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Holding grudges is like being very ill and not seeking medical assistance. Joe and Janice have been arguing about the same thing for over a week. The argument is not that important, but they just keep it going. How long will this last? Who is at fault? What will it take to begin to move forward in the relationship? Small things that get carried along can morph into larger things as they continue to persist. Being able to resolve these small skirmishes will be a gift to the future. When loving relationships, whether family or couples, fracture or become distant, it is critical to seek resolution as soon as possible. This does not say that I will continue to relent and be treated badly. It means that I have my limits and will endure an occasional slip-up, but I will not endure them continually. I cannot tolerate the same repeated mistakes over and over. I say—so what, now what. I cannot go back and unring the bell. If I have offended someone, I must let my heart and their perception of me serve as my apology. If I have been offended, seeking, and allowing reconciliation as soon as possible is important. Carrying a grudge without giving or getting relief, can build resentments that also get carried into the future and continue to contaminate the relationship. “You don’t hold grudges. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.” —Jim Rohn So what…I need to find ways to move forward and not hold back… Now what? Look for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #communication #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondayvibes #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy

Have you ever looked at the cost of a broken or fractured relationship? If it leads to a divorce, it can be horribly expensive in both dollars and emotional pain. They can cost tens of thousands of dollars in addition to excruciating emotional anguish. Divorce doesn’t just affect two people. It can be a traumatic experience for children, and no one can put a price on the children's tears or the concern of those who care about the two of you. I have witnessed too many tears due to divorce. Being away from both parents causes indescribable grief, and additional variables like fighting and bickering before and after the divorce worsen everyone's emotional suffering. Property division can be contentious, children may find it difficult to not have all of their stuff in one place, and the different rules that apply in each household can be very confusing. A poor or broken relationship can be very harmful to the parents and the kids even if it does not result in divorce, it affects every area of life. Work Broken or fractured work relationships can cause a loss of income, poor productivity, being passed over for promotion, creating a poor environment within the work group, and many other terrible experiences. Family Broken or fractured family relationships are extremely stressful and make family gatherings, celebrations, and scheduling more difficult, especially when children are involved. Social Broken or fractured relationships among friends and neighbors may frequently cause disturbances in social circles. Friends and neighbors may take sides, and this can be quite painful when once-close friends or work acquaintances turn away. Stop! One of the most difficult adjustments in relationships is getting out of my own vacant head and observing how the other person responds. Whether it's physical or emotional indicators, I need to use empathy to see what the other is showing me. Am I attracting or repelling them? This is a foreign concept, but it’s crucial. It's not the type of interpersonal conversation I usually have with myself. Paying attention to poor or damaged relationships—as soon as they begin to deteriorate—can save both you and others’ dollars and emotional distress. "A Stitch in time saves Nine." Thomas Fullers’ book Gnomologia, Adagies and Proverbs, published in 1732. Note: Not all relationships can be salvaged. Some relationships are so toxic and fractured you must disengage. Look for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #Friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #leadershipdevelopment #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #courageous #listening #listeningskills

Couples and families come into my office locked into arguments that create defensiveness and emotional pain which is difficult to dispel. In this instance, we only see and hear what the ‘other person’ is doing to contribute to the difficulty in this situation. Many years ago, I recall a single mom who had a 9-year-old son. She reported that her son was very disrespectful and argumentative and whenever an argument ensued, he would run to his room and hide under his bed. She said that he would not listen to her. By the way, her son was in the room as we discussed this circumstance. Instead of leaving her new "camcorder" (notice this is an old story) in the hot car, where it might be damaged or stolen, she brought it into the office. In my office, her son was behaving like an angel. I suggested that she use the new "camcorder" to record his behavior considering his disparate actions at home and at the office so I could see what she was referring to. The next week she came in very excited with this statement, “I got him.” As we huddled around the small screen to watch the incident, an argument ensued, and he screamed and yelled and ran into his room and under the bed. She chased him, shouting louder than he was and using expletives she didn't want me to hear. She was presenting herself as an ‘out-of-control mom.’ After less than a moment, she asked if we could turn it off. She was both enlightened and embarrassed because she was hearing a part of the conversation she had never heard before. I often ask couples and families to record their conversations when they're having difficulty. Then each person is to take the recording into a room by themselves and listen to the person they didn't hear during that conversation. Yes, they didn't hear their own voice. After everyone has listened to the recording, it is then erased. It is not used to justify behavior or actions but to hear their own voice. Occasionally someone will say, “Do you think I would say or act the same if I knew it was being recorded?” I love it! Whenever you can hear yourself in the conversation, it is extremely enlightening. Listen to yourself and see what you can learn. Watch for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #courageous #listening #listeningskills

Have you ever found yourself in conversations doing any of these things? Filibustering or trying to convince Avoiding or abandoning the conversation Becoming argumentative or angry Pleasing or placating Using humor Notice these are things that we learn as children. It is my observation that learning to reduce stress as children, we found ourselves doing these things: Temper tantrum Yelling Getting quiet or alone Causing a distraction by pleasing Using humor to break the tension When we learned these things as a child, I say we were in 'survival mode', and we reacted or counteracted. As these stress reactions fade, we pick up these stress approaches and bring them into our adult world, where they manifest as emotional immaturity. Having a tantrum as an adult is ineffective. It also doesn't help to shout and argue. Over-pleasing may sound healthy, but over time it can lead to serious issues. I say that by attending school and paying attention to our parents and teachers, children develop intellectually. By eating, sleeping, and exercising, we develop physically. These things are natural in our everyday lives, however; growing emotionally is not. Without conscious effort and focus on learning how to handle our emotions, we find ourselves in deep trouble. When we can recognize that we are employing self-control regardless of our circumstances and the mood or reaction of others, then we can truly say that we are emotionally mature. Until then, we may find ourselves going out of control to gain control. Be sure your stool has three legs. Watch for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #courageous #mondaymotivation #mondayvibes #mondaythoughts

Superman, Ironman, Spiderman, or Flash? What's not to like about a hero who wears a cape and can fly in to save you from grave danger at a moment's notice? There is another hero to consider, a Greek hero, Achilles. He was the son of an immortal goddess named Thetis and a mortal man named Peleus. When Achilles was born, Thetis thought she could make him immortal by submerging him into the River Styx. As legend has it, Thetis held Achilles by his heel when she dipped him into the river. But this left his heel untouched by the magical waters of the River Styx and it remained mortal and thus vulnerable. He is an invincible warrior who is as strong as an ox and as stubborn as a mule. His passion serves as his own "Achilles heel", so much so that Achilles lets a petty slight get the better of him, overriding his commitment to his main cause and it costs him his life. How many times do we allow something petty to derail us or get us off course? An Achilles’ heel is an unexpected problem or weakness in an otherwise strong person or a system that can result in injury, failure, or death. For example, if I am trying to lose weight but love to eat ice cream, you could say that my love of ice cream is my Achilles’ heel. If I see something’s on sale, I’ll buy it – even if I don’t need it. Your smartphone can be your Achilles’ heel if you always have it out when you’re with your family or friends. It could be any one of a number of weaknesses or vulnerabilities, such as pride, impatience, laziness, selfishness, stubbornness, impulsiveness, fear, passivity, or aggression. If we can identify patterns, or potential ‘derailers’, we can look for solutions to overcome these. There is no greater learning than learning from our mistakes – in fact, we always learn more. Instead of just doing things the way you have always done them, reflecting encourages skill development and effectiveness evaluation. It involves asking yourself constructive questions about what you do and why you do it and deciding if there is a better way to do it in the future. Understanding our own responses and behaviors enables us to interact more effectively, make wiser decisions, and overcome obstacles. It involves challenging your limiting beliefs, allowing yourself to be open to vulnerability, and developing a new mindset of being at ease in uncomfortable situations. What is your Achilles heel? We can't change or grow unless we challenge the status quo. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #friday #Achilles #achillesheel #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy

Bob and Amy have been married for five years. He had to go into the office early and was required to stay late, it’s been a long day. On the drive home, Bob is trying to clear his mind of work clutter, because he is ready to get home and feel the comfort of his family. Upon his arrival, Amy meets him with the statement, “you are late!” He immediately flares back, “I've been working all day, and this is the way I get greeted?” She retorts “Well, why didn't you call?” He knows that this is escalating but he takes the bait anyway and an argument ensues. Both wanted a pleasant evening, but now emotions have escalated and that's not possible. The evening ends with neither feeling appreciated nor that their feelings matter at all. What a common situation. If you listen intently beneath the words, you hear an entirely different message. Hearing the words, you are late, can be translated into I was missing you. I was worried that something could have happened to you. I wanted to feel your presence. Can you now hear the compliment beneath the words? “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” —Peter Drucker She wanted to see him, she was missing him, and concerned about him which is positive and complimentary. She did not say any of that though and he surely did not hear it. If Amy had recognized her heightened emotions, she could have talked about herself instead of him. She could have said, “I was concerned about you, I was missing you, and wanted to see you and hear your voice.” Their connection could have turned out very differently. It would have been easier for him to listen beneath the words if he hadn't been overly emotional about his difficult day and possibly other things that were threatening to him and taking up his attention. If he could have heard that she was missing him, was excited to see him, or wanted to feel his presence or if she could have said those words about herself, the evening could have turned out the way they both wanted. Listening beneath the words, looking for compliments in disguise, takes a great sense of self-control and humility. Talking about yourself when your emotions are high can produce a highly effective result. You can do it and the results are amazing! Look for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdaymotivation #compliments #PeterDrucker #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy

Joe and Janice have been married for 11 years. They have a fractured relationship, and it has been eroding for the past three. It has been going downhill so slightly that neither is aware of their current circumstances. So, Joe comes in and the first thing Janice mentions is that he forgot to do something she asked him to do earlier. Joe loses it and shouts, “You only look at what I don't do, not what I do. I am the one who makes this household run as it does. You are only critical of me! I never mention what I ask you to do, and you don't do it. I'm sick of this. I'm going to the pub!” Wow, let's take a look at this. I call it two dollars’ worth of guff for a nickel’s worth of offense. It is obvious because of his reaction that Joe's ‘anxiety reservoir’ has just boiled over. I say his ‘anxiety reservoir’ is full because he could not tolerate another stressor. This happens for several reasons. Joe has unresolved issues with Janice. He is having difficulties at work. The children are creating issues. There are financial issues. Perhaps there is an illness in the family or any other stressors or worries that he has allowed to remain unresolved. When it goes unchecked, it can show up as road rage, anger, or major frustration. Unless these issues are dealt with, the ‘anxiety reservoir’ stays high and one small issue can send it through the roof. How can you head this off? Constant self-awareness and self-reflection identify stressors. The intent is to deal with them individually in a way that emotions are lessened. This provides some vacancy in the ‘anxiety reservoir’, allowing him to remain calm when other circumstances arise. I must be more aware of my own ‘anxiety reservoir’ so that I don’t allow it to boil over and spill out on the ones I love the most. It takes personal vigilance to keep my ‘anxiety reservoir’ in check. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #mondaymotivation #monday #anxiety

You have a strong sense of self-worth; you know what you want and how to get it. You are assertive enough to get people's attention, but not so aggressive that you scare them away. Your life is going exactly as you planned, and you are truly happy—AND THEN—something completely unexpected comes at you like a ton of bricks and sends stars whirling around your head. Someone draws your attention to a behavior that is obvious to everyone but you. You are shocked, perplexed, and left wondering who, what, why, and where to start. Your boss tells you that your team members are aggravated with you and that you need to change. You are a dreamer, and someone tells you about your limiting beliefs. And let’s be fair, blind spots are not always negative. You may discover that you are blind to both your positive and negative characteristics. Even those who seem to be incredibly attractive can feel inferior and unattractive. High achievers who experience poverty as a child may believe they will never have enough money. Children who go without food for extended periods of time may end up overspending on food and supplies as adults. Remember that blind spots mask one's true emotions by displaying the opposite of those emotions. Voting with your emotions rather than your beliefs, remaining in unhealthy relationships, accepting deadlines you can't meet, and supporting a group you regularly criticize are all blind spots. Eating disorders, anxiety, compulsive behaviors, depression, or other emotional and behavioral difficulties can be the result of them. From my own experience, I know when told I was doing something wrong or out of line it was impossible to hear. I didn’t like being wrong. Listening to grow was an unfamiliar concept. I did not think I needed to hear perceived negative things about myself. Why don’t they look at what I have done well? It is easier to blame others rather than look at myself. But when I am open to hearing about myself, I can overcome these kinds of blind spots. Now I hear them as opportunities and ways of effectively connecting. I now have the courage to be vulnerable. I can laugh at myself. I saw vulnerability as an intense weakness. What a terrible misconception. “Have courage, dear heart, for there is nothing to be afraid of and never has been.” — C.S.Lewis This is something that has become so powerful for me and today, I am grateful for this kind of feedback. It only makes me better. If I want to live out my life with the fewest regrets possible, I must have this kind of feedback to give me that chance. Change requires an inordinate amount of courage. When I change my actions and behaviors, I observe that others find it easier to start changing theirs as well. I need to do something different so I can have the ones who are close to me in my life. I want "close"—meaning tangible, connected, in communication with, and "participating in life" kinds of relationships. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #fridayvibes #fridayfeeling #cslewis #cslewisquotes

Early in a relationship...the seed. I meet someone and feel a mutual attraction. On the first date, I throw out all the hamburger sacks tossed in the back seat of my car. I wouldn’t want them to think I might be a slob. We talk about who we are and have a lot of fun getting to know each other. I find myself wanting to spend more thyme with them. It's simple to dig into a conversation and ask questions, to be accepting, positive, and interested. It's so appealing to feel a connection, that chemistry, which I refer to as the "drug of love." But is this the real me? Am I "presenting an image" that is more favorable than who I actually am in this new relationship? Is this something I can cultivate and sustain in the long run? Is this the one that is mint to be? Fast forward...the garden. We are married. We are watering, pruning, and tending in order to grow and flourish. Taking care to monitor the chemistry in our garden has ensured the maximum amount of growth. Our first two children are here, and this expansion has changed our lives Yes, it has brought about significant changes, with the nourishment and development of children becoming the primary focus. Where we used to sow seeds of hope, love, and encouragement, we now allow weeds to take over and the ground of the relationship erodes. We spend more time focusing on what each other is doing wrong or unsuitable, abandoning what we used to cherish and develop. In contrast to when we first met, we start to cut and prune each other. Majoring on each on each other’s minuses has become catastrophic. The weeds of sarcasm, mockery, ignoring, belittling, interrupting, and other disrespectful behaviors take over. And then there are those annoying weeds such as small lies, breaking promises, blaming, being distant or avoidant, forgetting to put the toothpaste's cap back on, and leaving dirty socks on the floor. Before, I felt sought after and special. I knew I was the most important thing to you. Now I feel like a “forget-me-not.” I've been replaced by the kids, the job, the money, the friends, the alcohol, and many other things. I no longer feel good about myself when I'm in your presence. How many of us have been in this place? The growth and sustainability of relationships depend on us grading ourselves on how we feel about ourselves in front of the other on a weekly basis, regardless of where we are in that relationship—at the seedling or mature stage. The minute I feel it sinks below an 8 on a one to 10 scale, I must begin to look at MY contribution to the erosion. We need to develop the ability to put the other person's needs before our own. It is crucial in fostering and supporting relationship growth. Relationships without pursuit wither. The more I focus on myself and what I'm not getting, the more I present as a weed. The more I tend, nurture, and cultivate, by saying what I desire in a relationship, the easier it is for me to reap what has been sown. Don't let relationships rot on the vine. Early warning signs can make change much easier. It’s a beautiful thing seeing what all the love, commitment, and devotion can create, so have patience. Harvest will come in due time! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdayvibes #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy

Growing up in the 50s with five other siblings was tough on me. I was very frail, small, and constantly picked on. We didn't have the most stylish clothing, so again I received a lot of teasing. Teasing, shame, and embarrassment were confidence thieves for me. My desire to be liked and accepted was very important. I would make every effort to come across as likable as I could in any social situation or environment. I never let any shortcomings or flaws show because that was horrible. Living this way for half of my life was taxing not only on myself but also on those around me. Being perfect, I thought, would lessen my shame. I had no idea that perfection did not exist, and that in my attempt to hide my flaws, I would fall back into the shame pit. Whether others noticed my blemishes or not, I was confused and frustrated. Learning to accept me for whom God made me to be was a pivot point. It took so many years but when I “got it,” it was amazingly freeing. I was so prideful and egotistical that I had no idea how to be real or feel authentic. I had no idea how much I didn't know about humility. Humility is not something that comes naturally. It is something that must be developed during the maturation process. Here are a few things that altered my perception of humility: I can't have it unless I get honest feedback on how others perceive me. I can acknowledge imperfection and it is okay. I can admit and discuss my mistakes. I accept my fallibility and flaws. I can say less and ask more. Humility takes vulnerability and it’s great. It takes courage to be humble. I do not have to be defensive. I can safely admit when I’m wrong. Humility draws empathy from others thus creating connection. I find that humility can reduce anxiety and embarrassment. This lesson of humility can be learned from others or from the hard knocks of life, as I did. Wow! What a lesson to learn “early” in life. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #humility #courageous #mondaymotivation #mondayvibes #mondaythoughts #humilityiskey

I read in an article that before Febreze was a “cleaning staple” sold at groceries across America, Procter & Gamble declared it a dud and nearly pulled it from shelves. In the launch research, marketers talked to a park ranger who said her love life was ruined because everything around her smelled like skunk. She began crying as she told them how the spray had changed her life. Drake Stimson (Senior Brand Manager) sniffed the air inside her living room. He couldn't smell anything. We're going to make a fortune with this stuff, he thought. But the product didn't sell when it became widely available. Searching for answers, Stimson visited a woman with nine cats who tried Febreze but didn't keep using it. She was so used to the smell of cat urine; she didn't know she needed it. Marketing a product that neutralizes odors to a consumer base that inherently believes no odor exists in their own home is impossible. Stimson then knew the park ranger took them down the wrong path. “She made us think that Febreze would succeed by providing a solution to a problem. But who wants to admit their house stinks?" Febreze's first marketing attempts failed miserably, due to “nose blindness.” People who lived in chronically smelly homes did not know that they lived in chronically smelly homes. With constant exposure, they became desensitized to the scent. Without the scent, there was not even an opportunity for knowledge. You can have blind spots because of desensitization in a lot of areas. Some people live in clutter and just do not see it. Some people live in chaos and do not recognize it. Your perception of "normal" renders you "blind" to things. It can make you “blind” to dysfunction, sexism, racism, bullying, discrimination, domestic violence, child abuse, elder abuse, alcoholism, drug addiction, peace, acceptance, functional relationships and so much more. Take a step back and look at your house as if you were looking at it for the first time as if someone else lived there. What do you see? Consider some of your favorite people. Do you adore them so much that you choose to ignore their flaws? Consider your least favorite acquaintances. Do they possess any good characteristics that you ignore because it's easier for you to think of them negatively? The P&G marketing team utilized its research cues—the bad smells that were supposed to trigger daily use were hidden from the people who needed them the most. Maybe your blind spots contribute to increased conflict in your relationship with one or more people. Perhaps your blind spots allow you to avoid conflict in a relationship. Do you recognize your "nose blindness" to your blind spots, how can you get your relationships back on track? Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #fridaymotivation #noseblind #blindspots #fridayvibes #fridaymood #counseling #marriageandfamilytherapy #leadershipdevelopment

I am reminded of a story that was sent to Dear Abby. Dear Abby, a young man from a wealthy family was about to graduate from high school. It was the custom in that “affluent neighborhood” for the parents to give the graduate an automobile. "Bill" and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation, they found the perfect car. On the eve of his graduation, his father handed him his gift. He reluctantly opened the present, which contained a Bible that had his name on it. "Bill" was so angry, that he threw the Bible down and stormed out of the house. He and his father never saw each other again. It was the news of his father's death that brought "Bill” home. Regardless of what had happened, the father left him his entire estate, everything he possessed. As he sat going through his father's possessions, he came across the Bible his father had given him. He brushed away the dust and opened the package and there was the bible his father had given him. He opened the bible and was shocked to find a cashier's check, it was dated the day of his graduation in the exact amount of the car they had chosen together. Wow, I can't even begin to imagine how "Bill" was feeling at that precise moment. If only, right?! If only "Bill" had just taken a moment to stop, pause, and observe objectively the situation before concluding his father's motivations at the time the package was given to him on graduation, things would have been very different. It is the same with all of us. We can all have a certain expectation, and excited anticipation, and when it comes in a different package, we throw the baby out with the bath water. Learning to stop, pause, and observe objectively allows us to consider other people and past experiences before passing judgment and potentially jeopardizing our relationships. When what we believe to be true gets in the way of building deeper, more meaningful relationships, we need to clear the path and carefully consider our next step. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #growthmindset #wednesdaywisdom #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #counselingworks #communicationiskey #leadershipcoaching #buildingrelationships