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Being in a relationship with an entitled partner can be incredibly challenging. Entitlement often creates a one-sided dynamic in which the partner expects special treatment without giving anything in return.   I had the privilege of talking to a couple suffering from this sense of entitlement.   Rhonda and Ralph's marriage was strained due to Ralph's entitlement. Pampered as a child, he expected Rhonda to handle everything at home. Frustrated, Rhonda confronted him, stating she could no longer continue the relationship. Ralph repeated that he works hard and does his part. Rhonda sighed; her eyes filled with frustration . "It's not just about money, Ralph. It's about respect, partnership, and sharing the load. I need you to be involved, to see me as an equal."  Rhonda, finally at her wit's end, let Ralph know something needed to change, or she was leaving.   Realizing the depth of the issue, Ralph sought help. After a lot of hard work and reflection, he realized that his upbringing had shaped his expectations, which made him depend on Rhonda for catering to his needs, finances, and housework.   Change didn't happen overnight; it took effort from both. Rhonda found her strong voice and refused poor treatment, while Ralph learned to let go of his entitlement and became a better listener. Their journey showed that love is about daily actions and mutual respect, proving even deep-seated issues can be resolved with commitment and understanding.   Dealing with an entitled partner is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Meeting their constant demands without appreciation or support can lead to burnout. Here are some common issues you might face:   Imbalance of Effort Lack of Appreciation Constant Criticism Emotional Manipulation Isolation from Support Systems Mental and Emotional Exhaustion Healthy relationships thrive on compromise and mutual respect. However, an entitled partner often resists compromising because they believe their needs should come first.   Entitlement is another of the most difficult blind spots to acknowledge and overcome.   How about you? Could entitlement be negatively impacting your relationship?   Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships .  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Excuses are among the most challenging blind spots to identify and overcome. I have struggled to let go of using excuses to avoid recognizing and addressing uncomfortable truths. This avoidance provided a temporary escape, making it easier to sidestep issues I didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone change. However, clinging to these excuses has become a tremendous burden, preventing personal growth and hindering my potential. In my early years, the temptation to use excuses to avoid accepting responsibility was strong. I often tried to maintain a positive image by avoiding responsibility when things went wrong. This immature behavior provided a convenient escape from scrutiny, making my life more comfortable. I discovered that excuses enabled me to avoid taking responsibility for my actions or inactions, allowing me to sidestep accountability and escape feelings of guilt or shame. Whenever I failed at something, attributing the failure to external circumstances instead of my shortcomings provided a false sense of protection for my self-esteem. Excuses significantly reduce stress and anxiety. When faced with a challenging task or situation, an excuse provides a temporary escape, relieving immediate pressure and making the situation more manageable. This stress reduction is particularly valuable in high-pressure environments, where the fear of failure or criticism can be overwhelming. However, it is essential to consider the hazards of making excuses. Excuses can significantly hinder personal growth and cause missed opportunities. By relying on excuses, I avoid confronting my weaknesses and learning from my mistakes, leading to stagnation. This behavior strains relationships, as others may view me as unreliable, eroding trust and respect. Over time, making excuses can damage self-respect and increase stress and anxiety due to unresolved issues. It hampers problem-solving skills, making me more adept at deflecting blame rather than finding solutions. In team settings, excuses disrupt collaboration and productivity, leading to resentment among members. Additionally, frequent excuse-making can tarnish my reputation, affecting my personal and professional opportunities. Ultimately, relying on excuses traps me in a cycle of mediocrity, limiting my potential and preventing me from achieving true success. How about you? Are excuses getting in your path of growth? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

In my quest for knowledge, I often focus on what I know and what I know I don't know. But there's a third, elusive category: the unknown unknowns. Embracing this concept can lead to breakthroughs and personal growth. Have you ever had an epiphany that completely blindsided you? That's the essence of the "unknown unknowns" – the things you don't even realize you don't know. It's a perplexing yet fascinating concept with significant implications for personal growth, innovation, and decision-making. Consider this: I used to be very controlling and insisted on being right in every situation. Despite being called a control freak occasionally, my need for control wasn't apparent. While I understood that being controlling was negative, I couldn't see that behavior in myself. When I finally realized I was controlling, my life changed. I became humbler and a better listener. I began to look intently at the areas not working well for me and the ones I loved. Recognizing the existence of these unknown unknowns was the first step toward overcoming them. It required an acknowledgment that no matter how much I know, more lurks beyond my comprehension. Embracing the unknown unknowns can lead to breakthroughs. By staying curious and open to new experiences, I can create opportunities for unanticipated discoveries. These are the gaps I can't identify because I'm not aware they exist. So, how do I navigate this tricky terrain? It starts with fostering a culture of continuous learning and curiosity. Ask questions, seek diverse perspectives, and challenge my assumptions. I surround myself with people who think differently and aren't afraid to point out the gaps in my understanding. This is easy to say yet hard to do. While the unknown unknowns can be daunting, they also hold the potential for profound growth and discovery. By acknowledging and embracing what I don't know I don't know, I can expand my horizons and unlock new possibilities. How about you? Who do you need to listen to hear what you have yet to hear? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please share, like and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The Serenity Prayer, my guiding principle, offers profound wisdom for navigating life's challenges. It encapsulates a balanced approach to life by fostering acceptance, courage, and wisdom. By embracing this prayer, I can experience numerous benefits contributing to personal growth, emotional stability, and overall well-being. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Letting go of things beyond my control can significantly reduce my stress and anxiety. I foster deeper connections and reduce conflicts by acknowledging and accepting others as they are. This feels like surrender for me. (Yipes) The courage to change the things I can empowers me to take proactive steps toward improvement. Change can be very difficult for me. However, each act of courage builds self-confidence. I develop a stronger belief in my abilities by stepping out of my comfort zone and making changes. Embracing change and taking risks opens new opportunities and experiences. Wisdom to discern what can and cannot be changed improves my decision-making process. It helps me focus my energy on productive actions rather than futile efforts. Wisdom fosters a deeper understanding of life's complexities, leading to inner peace. Integrating the Serenity Prayer into my daily life helps me internalize these principles. Reflecting on situations where I practiced acceptance, showed courage, or exercised wisdom has been particularly beneficial. It helps me see where my changes are working. Sharing experiences and learning from others can provide additional support. Using affirmations to remind myself of the Serenity Prayer's principles offers positive reinforcement, helping embed these values into my subconscious mind. Living according to the Serenity Prayer offers a balanced approach to handling life's challenges. By fostering acceptance, courage, and wisdom, I can achieve emotional stability, personal growth, and inner peace. Embracing these principles enhances my well-being and positively impacts my relationships and overall outlook on life. How about you? Could your life be enhanced by living by this amazing prayer? Watch for the blind spots. Download your printable .pdf of the Serenity Prayer click image below. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

You've heard me talk about shame and the struggle to fit in as a small boy. I was always among the smallest in my class, and I stuttered some, giving me a sense of being less than. I tried to be perfect and show no flaws or blemishes to avoid feeling bad about myself. I had no idea I'd become so skilled at rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying (RMJ) everything. This was a massive blind spot for me. I didn't realize how difficult it was to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't take responsibility for anything. I did not know how incredibly frustrating it was to converse with someone who behaves like a verbal slippery fish, wiggling, struggling, jerking, trying to get away without looking bad. The hardest part was when I behaved like that slippery fish and couldn't even see it. I'd use an excessive number of words to deflect meaning or create distractions, shifting focus away from any perceived accusation. I worked hard not to look bad. Rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying can erode trust in relationships. When one party constantly rationalizes their behavior, it signals to the other person that they're unwilling to take responsibility. Justifying actions or minimizing issues leaves underlying problems unaddressed, leading to repeated misunderstandings and ongoing disputes. Effective communication requires vulnerability and honesty. Minimizing feelings can prevent deep, meaningful connections by discouraging open and honest expression of emotions. Consistently rationalizing or justifying behavior hinders personal growth, preventing individuals from acknowledging their mistakes, learning from them, and making necessary changes. Minimizing problems can lead to a lack of self-awareness and emotional maturity. Healthy communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, personal or professional. As mentioned, behaviors like rationalizing, minimizing, and justifying can significantly hinder the effectiveness of our interactions. The hard part for me was recognizing and admitting I was doing something ineffective in my communication. How about you? Are you deflecting conversation like I have done, or are you examining the consequences of your discussions? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Yesterday was Father's Day, and I was reflecting on the kind of dad I was for my boys. Looking back, I see many things I wish I had done differently. While I was a good provider, I now realize several essential elements needed to be included. I always wanted the best for my boys, but I was often ill-equipped to be there for them in the way I would if I could turn back time. Being a great dad isn't just about providing; it's about being a role model, offering love and support, and guiding your children through life's ups and downs. I love the Commandment: "Honor your father and your mother." It's a profound commandment, and I see it as a reminder for fathers to act honorably so they deserve to be honored. A great dad provides a safe and nurturing environment filled with love, understanding, and respect. Kids need to feel secure physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's crucial to demonstrate positive behaviors and show kindness, patience, and integrity. By embodying these qualities and presenting myself honorably, I set a standard for my children to aspire to. A great dad listens to his kids, valuing their opinions and feelings. Engaging in meaningful conversations helps build a strong, trusting relationship. It's crucial to be approachable so your children feel comfortable coming to you with all their problems and successes. Another important aspect is supporting children's interests and education. Encourage their passions and be involved in their learning journey because your involvement significantly impacts them. A great dad knows the importance of balancing discipline with love. Setting boundaries and enforcing rules helps teach responsibility and respect. However, it's equally important to show affection and praise. Oh, to go back and relive the Commandment from a dad’s point of view. I am so proud of my boys even though their lives could have been better had I been a better-equipped dad. What a privilege to hear "Happy Father's Day, Dad." How about you? Is there anything you could do differently to be more honorable? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

A dad found a letter from his 15-year-old son on his pillow. It read: Dad, I've decided to run away with my new girlfriend. She's older, has had many struggles, and she's pregnant. She needs me. We're moving into her trailer in the woods, where we have enough firewood for the winter. We dream of having many more children together. She's shown me that drugs aren't as harmful as you taught me. We plan to grow marijuana and trade it for ecstasy and cocaine. I'm confident that science will eventually cure all her illnesses. She has been so good to me, Dad. I can't wait to come back home with your grandchildren. Love, John PS: None of this is true. I am at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than a report card. It's in my center drawer. Love you, Dad. Call when it's safe to come home. This letter had me laughing out loud! I got so caught up in the story that the ending surprised me. What a clever letter! It reminds me of Reader's Digest's "Laughter is the Best Medicine." There are countless things to laugh about if we take the time to find or create them. Have you noticed how laughter is contagious? It's a social glue that strengthens people and relationships and enhances teamwork. Sharing a laugh with friends or coworkers can build a sense of connection. Laughter isn't just a response to humor; it's a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. It can boost your mood, enhance your immune system, and improve your overall well-being. When you laugh, your body undergoes physiological changes incredibly beneficial to your health. Whenever I feel down or stressed, I look for something that makes me laugh. Whether it's a funny movie, a joke, or a chat with a friend, remember that laughter is a great medicine. It is a highly effective way to boost your health and happiness. How about you? Is laughter a medicine you can use to lift your spirits? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Like, share or comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The other day, I was getting a burger and fries. I was in a hurry, so I placed the order to go. I watched the process of taking the order and relaying it to the kitchen. I watched the order come out, but it needed to be prepared for a to-go order. The young man caught the mistake before I could point it out and apologized. He then turned to place it in a bag. He had difficulty getting the bag to open. He carefully placed the burger in the bag and closed it, only to remember he had left the fries out. After placing the fries in and closing the bag, he remembered the napkins and again opened the bag for the napkins. Then he turned to talk to one of his pretty coworkers. At this time, it seemed I had been standing there for more than 30 minutes. It was probably only 2. He then remembered that he didn’t put in the ketchup. The withered bag was opened again to add the ketchup. By this time, I figured the burger, and fries were ice cold. Isn’t it humorous that I was being so picky? I wanted to coach him about the importance of speed and pleasing his customers. I could see myself talking to the manager and letting her know how proper training would build better customer relations and more returning customers. Wow, the old me was really coming into play here. [Blind Spot] I suddenly remembered Sister Honora at Sacred Heart Jr. High frequently saying to me, “Patience is a virtue seldom in a woman, never in a man.” I had to laugh and reflect on my situation. I realized I was making a big deal out of nothing. The virtue of patience was absent until I caught myself thinking in completely unreasonable terms. Overall, patience promotes a calm and reflective state of mind, which supports peaceful thinking and behavior. In contrast, impatience disrupts this balance, causing stress, conflict, and ineffective behaviors. How about you?  Do you catch yourself impatient at times? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback. Like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Every day, I have the privilege of meeting a diverse group of individuals. The people who truly captivate me are those who, despite feeling lost or needing new perspectives on life, family, work, or other circumstances, find the courage to seek help. They often describe their situation as being at their wits' end. When I say, "I'm at my wits' end," it means I am completely frustrated and overwhelmed by a situation. I've tried everything I can to solve a problem, but nothing has worked, leaving me feeling helpless and unsure of what to do next. It's a way of expressing that I'm out of ideas and patience. When I find myself at my wits' end, I choose to view it as a potential turning point. It's a moment that can either feel like a dead-end alley, if I allow it, or it can spark a glimmer of hope and anticipation for something new and fresh to emerge. This shift in perspective can be a powerful tool in navigating challenging situations. Experiencing being at one's wits' end can be profoundly overwhelming, yet several practical strategies can help manage stress and identify viable solutions. These strategies, such as taking a break, walking, meditating, or sitting quietly to clear your mind, have been proven to be effective in regaining control and finding solutions. Engaging in conversation with friends or family can provide emotional relief and offer new perspectives. Documenting your issues can make them seem more manageable, facilitating the prioritization of what needs to be addressed first. Additionally, breaking problems into smaller, more manageable tasks allows you to focus on each one individually, reducing the risk of feeling overwhelmed by the entirety of your concerns and making it easier to make progress. The complexity of being at my wits' end and how long I have been experiencing this determines what antidote I apply. At times, professional assistance is necessary. I can be immobilized or invigorated when I am at my wit's end. I choose invigorating. How about you? Do you find yourself at your wit's end or a new beginnings? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, it is invaluable. I appreciate you liking, sharing and commenting. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I have noticed that change is inevitable. It happens whether I like it or not, and it doesn't wait for my permission. Life moves forward, and with it, every relationship I hold. The passing of time ensures that no bond remains static. But here's the catch: while change is inevitable, growth within our relationships is not. Growth requires active participation, consent, and a conscious decision to pursue it. Every relationship experiences its share of changes—circumstances shift, people evolve, and dynamics alter. But growth? Growth is something different. Growth is intentional. It demands effort, reflection, and a willingness to look inward. It's about choosing to learn from my experiences and foster deeper connections. Why do some relationships flourish while others falter under the weight of inevitable changes? The answer lies in my approach to growth. It's easy to become complacent and let change wash over me without taking steps to grow. But growth requires more than adapting to change; it requires proactive participation. Change is inevitable, but growth is intentional. One of the most powerful tools for fostering growth is identifying my blind spots. These are the hidden areas where my behaviors, assumptions, and attitudes can hinder my relationships. By bringing these blind spots to light, I pave the way for emotional maturity. This process isn't always comfortable. Facing my shortcomings and vulnerabilities takes courage, and it's through this self-awareness that I can truly grow. Looking for blind spots is akin to shining a light in the dark corners of my mind. (Now, that can be scary.) It reveals truths I might prefer to ignore but are essential for my personal and relational development. When I recognize and address these areas, I unlock the potential for deeper understanding and stronger connections. While change in my relationships is unavoidable, growth is a choice I must make. By continuously seeking out my blind spots and committing to personal improvement, I adapt to change and thrive within it. How about you? Does change lead to your growth? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I recently talked with a young man entangled in troubles at school and with the law. Despite his challenges, he struck me as a fine young man, grappling with conflicting emotions about what was best for himself and what was expected of him by his society. His dad and his dad's parents told him that because he had a bad childhood, he would always be in trouble. As we explored this, he said he had a bad mom, and he was doomed to a tough life. I noticed he couldn't accept compliments or say anything good about his life at home or school. Fighting was his go-to approach, and he didn't care if he won or lost. The scars left by a tumultuous upbringing can shape one's worldview, influence one's decisions, and even determine one's behavioral patterns, but they don't perpetuate bad behavior. It's a delicate balance, navigating between compassion for someone's troubled history and holding them accountable for their present conduct. While empathy can foster understanding and pave the way for healing, absolving individuals of responsibility for their actions undermines the very essence of getting better. Justifying wrongdoing based on a problematic upbringing perpetuates a narrative of victimhood, cementing the notion that one's past defines one's future. This approach diminishes innate resilience and overlooks the inspiring stories of individuals who have risen above their upbringing, shaping lives characterized by compassion and moral strength. While acknowledging the profound impact of childhood trauma, there is an unwavering truth: just because one had a bad childhood does not justify bad behavior. Often, what's lacking in individuals affected by trauma is trust, love, and connection. Fortunately, these qualities can be nurtured by anyone committed to positively impacting their lives. I choose to be an intervention for individuals who have suffered difficulty during their young and formative years. I want to instill hope and insight into their future. How about you? Does your childhood hold you back? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for liking, sharing and commenting. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I can easily slip into a slump and feel like a tangled mess, bogged down by outdated habits, unfulfilled dreams, and unproductive routines. Much like a computer overwhelmed with too many open tabs, there comes a point where I need to hit the "reboot" button and start fresh. Rebooting my life is a powerful metaphor for consciously resetting my path, shedding old constraints, and embracing new opportunities. It implies a fresh start, clearing away accumulated clutter and confusion. It's about taking a step back, assessing where I am, and identifying what needs to change. This process begins with self-reflection. I ask myself: What aspects of my life are not serving me well? What habits or patterns do I need to break free from? Once I have reflected and identified the change, I must create a plan. If the issues are minor, a quick reboot might reset my computer and life. But if things are deeply troubling, I might need to install new "software" to enhance my life's operating system. I must establish a fresh vision for a more fulfilling life. Whether pursuing a new career, adopting a healthier lifestyle, or cultivating more meaningful relationships, having a roadmap will guide my reboot process. I can reboot anytime, anywhere. When I recognize my emotional immaturity (when anxiety overrides my intellect) that lets me I need to reboot. When I find myself losing control, an emotional reboot can help me regain my sense of self. Knowing I have this option is comforting. If my life feels upside down, it's likely because I've endured too much for too long. When life gets complicated, it's easy to blame others instead of rebooting. Blaming means avoiding change and taking the easy way out. If I wait for others to change to improve my life, I might be waiting a long time. How about you? Can you benefit from the reboot process? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships.  Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp