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I recently had to deliver some very disappointing news, which I don't enjoy doing even when I approach it with compassion. I fixate on the possibility of conflict and struggle to envision how things might feel once the conversation ends.   Too often, I stare into a negative future, anticipating an outcome I desperately want to avoid. It feels overwhelming, like a vast shadow obscures my ability to see beyond it. The sheer weight of the approaching problem, a talk, a test, a tough work situation, or a difficult relational issue can make imagining life on the other side seem impossible.   In these moments, I spiral into doubt, fear, and frustration. My mind clings to the "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios, amplifying the pressure. I resist the breakdown, viewing it as a sign of failure rather than a step toward growth. But over time, I've realized that these breakdowns are not the end of the story. They are, in fact, the beginning of something transformative.   Every breakdown is an invitation, a harsh, unkind one sometimes, but still an invitation to a breakthrough. When I hit a low point, when the discomfort becomes too much to bear, I am forced to look inward. In that space of vulnerability, I discover truths about myself: patterns that no longer serve me, beliefs that hold me back, and the resilience I didn't know I had.   For instance, facing a difficult conversation with a colleague once seemed insurmountable. I avoided it until the tension became unrelenting. But the moment I leaned into the discomfort and spoke my truth, I found clarity and strength. That breakthrough reshaped how I handle conflict.   Breakdowns strip away my comfort zones, leaving me exposed but ready for change. On the other side of every breakdown is an opportunity to grow, learn, and rebuild with new awareness. It's never easy, but the reward is undeniable: a stronger, wiser version of myself.   How about you?  When the breakdown comes, do you see it as the end, or is it a bridge to a breakthrough waiting to happen?   Watch for the blind spots.     🎄 This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp   Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯

Too many times, mistakes, tragedies, or violations have caused trauma in my life. It is easy to succumb to shame and guilt, paralyzing any effort to recover or move forward. I found it easier to disappear or hide from my mistakes for years. The silence felt safe, but it only solidified my negative emotions.   I've learned that healing requires courage and honesty. I find it essential to move forward by being forthright about what happened, whether it was my failure, or something inflicted upon me. Sharing my experiences openly has been incredibly liberating, and the phrase ' The truth will set you free'   deeply resonates with me.   Trauma affects everyone differently. Personal background and the severity of the event significantly affect how someone copes and heals. Severe trauma can feel almost impossible to let go of, but I've learned that denying or downplaying my pain only prolongs the healing process.   Validating my emotions without judgment has been a critical step forward. It's important to remind myself that feeling hurt, angry, or overwhelmed is natural and necessary. Acceptance doesn't mean condoning what happened but giving myself permission to move forward.   Therapy has been invaluable for my recovery, offering a safe space to process and rebuild. I've also found healing through connection—sharing with trusted friends, family, and support groups allows a safe environment to share my story.   Self-care has also played a vital role. Trauma disconnects me from my emotions, but grounding practices like mindfulness, yoga , (yes me doing yoga)  and journaling help me reconnect. Small acts of kindness toward myself, like rest, time in nature, or pursuing creative outlets, have been surprisingly transformative.   Trauma may alter my path, but it doesn't define my journey.  Helping others navigate their trauma and find new passions gives me purpose. Healing takes time and courage, but every small step is a victory. I have found I am more than my trauma. I am capable of joy, peace, and renewal.   How about you? Does trauma define your life?   Watch for the blind spots.   🎄  This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Stronger Relationships! 🎁 🌟 Let’s start building better relationships! 📚 Blind Spots in Relationships is on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million or click here to order: http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp Author Jerry D. Clark has faced life’s challenges and created strategies for success—he’s eager to share his insights with you! 🎯

My relationships thrive or wither based on how I respond to conflict. At their core, relationships reflect how well I understand and align with others. Yet, when disagreements arise, the instinct to blame others often leads to disconnection and decline. Shifting the focus from blame to personal responsibility can transform relationships, allowing them to flourish.   Blame feels easy. It absolves me of guilt and places the burden of change on someone else. I say things like, "They're too stubborn,"  or "They never listen."  These statements might feel validated at the moment, but they create walls instead of bridges. Blame drives me to dwell on the other person's flaws rather than reflect on how I might contribute to the problem or the solution.   On the other hand, relationships flourish when I take ownership of my actions, words, and reactions. It is counterintuitive to accept responsibility. Accepting responsibility doesn't mean accepting all the blame; it means being honest about my role in the dynamic and willing to change. For example, instead of accusing my partner of being distant, I might ask, "Am I showing them enough affection and understanding?"   This shift is powerful because it focuses on what I can control: myself. Personal growth and self-awareness inspire mutual respect. When I step up to improve myself, it often encourages others to do the same. This creates a positive cycle of growth, trust, and deeper connection.   Flourishing relationships require effort, humility, and courage. By focusing on how I can grow rather than trying to change others, I model the behavior I wish to see. When I own up in conflicts, I foster a safe space for open communication, making solutions more accessible and meaningful.   Ultimately, my relationships decline when I look outward for someone to blame but grow stronger when I look inward for ways to grow. Responsibility isn't a burden; it's the foundation for creating the love, harmony, and connection I crave.   How about you? Do you blame or accept your responsibility in the relationship?   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often ask , "How do I want others to feel about me when they are in my presence?” Or I ask, "What do I want someone close to me to say about me when talking to others?"   The good and bad news is that I will write the script  they use to talk about me.   Relationships are profoundly shaped by how we make each other feel. Too often, I might overlook how others perceive me, walking through life unaware of my words or actions on those around me. If I'm unknowingly pushing someone away, I risk damaging the relationship without realizing it.   This raises an essential question: “ How do I want you to feel about me when we're together?”   I must consistently embody these qualities to be seen as attractive, fun, delightful, truthful, and positive. But if I come across as a downer, sarcastic, or complainer, you won't feel good around me and will probably distance yourself. Your perception of me as intellectual, confident, kind, or thoughtful will only emerge if I intentionally create that experience for you.   The energy I bring into your life is powerful; it shapes how you see me and how our relationship evolves. When I help you feel safe, valued, understood, and inspired, you'll leave our time together feeling uplifted.   Do I make you feel seen, heard, and appreciated? Or do I unintentionally make you feel judged or insignificant?  These moments of connection, or disconnection, are the building blocks of our bond.   When I am intentional about the energy I bring, our relationship becomes a space of trust and growth. Instead of questioning, "What do they think of me?" I can shift to asking, "How can I make them feel valued right now?"  This effort creates a foundation of confidence, joy, and respect.   So, the question becomes, "How do I want you to feel about me when we are together?"     Whether I am aware of it or not, I will write the script  you will use to answer that question.   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Second Saturday  is  a monthly men's meeting at our church. We gather to enjoy pancakes, sausage, orange juice, and coffee and engage in devotion and faith stories for about an hour. This past Saturday, I looked around the room and saw men much wiser than me; I love hearing their stories of life and faith. I was thinking about the phrase "iron sharpens iron,"  which comes from the proverb, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." This metaphor highlights that I will grow stronger, wiser, and more skilled through interactions with others. Just as iron becomes sharper when honed against another piece of iron, my mind and character are refined when I connect with my Christian brothers.   Participating in his Wednesday men's meeting has grown my son tremendously. I love to see his growth in faith and confidence.   At its core, "iron sharpens iron"  is about mutual growth. Relationships that embody this concept are ones where both parties benefit, learn from each other, challenge assumptions, and provide constructive feedback. Each person offers unique strengths and insights in these partnerships, strengthening the other's weaknesses. This isn't about passive camaraderie but intentional, honest, and supportive relationships.   In practice, this sharpening can take many forms. In professional settings, colleagues could give each other honest feedback to improve their work. In personal relationships, it might involve friends or partners discussing their perspectives and pushing each other to be the best versions of themselves. The phrase comes to life in groups like Toastmasters, where people unite to enhance their communication skills. Members push each other to grow by offering insights, encouragement, and thoughtful critique.   "Iron sharpens iron" reminds me of the importance of surrounding myself with faithful Second Saturday guys. When I connect with these guys who share their commitment to growth in faith, I create a powerful cycle of learning and betterment. Embracing this principle can transform my relationships into spaces for growth, resilience, and mutual empowerment, making everyone more robust and capable. Regardless of my surroundings, I like to lead with faith in Christ.   How about you? Who do you use to sharpen you?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

As I was reading through the book of Galatians, I was reminded of the “Fruit of the Spirit.” By adhering to these values, I can dust off some old habits and focus on these old virtues. When cultivated in my life, these traits of excellence can profoundly enrich my existence. Although Christian in their origin, love, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control can be spread to all walks of life. What a wonderful existence we could experience if we all practiced these virtues. ❤️ Love exists in all cultures, yet not between all cultures. When I love unconditionally, I create deep and meaningful connections with people, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.   😃 Joy can be sourced despite my circumstances.   🕊️ Peace is necessary in our world of chaos and hate.   😇 Forbearance, or patience, helps me endure life’s trials and tribulations, making me more resilient and less prone to stress.   🎁 Acts of kindness benefit those on the receiving end and bring immense satisfaction to me as the giver.   🤟 Goodness encourages moral integrity and a desire to do what is right, leading to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.   🙏 Faithfulness signifies commitment and loyalty. It fosters trust in my relationships and reliability in my actions.   🏃‍♂️ Self-control empowers me to make wise choices and resist destructive impulses regardless of my circumstances. It gives me the strength to pursue long-term goals and desires while avoiding short-term temptations.   The “Fruit of the Spirit” represents a powerful framework for realigning my life. By embracing and cultivating these virtues, I can experience deeper connections in all my relationships.   How about you? Could you find renewal if you refocus on the fruit that enriches?   Watch for the blind spots. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships ! 🕶️✨  Uncover the hidden patterns that may be keeping you from the connections you truly want. Start transforming your relationships today! http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Today, I will be speaking at the League City Veterans Experience and Expression.   A tribute to those who have served our country.   It is an opportunity for me to thank the veterans of our community.    Our veterans left their homes, families, and everything familiar to them to protect our way of life. They have defended the freedoms we enjoy each day. But these freedoms are too often taken for granted and underappreciated.   The story of a veteran is one of courage. Each veteran accepts a path that is often uncertain, demanding, and filled with both triumphs and challenges.   For some, their internal battles did not end when they came home. Survivors’ guilt, letting go of the trauma, and the challenge of reintegrating into civilian life weighed heavily. The battlefield had become a reality, and transitioning back to peace was a journey for which there is no map.   To our veterans, you have given us more than we can ever repay. You left behind families, friends, and the comfort of the familiar to serve in ways many of us can scarcely imagine. Some of you returned to open arms, others returned to silence, and some of you are still fighting battles that only you understand. But please know this: we see you; we honor you, and we will always stand by you.   To the families of our veterans, we acknowledge your sacrifice as well. You have stood by your loved ones through the darkest moments, held onto hope when times were tough, and provided a foundation of strength. You are the unsung heroes in this story.   I want to remind each of you that today is not just about remembering our veterans; it’s about recognizing their enduring courage, their visible and unseen battles, and the stressors they carry with them long after their service ends.   I say to you, our veterans: we see you, honor you, and thank you for all you have done.     How about you? Is it easy to overlook the freedom supplied by veterans?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Blind spots are like a Mack truck barreling through your life—they reveal your weak spots, limitations, and can quickly humble your reactions.   I was remembering a conversation with a dear friend on the drive home from a weekend seminar. We reflected on the powerful experiences we’d encountered and insights we’d gained. Then, out of nowhere, my friend looked over and said, “You know, you have some very limiting beliefs.”   WHAAAAT?!   I felt an instant jolt of defensiveness. I immediately launched into rationalizing, justifying, and minimizing my behavior. But deep down, I knew: a blind spot had just been exposed.   Here’s what I realized from that moment, and what you can take away too— those parts of ourselves we deny or resist, they’re often the very clues pointing to our blind spots.   Start paying attention to what people say around you. Sometimes, the words we resist the most hold the truth we need to see. Our blind spots limit us, but they also reveal areas ripe for growth.   When you uncover your blind spots, you become more conscious of your strengths, areas of opportunity, and the boundaries that you are operating within so you can lean forward and build a better you.   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Looking back, my emotional immaturity in my younger years led me to gravitate toward people who accepted me rather than those who challenged me to grow. I didn't recognize my friends' influence on my choices and mindset. I wasn't spending time with the most ambitious or academically driven crowd. Instead, I settled for comfort and familiarity. I missed opportunities for personal growth and didn't develop much in my social, intellectual, or spiritual circles.   Through study and time, I've refined my approach to building emotional connections. Now, I seek out people I admire and look up to.   Jim Rohn's iconic quote, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,"  speaks volumes about the power of association. Essentially, it means that the people closest to me profoundly influence my thoughts, behaviors, and, ultimately, my success in life. Whether I realize it or not, I tend to absorb habits, attitudes, and beliefs from the people around me.   Think about it: if I'm surrounded by ambitious, optimistic people constantly striving for improvement, I'll naturally feel motivated to push myself. On the flip side, if my inner circle is negative or complacent, it can drag me down, making it harder to reach my goals. Rohn's message is a reminder to choose my circle wisely.   This quote isn't about ditching friends who might be struggling or having a tough time; it's about balance.  I surround myself with people who inspire and challenge me, share similar values, and believe in growth. I now seek out mentors, friends, or colleagues who encourage me to level up.   By creating a positive, growth-focused circle, I'm not just changing who I spend time with; I'm changing who I am and who I am becoming. After all, my environment shapes me more than I realize.   As Jim Rohn wisely suggested, if you want to become the best version of yourself, start by being intentional with who you allow into your inner circle.   How about you? Do your five best friends challenge you to be your best?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Saturday, I was at a college football game, my first in a while. Waiting in line for the restroom at half-time was quite the experience. I traveled past the restroom looking for the end of the line, I thought I'd reached it a few times, only to be told to go further back. With each step, I wondered if I'd make it in time. After finding the end of the line, I was happy to see it move. About 25 feet from the restroom door, an older gentleman and a boy who seemed to be his grandson slipped into line ahead of me. The young man looked embarrassed, and I felt a flash of irritation, especially given the situation's urgency. But when he turned to me with an apologetic expression, I softened. I spoke to him kindly, saying, "We're all trying to get somewhere; let's do it better together." He looked relieved, and though I'm not sure how others in line felt, no one complained. This moment reminded me how my behavior can impact others, often more than I realize. A simple smile can lift spirits, while a dismissive glance can dampen them. Holding the door open might inspire kindness, just as ignoring someone might breed indifference. Every action I take, every word I speak, adds a line to the example of my life. Authenticity makes a difference. When I am genuine and consistent, people notice. My sincerity resonates with others, reflecting a life grounded in truth. The beauty of being an example is that I can always revise it. I am not bound to my past actions; I can reshape my message with conscious effort. Each day is an opportunity to ask myself: What am I teaching the world today? What message am I sending through my example? How about you? Are you being the example you want to show others? Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Shame is a powerful emotion that disrupts both internal peace and relationships. It often arises from hurtful words, gestures, or ridicule by others. People may dismiss shame, telling us to “get over it,”  but its impact can damage self-worth and connection with others.   In my early years, I attended a small rural school in Tankersley, Texas, where some students came from the West Texas Boys Ranch, a home for boys displaced by family struggles. As a dependent child, the idea of living without my parents terrified me. The boys from the ranch, hardened by life, often bullied me. Emotional survival became my priority, and I adapted by avoiding conflict, pleasing others, and doing whatever it took to fit in.   When I later moved to a larger school, I faced a new challenge: comparing myself to wealthier, more intelligent classmates. In a misguided attempt to fit in, I acted grandiose, trying to mask my shame. It took time to realize my pretense wasn’t working, which deepened my feelings of unworthiness.   For years, I wrestled with the idea of not being “enough.”  But instead of blaming my past, I’ve chosen to confront it and focus on growth. Recognizing shame and the stories I tell myself has been crucial. Positive self-talk, rewriting those negative narratives, and acting as if the positive stories are true have helped lift my spirit. Shame created a sense of shyness, which was a circular concept of shame, then shyness, then shame, and so forth.   Unresolved shame created blind spots which manifested as anger, defensiveness, or pushing others away. I unknowingly harmed relationships through these behaviors, but persistence led me to healthier patterns.   The shadow of shame, like a toxin, deteriorates relationships and self-esteem. Shame is frequently unfamiliar. Seeking help with shame for me was transformative. This reflection isn’t a cure but an invitation to understand how shame impacts relationships and how addressing it can open the door to healing and connection.   How about you? Does shame play a negative role in your life?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Years ago, an older man joined our church. He’s long since gone to be with the Lord, but I’ve never forgotten him. The fascinating thing was how boldly he met people. He’d arrive early, dressed awkwardly, often with traces of his last few breakfasts on his tie. My immature self couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. But then my friend asked a question that stopped me cold: “I wonder how come God put this man in our lives, Jerry?”   That question challenged me. It opened my eyes and nudged me to see the situation differently. Though it’s been more than 30 years, the lesson still echoes whenever I’m tempted to judge or ridicule someone. After all, who knows what another person has been through?  We’re all walking mysteries shaped by the unique paths we’ve traveled, filled with losses, triumphs, and everything in between.   It’s easy to look at others and compare them to myself, forgetting that God didn’t create us to look, act, or think the same way. I was so focused on outward appearances and how someone dressed or fit into the “acceptable”  mold that I missed the more profound truth: God’s design is far more intricate than we see on the surface.   That older man’s life wasn’t a puzzle for me or a project to critique. What if the food-stained tie was just a detail from a difficult morning? What if his awkward manner hid burdens I couldn’t begin to understand?  His presence wasn’t random. It was a divine reminder that everyone we meet is on a sacred journey.   Today, I try to live with this truth in mind: Everyone I encounter walks a path I may never fully understand.  And really, the call isn’t to judge or compare but to show grace. I should see each person as God’s handiwork and show grace not critique. After all, grace is not just something to receive. Grace is something I am meant to extend.   How about you?  Are you judging or asking why God put this person in your life?   Watch for the blind spots. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp