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Looking back, my emotional immaturity in my younger years led me to gravitate toward people who accepted me rather than those who challenged me to grow. I didn't recognize my friends' influence on my choices and mindset. I wasn't spending time with the most ambitious or academically driven crowd. Instead, I settled for comfort and familiarity. I missed opportunities for personal growth and didn't develop much in my social, intellectual, or spiritual circles.   Through study and time, I've refined my approach to building emotional connections. Now, I seek out people I admire and look up to.   Jim Rohn's iconic quote, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,"  speaks volumes about the power of association. Essentially, it means that the people closest to me profoundly influence my thoughts, behaviors, and, ultimately, my success in life. Whether I realize it or not, I tend to absorb habits, attitudes, and beliefs from the people around me.   Think about it: if I'm surrounded by ambitious, optimistic people constantly striving for improvement, I'll naturally feel motivated to push myself. On the flip side, if my inner circle is negative or complacent, it can drag me down, making it harder to reach my goals. Rohn's message is a reminder to choose my circle wisely.   This quote isn't about ditching friends who might be struggling or having a tough time; it's about balance.  I surround myself with people who inspire and challenge me, share similar values, and believe in growth. I now seek out mentors, friends, or colleagues who encourage me to level up.   By creating a positive, growth-focused circle, I'm not just changing who I spend time with; I'm changing who I am and who I am becoming. After all, my environment shapes me more than I realize.   As Jim Rohn wisely suggested, if you want to become the best version of yourself, start by being intentional with who you allow into your inner circle.   How about you? Do your five best friends challenge you to be your best?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Saturday, I was at a college football game, my first in a while. Waiting in line for the restroom at half-time was quite the experience. I traveled past the restroom looking for the end of the line, I thought I'd reached it a few times, only to be told to go further back. With each step, I wondered if I'd make it in time. After finding the end of the line, I was happy to see it move. About 25 feet from the restroom door, an older gentleman and a boy who seemed to be his grandson slipped into line ahead of me. The young man looked embarrassed, and I felt a flash of irritation, especially given the situation's urgency. But when he turned to me with an apologetic expression, I softened. I spoke to him kindly, saying, "We're all trying to get somewhere; let's do it better together." He looked relieved, and though I'm not sure how others in line felt, no one complained. This moment reminded me how my behavior can impact others, often more than I realize. A simple smile can lift spirits, while a dismissive glance can dampen them. Holding the door open might inspire kindness, just as ignoring someone might breed indifference. Every action I take, every word I speak, adds a line to the example of my life. Authenticity makes a difference. When I am genuine and consistent, people notice. My sincerity resonates with others, reflecting a life grounded in truth. The beauty of being an example is that I can always revise it. I am not bound to my past actions; I can reshape my message with conscious effort. Each day is an opportunity to ask myself: What am I teaching the world today? What message am I sending through my example? How about you? Are you being the example you want to show others? Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Shame is a powerful emotion that disrupts both internal peace and relationships. It often arises from hurtful words, gestures, or ridicule by others. People may dismiss shame, telling us to “get over it,”  but its impact can damage self-worth and connection with others.   In my early years, I attended a small rural school in Tankersley, Texas, where some students came from the West Texas Boys Ranch, a home for boys displaced by family struggles. As a dependent child, the idea of living without my parents terrified me. The boys from the ranch, hardened by life, often bullied me. Emotional survival became my priority, and I adapted by avoiding conflict, pleasing others, and doing whatever it took to fit in.   When I later moved to a larger school, I faced a new challenge: comparing myself to wealthier, more intelligent classmates. In a misguided attempt to fit in, I acted grandiose, trying to mask my shame. It took time to realize my pretense wasn’t working, which deepened my feelings of unworthiness.   For years, I wrestled with the idea of not being “enough.”  But instead of blaming my past, I’ve chosen to confront it and focus on growth. Recognizing shame and the stories I tell myself has been crucial. Positive self-talk, rewriting those negative narratives, and acting as if the positive stories are true have helped lift my spirit. Shame created a sense of shyness, which was a circular concept of shame, then shyness, then shame, and so forth.   Unresolved shame created blind spots which manifested as anger, defensiveness, or pushing others away. I unknowingly harmed relationships through these behaviors, but persistence led me to healthier patterns.   The shadow of shame, like a toxin, deteriorates relationships and self-esteem. Shame is frequently unfamiliar. Seeking help with shame for me was transformative. This reflection isn’t a cure but an invitation to understand how shame impacts relationships and how addressing it can open the door to healing and connection.   How about you? Does shame play a negative role in your life?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Years ago, an older man joined our church. He’s long since gone to be with the Lord, but I’ve never forgotten him. The fascinating thing was how boldly he met people. He’d arrive early, dressed awkwardly, often with traces of his last few breakfasts on his tie. My immature self couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. But then my friend asked a question that stopped me cold: “I wonder how come God put this man in our lives, Jerry?”   That question challenged me. It opened my eyes and nudged me to see the situation differently. Though it’s been more than 30 years, the lesson still echoes whenever I’m tempted to judge or ridicule someone. After all, who knows what another person has been through?  We’re all walking mysteries shaped by the unique paths we’ve traveled, filled with losses, triumphs, and everything in between.   It’s easy to look at others and compare them to myself, forgetting that God didn’t create us to look, act, or think the same way. I was so focused on outward appearances and how someone dressed or fit into the “acceptable”  mold that I missed the more profound truth: God’s design is far more intricate than we see on the surface.   That older man’s life wasn’t a puzzle for me or a project to critique. What if the food-stained tie was just a detail from a difficult morning? What if his awkward manner hid burdens I couldn’t begin to understand?  His presence wasn’t random. It was a divine reminder that everyone we meet is on a sacred journey.   Today, I try to live with this truth in mind: Everyone I encounter walks a path I may never fully understand.  And really, the call isn’t to judge or compare but to show grace. I should see each person as God’s handiwork and show grace not critique. After all, grace is not just something to receive. Grace is something I am meant to extend.   How about you?  Are you judging or asking why God put this person in your life?   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

What gifts do I bring each day?  How I show up at work or in my personal life shapes the energy I offer. I can bring positivity, calm, and focus or unintentionally drain those around me. The light I try to project can become fractured if I'm not mindful. Without being open to feedback, I may radiate an energy that creates distance rather than connection.   During my career in engineering and construction, I believed I was offering valuable gifts. I was determined and dependable, someone who could push projects through to completion. My superiors appreciated these qualities. However, my peers and subordinates experienced me differently. To them, I was inflexible, convinced I was always right, and, at times, less knowledgeable than they were. While I thought I was resilient and driven, my rigidity often stifled collaboration. I failed to see how the gifts I thought I was offering were being overshadowed by how I showed up.   I wish I had recognized this disconnect sooner, but I didn't. For years, I struggled to hear feedback without becoming defensive. This pattern wasn't limited to work; it followed me into my personal life. Family and friends tried to tell me how my energy impacted them, but I resisted. I told myself I had survived tough times alone, so why should anyone suggest I needed to change?  I saw myself as strong, but that strength became a barrier to connection.   It wasn't until I experienced setbacks, missed opportunities, and strained relationships that I started to listen. I realized that, although I intended to be helpful and driven, my energy often came across as controlling or disconnected. The gifts I offered weren't landing as I had hoped.   Looking back, I see how my perception of my actions often differed from how others experienced me.  That realization, though humbling, became a gift in itself. It taught me the importance of self-awareness and the value of feedback. Only by aligning my intentions with how others receive them can I offer the best version of my gifts, the kind that uplifts and connects rather than fractures.   How about you? Do others see your perceived gifts the way you see them?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Blame is a monster that keeps problems alive. When my relationships aren't going well, whether with friends, family, or coworkers, I don't want to point my finger. Instead, I turn to the person I see in the mirror. If I'm honest, the breakdown often starts with me, and that's where the solution lies.   I love talking to people, and over time, I've noticed that many relationships fall apart because of a lack of responsibility. It's hard to admit my flaws and even harder to change them. In our culture, it's almost second nature to expect others to change while we stay the same. But real growth requires self-reflection and effort.   Using a mirror as a symbol of self-examination is powerful. Mirrors show us how we appear to others, but more importantly, they reveal how we see ourselves, including the things we don't like or try to ignore. That's the essence of "The Man in the Mirror."  When I am willing to confront the truth about myself, I can begin to make meaningful changes.   Lasting change starts from within. Whether improving my personal habits, adjusting my attitude, or making a difference in society, I have to start by looking inward. As the songwriters Siedah Garrett and Glen Ballard expressed through Michael Jackson's iconic hit, the journey to transform the world begins with changing myself.   The song's message is about personal accountability. It asks us to take charge of our lives and become the change we wish to see. This idea isn't just for the lyrics of a song; it's a timeless truth reflected in literature, music, and everyday life.   Each morning, I stand in front of the mirror, I ask myself: What can I change today to build a better me?  Any small change I can make might just ripple out and create the change I hope to see in others.   How about you?  Do you want change to begin with others, or do you want to change the man you see in the mirror?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

As each new day begins, I ask: What will I trade for the next 24 hours?  Time is one of my most valuable commodities yet taking it for granted is so easy. I don't know how many days I have left, but too often, I treat them as if they were endless. What a mistake that is.   The truth is, my days are numbered, though I rarely think about it. Some days, I use my time wisely, investing in things like relationships, personal growth, or meaningful work. But other days, I squander it on distractions or routines that don't bring me closer to what I truly value.   It's sobering to realize that every day is a trade. I give up my hours, one by one, in exchange for something. The question is: What am I exchanging them for? Am I wasting them away, drifting through the day on autopilot? Or am I spending them intentionally, as if they were among my last?   Each sunrise presents a fresh opportunity. It reminds me that the time I have today is a gift, a chance to do something meaningful, no matter how small. Whether being present with loved ones, making progress on a goal, or simply practicing gratitude, how I use my hours matters.   Some trades are unavoidable. Life demands that we spend time on work, errands, and responsibilities. But even in those moments, I can choose to be mindful, doing them with purpose and presence rather than resentment or mindlessness.   The reality is, I don't get these hours back. Once today slips away, it's gone forever. This is why I need to be intentional, using time as a tool to create the life I want, not as something to be wasted.   So, as I begin this day, I remind myself, my time is fleeting. Use it well.  It's not about perfection but small, consistent choices, trading my hours for things that matter. And if I do that, no day will be wasted.   How about you? Are you spending your precious hours as if they will never expire?   Watch for the blind spots.     Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often feel trapped in worry, overwhelmed by situations beyond my control. My mind locks onto the problem, cycling through every possible scenario. In those moments, it feels impossible to see beyond the storm. Uncertainty makes it hard to imagine what might lie on the other side of my challenges. I'm not accustomed to thinking beyond my worries or picturing relief from struggles that haven't yet occurred.   That's where God's words of assurance, "joy comes in the morning,"  bring comfort and hope. This phrase from Psalm 30:5 says: "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." It reminds me that difficult seasons are temporary. Just as night eventually gives way to day, sorrow and hardship will make room for joy and renewal.   This message isn't about two opposing emotions, grief, and joy, coexisting. Instead, it reflects a natural progression: one emotion giving way to another. Even in the darkest times, there is always the promise that joy will return. The challenges I face, no matter how overwhelming, are not the end of the story. Relief will come.   Persevering through tough moments is hard, but this phrase encourages me to hold on, knowing that brighter days lie ahead. Every season of hardship, no matter how long or painful, will eventually pass. Like the morning light bringing a new day, life offers me opportunities to begin again, no matter what I've been through.   The phrase "joy comes in the morning"  also calls me to shift my perspective. It challenges me to trust that every difficult night will end, and hope has a chance to bloom with each new morning. The struggles I experience today don't define my future. If I hold on just a little longer, joy will meet me on the other side.   This scripture is not easy for me to understand or hold on to, but it holds the promise I seek.   So, the next time worry feels overwhelming, I will remind myself that joy always comes in the morning.   How about you? Can you hold onto that promise?   Watch for the blind spots.     Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

My mind is where thoughts, worries, fears, dreams, and tasks ricochet constantly. When these thoughts build up, it becomes hard to focus on essential matters. I’ve noticed that when anxiety takes over, my ability to think clearly and engage with intellectual or spiritual pursuits diminishes. It feels like anxiety rises at the expense of deeper reflection or problem-solving, an inverse relationship between worry and clear thinking.   I often think of clutter as a physical mess, piles of papers, unwashed laundry, or a chaotic workspace. But mental clutter is the hidden kind, the thoughts, and unresolved tasks we carry daily, quietly affecting how we function. Just like a messy environment makes relaxing hard, a cluttered mind disrupts inner peace and productivity.   Focusing on the present becomes difficult when my mind is full of unfinished tasks and unresolved emotions. I have found myself trying to read a book, only to find my mind drifting to errands or incomplete chores. That’s mental clutter in action, distracting me from being fully engaged. It drains focus and encourages procrastination, leading to poor performance in simple tasks.   Too many competing thoughts also make decision-making exhausting. Even small decisions like choosing what to do first can feel burdensome when my brain is overwhelmed. As a result, I may delay important choices or make hasty ones simply because my mental capacity is overloaded.   For me, mental clutter often includes unresolved emotions that linger in the background, like past regrets or future anxieties. Carrying these thoughts over time drains emotional energy, leaving me stressed, irritable, and disconnected from others. The more unresolved thoughts I carry, the harder it becomes to be present with others or enjoy life’s small moments.   I find journaling or writing my thoughts helpful for offloading my mental noise. Prayer and mental solitude also assist me in quieting the clutter. Looking at my priorities and focusing on them helps me let go of unnecessary commitments.   Mental clutter is unfinished business. Like a tidy home, I must declutter my mind to restore clarity and peace.   How about you? Do you suffer from a cluttered mind?   Watch for the blind spots.     Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Do you ever get reminders from your phone or computer to look back at old photos?  Or you could pull out an old album and flip through pictures from years gone by. What a wonderful surprise they can be! Those memories transport us back to times we sometimes forget, revealing moments that once brought us joy and connection.   Looking at those old photographs of ourselves, our children, family, and friends can be like taking a beautiful trip down memory lane. Whether it's a dusty photo album, digital pictures on your phone, or a memory jar filled with little notes, these keepsakes flood emotions. Without them, many memories would slip away, lost to time.   Think about the old black-and-white photos of loved ones or even old slides that show moments with people who've been gone for decades. They're far too important to forget, aren't they?  These pictures tell stories that could fade if we don't try to preserve them.   Cherished memories serve as a mirror, reflecting who we are, where we've been, and what truly matters. They tether us to the past and illuminate the path to our future.   Preserving memories isn't just about holding onto things—it's about keeping the feelings alive. Whether it's the love shared across generations, the laughter around a dinner table, or a quiet walk under a favorite tree, these moments shape who we are. And sometimes, a simple photo can tell an entire story without using a single word.   That's why I believe in building memories every day. The little moments I take for granted will be priceless treasures in the days and years ahead.   I cherish my moments now and find a way to preserve them through photos, letters, or storytelling. Years from now, I'll find that the memories I've kept aren't just pieces of the past. They're living, breathing parts of my heart, always reminding me of life's most precious moments.   How about you? Are you intentionally building memories?   Watch for the blind spots.     Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Being a therapist is, without a doubt, the most outstanding work I could ever do. Every day, I meet wonderful people, individuals searching for something better, striving to change their lives. And honestly,  even those who come in begrudgingly dragged in by others often start to change.   I bring enthusiasm to every session because I believe wholeheartedly in what I do. Years ago, during my struggles in my personal counseling, I distinctly remember hearing God's voice saying, "Take care of my people, and I will take care of you." I had gained so much insight into things I needed to change. This was my challenge to change careers. That moment gave me hope and a sense of purpose, and now I bring that energy to each client because I know it makes a difference.   For me, enthusiasm isn't just excitement; it's a deep passion that fuels everything I do. Enthusiasm, my secret weapon, the burst of positive energy that comes from genuinely caring and being fully engaged. I want my clients to feel that spark because enthusiasm is contagious!  My role is to assist them in identifying opportunities in the face of chaos and igniting that inner fire, so they start believing in themselves.   I enjoy watching people heal, not through something magical, but through their brave actions toward change. It takes real courage to face hard truths and look inward instead of blaming others.   When I see a spark of change in my clients, it's like watching a flower bloom. I get enthusiastic when people realize they can change  and start moving forward.   Every story holds the potential for transformation, and every breakthrough, big or small, is a victory. Setbacks?  That's no problem; they give us more insight into the next step.   Enthusiasm is the heartbeat of what I do, and when my clients start feeling it, that's when the magic happens.   I pray you are enthusiastic about your work and life. It is an essential ingredient in your success.   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

At my age, it's common to follow the usual retirement plan—traveling, golfing, fishing, and simply enjoying life. I genuinely like that idea but realize it can lead to giving up.   It's easy to stop challenging my mind, body, or other important aspects for maintaining good health. I remember a college debate about the existence of heaven. One person said, "The proof is in the older, wiser men and women who focus on their spiritual life." Someone else responded, "Yeah, they're just cramming for finals."   Maybe that's true for some, but I strongly desire to spend the next 20 years moving forward and making a difference. I've decided that my education isn't over, and the more I engage in learning, the better I become. Over the past two years, I've taken classes to build emotional, financial, spiritual, and social strength. These classes have inspired me to take on new challenges in life. I've also increased my physical exercise and improved my diet, positively impacting my outlook.   Don't get me wrong; I may have lost some speed and agility, but I'm committed to improving my mobility to stay active and keep moving forward.   My Drill Instructor told me in Bootcamp that I should be able to run half a mile— "straight up." I'm still working on that.   Whether some see it as cramming for finals or focusing on spiritual growth, I rely on the wisdom of scripture: "Teach us to number our days so that we may truly live and achieve wisdom. Let the favor of the Lord our God be on us; establish the work of our hands—yes, establish the work of our hands." (Psalm 90:12, 17)   I often feel tempted to rest and take the easy way out. The challenge is that my body will age, but I stay young in heart and spirit.   How about you? How old do you want to appear in your thoughts, feelings, and actions?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp