Search Blog

It is easy to catch others doing things wrong. It is almost cultural. Children can grow up hearing more negative comments than positive ones. Have you ever been focused on how negative our conversations can be? Negativity can permeate a conversation, and without a balance of catching others doing things right and well, it can set a negative pattern in our lives. Individuals who expect the worst or are skeptical may feel better prepared for probable disappointments or avoid getting their hopes up. Interestingly enough, we naturally tend to pay more attention to negative information. Venting about problems or complaining about various aspects of life can offer a sense of catharsis, allowing individuals to relieve stress or momentary dissatisfaction. Expressing negativity can provide a temporary release of emotions and frustration. Engaging in conversations centered around complaints or criticism can create a sense of camaraderie as people bond over shared frustrations. In certain circles, this social reinforcement can make negativity appear more acceptable or desirable. While it's understandable why negativity can be more accessible and sometimes easier to embrace, it's important to recognize the potential pitfalls. Negativity can harm personal well-being, relationships, and overall outlook on life. It's crucial to strive for balance and actively cultivate positive thinking to promote mental and emotional well-being. Catching others doing things right and well is a great way to foster a positive and supportive environment. It will build self-esteem and confidence. Acknowledging people's efforts and achievements can boost morale, enhance teamwork, and encourage continued excellence. It can set the tone of the team or family. Paying attention to the actions and behaviors of those around us and noticing when someone goes above and beyond their usual responsibilities is an excellent opportunity to highlight them. Offering recognition as soon as possible shows you are attentive and appreciative of their efforts. Remember, catching others doing things right benefits and contributes to a supportive and high-performing work or social environment. Focusing on the positive and celebrating achievements can cultivate a culture of excellence and encourage continued success. How do you measure up acknowledging others doing things right or wrong? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone who could benefit from this post please share. Comment or like also, I appreciate your feedback. #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #letstacoboutit #communication #opportunity #success #people #culture #teamwork #environment #work #team #communicationiskey #letstalk #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips

Sometimes things are not what they appear to be. It is easy not to see what you are not looking for. I was recently reacquainted with Anthony, who was in our veterans' group for several years. He is an amazing man who served in the Gulf War and is disabled due to PTSD. I first met him when he brought his friend to the group. I'll call him Mr. B. I didn't know Mr. B was blind for the first few meetings. The group averaged about 25 per meeting, and he was quiet and reserved until we got to know him. His blindness was due to cataracts, and because of problems with his discharge, he could not receive VA benefits. His doctor told him he would be blind beyond repair if he didn't get these cataracts removed immediately. With no insurance or VA benefits, blindness was his permanent destination. Anthony reached out, not for himself, but for Mr. B. because the process for restoring his VA benefits was going to take too long to save his sight. Through the group's efforts, two doctors who heard his story, volunteered their services. The Lions Club paid for the surgery facility. Anthony was personally responsible for Mr. B's new sight. He stuck by his side, oftentimes lacking in gas money, he drove Mr. B. to all his appointments, and made certain he attended the Thursday evening veterans' support group. This is only one of the things Anthony has unselfishly done to help others. He is the first to volunteer and recently spent countless days assisting the victims of the recent tornado in Pasadena. He is an example of sacrifice, and selfless serving. I was just apprised of his reaching out for help for himself. I had no idea he was suffering in his own home, which was in desperate need of repairs during the years he was involved with our veterans' group. This humble VETERAN deserves the best from us. I have reached out to several organizations for their support and am attaching his humble appeal for assistance. Please offer Anthony your prayers for a safe home for him, his daughters, and his mother. If you have the resources to assist him, please support him. Watch his video and be led by your heart. This man is legitimate. Here is the link for his gofund.me. https://gofund.me/7709ce93 Sometimes we have things going on in our backyard and we don't even know it. Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could help or support, share this post. I appreciate you getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #checkenginelight #checkengine #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #gofundme #gofundmecampaign #giveback #payitforward #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #networkingdonedifferent

Indecision is the greatest thief of opportunity. ~Jim Rohn Indecision refers to a state of hesitation or uncertainty. It is a common human experience that can arise from various factors, such as conflicting options, fear of making the wrong choice, lack of information, or personal doubts. Here are some ideas to help you avoid getting bogged down by indecision and missing out on opportunities: Identifying the cause of hesitation can be a great place to start. Is it conflicting options or fear of the outcome? Is it a need for more information? Information can lead to clarity. Does it positively meet your core beliefs? Does it fit with your long-term goals or aspirations? What do my trusted friends say about this? Is it conflicting with your intuition and my logical reasoning? When I face indecision, my anxiety goes up and my intellect goes down. Obtaining as many facts as possible is crucial to causing my intellect and emotions to be in balance. I want to write copiously as I try to figure out the answers to these four questions. 1) What do I know about this decision? 2) What do I not know about this decision? 3) What can I do about this decision? 4) What can I not do about this decision? The more I write, the clearer it is to me what to do. Indecision is a normal part of the decision-making process. It's okay to consider your options, but it's essential to choose and move forward at some point. Are you indecisive? Is it threatening your opportunity? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #indecision #decide #choosewisely #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferently #businesscoaching

This is a relationship-building question that often needs to be answered with more honesty. I often witness what is "not being said" as a major contributor to the demise of a relationship. Relationships drift off course due to poor communication. Communication is essential in any relationship, and when it declines or becomes less regular or meaningful, it can lead to feelings of distance and disconnection. As we grow and evolve, our priorities and interests may change. If both parties in a relationship prioritize different things or pursue different paths, it can create an unconscious sense of overlooking the necessity to keep communications fresh and ongoing. Busy schedules, demanding careers, and other responsibilities can consume significant time and energy, leaving less room for nurturing relationships. Emotional changes, such as personal growth, shifts in values, or evolving beliefs, can impact a relationship. If individuals don't address or communicate these changes over time, this can cause a "gradual drift". Sharing experiences and activities help foster a sense of connection and shared interests. When individuals stop engaging in these activities or don't create new ones, it can contribute to a "silent drift". Open and honest communication, quality time together, and mutual effort are key factors in navigating and overcoming poor communication. So, the real opportunity in a healthy relationship becomes talking about what is not being said. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excellent, what value would you give communications in your significant relationship? What are you not saying or asking that is left unspoken? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #communication #communicationiskey #letstalk #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #businesscoaching

Ugh that pesky "little light." Did it make you pause and cause a little anxiety?You have already got enough going on, right?! Now this?! Acting out of my anxiety is what I call “going out of control to gain control.” Have you ever gone out of control to gain control? I have many times and didn’t know it. My intentions had to do with controlling others or a situation in which I had no control. I sometimes say God did not give me a “check engine” light. If I did have a check engine light that showed my anxiety is overriding my intellect, it would be easy for me to recognize, disengage, and be sure that I do not cause more damage to myself, the other person, or the relationship. When I feel stressed or attacked, it brings rise for me to need to get bigger and louder. Going out of control to gain control takes me out of the logical, rational part of my brain. It ensures I will become much less "emotionally mature" and feel I must resort to "survival mode." Now I recognize God did give me a “check engine light.” Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. I can begin to seek self-control and identify what is going on with my body, and mind. I have to remember the only thing I have control of is me. Keep looking for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #checkenginelight #checkengine #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #networkingdonedifferent

Ralph and Robin were reminiscing over their past relationship experiences and discussing the progress they had made. Robin mentioned how she used to feel controlled by Ralph. Ralph laughed and was reminded of his terrible blind spot that was so unconscious to him but so apparent to Robin. His laughter was new because he didn't have to deny her experience as he used to. When the need for control in a relationship leads to a power struggle, it can undermine trust, autonomy, and the overall health of the relationship. If one partner feels the need to control the other, it implies a lack of trust and confidence in their choices and abilities. The power of control introduces feelings of resentment and lack of personal satisfaction for the partner who is being controlled. It also prevents personal growth, independence, and self-expression. Exploring and addressing the underlying reasons behind the power of control is beneficial. It may involve personal insecurities, past experiences, or a lack of confidence. Individual self-reflection can be a valuable tool in working through these challenges and fostering a healthier dynamic. However, some individuals may need to have power and control based on their past experiences. It can provide a sense of security and stability. Having control in a relationship may work well for some because it can create predictability and organization, which can be comforting in the relationship. A desire to be in control can also arise from a strong sense of responsibility and a desire to make thoughtful decisions that are in the best interest of the relationship. This works best when both partners are involved in the decision-making process and share a similar vision of their relationship. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, it is important to strike a balance between individual autonomy and shared decision-making. Open communication, trust, and mutual respect are crucial, it creates the power of love that is needed for both. Do you experience the power of control greater than the power of love? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. #thepoweroflove #powerofchoice #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching

I hear this comment too often, “I’m walking on eggshells.” This term indicates there is a delicate, tense, or volatile relationship. It implies a disconnect in communication and is a setup for degradation. The person who is easily irritated, highly sensitive, or prone to overreacting is preparing others for the experience of “walking on eggshells” and is usually unconscious of it. [Blind Spot] The person who is negatively influenced aggravates the issue by tolerating it. These relationships will self-destruct, and neither party will recognize their role in their demise. When walking on eggshells is evident in relationships, I suggest the behavior cease immediately. The person walking on eggshells must have a voice to call the other person out and break the barrier. I know this is easier said than done, yet the results are more catastrophic by living with the negative experience. If you can’t challenge this situation, I suggest you seek assistance. Walking on eggshells can indicate an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship or environment. On the other hand, relationships without the eggshell barrier yield healthy, open communication, empathy, and understanding, reducing the need for such caution and fostering an environment where people can express themselves freely without fear. Have you ever felt the need to walk on eggshells? Watch for the blind spots. Please like, share and comment. I appreciate your feedback. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching #walkingoneggshells

We do not have to make a decision for change to happen. It happens with or without our consent. While every relationship experiences change, not all relationships experience growth. Why? Because growth is optional, it only happens with our consent. That is why we keep looking for our blind spots. Remember…change is inevitable, growth is optional. Like, comment and share this post. I appreciate your feedback. If you haven't grabbed a copy of the book, get it below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #change #changeisgood #changeyourmindset #changeisinevitable #changemakers #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #networkingdonedifferent

In my practice, I notice families are fractured by their many differing points of view. Some are more focused on themselves than the family. Unity and cohesion are missing. They start to blame, condemn, and become critical in their perception of family members and situations. [Blind Spot] When this arises, I like the idea of utilizing the “spirit of the family.” The “spirit of the family” might be words like respect, peace, harmony, joy, love, care, or any word that the family could rally around to encourage and create solidarity. When the constructive idea of the “spirit of the family” comes along, there is a choice in the way the family interacts, communicates, perceives, and feels toward one another. Knowing that with every breath, and every word spoken, we are intentionally choosing the potential outcome of family members to feel safe, secure, and healthy. The “spirit of the family” creates a household where we, “stop examining ‘them’, and start examining ourselves.” Keep looking the blind spots. Please like, share and comment, I appreciate your feedback. If you want to explore more ways to discover your blind spots, grab the book today. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching

Knowing the contents of the Bible, God’s Word propels me into living a wonderful life. It is the best playbook I have ever studied and drawn on. Based on where I am in my life, the meaning, or the contents of the Bible speaks to me differently. Take this example: Paul was able to find joy in prison. He did not get bitter, but rather he wrote about his joy! Hearing this in my early life was inconceivable to me. How is that even possible? Paul said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through…” Today, I see that there are many ‘prisons’ I find myself in where I too can choose joy. That means I need joy, when I am stuck in traffic, waiting on someone, feeling like I don’t have control, or in disagreement with someone I love. Don’t get locked in a prison-like state of mind—stuck within a trial that ‘appears’ to be closing in. [Blind Spot] I like the following quotation from Darren Hardy’s podcast Darren Daily, “I can find my way through, change my frustrations into fascinations and be joyful.” Keep looking for the blind spots. Please like, share and comment, I appreciate your feedback. If you want to explore more ways to discover your blind spots, grab the book today. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching

"Life functions best when I strive to build a better me." Building a better you doesn't happen overnight. Changing a few small actions or behaviors daily can create successful new habits. Believe in yourself! Keep looking for the blind spots. Please like, share or comment. I appreciate your feedback. If you would like to learn more about exposing blind spots grab your copy of the book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself

Have you ever noticed that, at times, people will make a comment to us that doesn’t fit at all? It is easy for someone to blame us for things we didn't do or think about. Sometimes, a person making false accusations with no merit is just projecting onto us. The projection here refers to the psychological phenomenon where an individual ascribes their thoughts, feelings, or characteristics to another person. It involves attributing one's desires, fears, or beliefs to someone else, often without considering whether those attributes are accurate or present in the other person. This is frustrating at best because it is not easy to prove or convince someone that their claim is false. It can often seem impossible, and the repercussions can be disastrous. Projection can occur in various ways within relationships. Look at these examples: If an individual feels angry or insecure, they may accuse their partner of being angry or unfaithful without any evidence. A person with low self-esteem may project their negative self-image onto their partner, believing that they are too good for them or that they will eventually leave. If someone has been hurt or betrayed in the past, they may project their fears of being hurt again onto their current partner, even if there is no evidence to suggest that their partner would engage in similar behavior. Projection has a significant impact on relationships and can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of trust between partners. Individuals need to become aware of their projections and engage in self-reflection to differentiate between their thoughts, feelings, and experiences and those of their partner. Acting in this manner is the pinnacle of emotionally mature behavior. Addressing and resolving projection-related difficulties requires open and honest communication, empathy, and self-awareness. Wow! It is a prevalent behavior and such a BIG blind spot. Are you familiar with this concept? It is difficult to recognize projections coming from ourselves. Watch for the blind spots. Please like, share or comment. I appreciate your feedback. If you would like to learn more about exposing blind spots grab your copy of the book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #InsecurityKills #insecurity #Shame #blame #blamegame #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching