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So, the year was 2022, and it was January. My book, Blind Spots in Relationships, What I Don't Know I Don't Know About, Myself, was released. This is a self-published book through Amazon and sales immediately began to rise. I was excited and enthusiastic about getting the word out in order to alleviate the emotional pain, financial burden, and fear that children experience when their family unit is destroyed. I have also seen too many careers jeopardized as a result of poor relationships. More important than selling books, I wanted the message to get out so that individuals might recognize and develop new relationship opportunities—couples, parent-child, business relationships, extended families, and so on. I set out to speak to civic clubs, podcasts, churches, schools, and other places to spread the word. WHAT! Just because you publish a book doesn't mean the world is out there to buy it. This being my first adventure of writing my book, was like setting out on a journey, not knowing where I was going or how I was going to get there. I have had to laugh many times and the things that I have been able to learn over the past 1 1/2 years. Trilogy Christian Publishing released my book early in 2023. Being an International Christian publishing company, this was the booster rocket that would propel this movement over the top. [Blind Spot] WHAT! Again, even though a publishing company is marketing this book, sales still didn't go over the top. I was talking to a friend who has recently retired from an aerospace company and is forming a new business independently. He said it had taken years for his new business to take off, but now it seems to be flourishing. His statement was, "You have to play in a lot of dive bars before hitting the big time." (He is also a musician) This truly resonated with me. Not that we are playing in any dive bars, but the concept was powerful. Kel Majors is doing the graphics and marketing for my book. Her work has been tireless and highly effective as she illustrates these posts and provides research and organization for our future. We have launched this book and these posts on a wing and many prayers with the idea that God will accomplish His purpose as He has told me to get this message to the masses. Our job is to be faithful and continue the process as we are guided. How about you? Have you ventured into the unknown, on a wing, and prayed with the idea that God’s got this? It is indeed an adventure. Live boldly! We only get one time around in this life. What is God inspiring you to do? Are you allowing your limiting beliefs to thwart your progress? [Blind Spot] Are you playing in enough dive bars? Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #divebar #experience #experiencematters #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #dothingsright #NetworkingDoneDifferent #businesscoaching #relational #limitingbelief

Happy belated Mother’s Day to all mothers! It is never too late. I heard this a couple of days ago. I am still determining the validity of this story, but I love it anyway. One day young Thomas Edison came home from school with a sealed note from his teacher. He was instructed only to give it to his mother and do it as soon as he entered the house. He found his mother and did as he was requested. His mother opened the envelope and began reading. Her eyes started to fill with tears as she read the letter. Young Thomas hesitantly asked what it said. His mother wiped her eyes, looked proudly at her son, and said, "It says, 'Your son is a genius, and this school is too small for him and doesn't have enough good teachers to train him properly. Please teach him yourself.'" Edison, as you know, became one of the greatest inventors in history. Many years later, after his mother had passed, he was going through an old closet in his family home, and in it, he found the old envelope that contained the letter that he had given to his mother so many years ago. He opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. The note said, “Your son is mentally ill, and we cannot let him attend our school anymore. He is expelled.” Edison became emotional while reading it, and later that evening, he wrote in his diary; Thomas Edison was a mentally ill child whose mother turned him into a genius. That is the magical power of a mother's love. A mother's belief can turn what could have been a delinquent into a genius, a creator, a contributor, a person who ends up having a profound impact on the life of billions of people. All of this occurred by the power of love and belief. Mothers have a magical ability to instill confidence in us. Though we can believe we are ordinary, mothers are the ones who show us how extraordinary we actually are. The longer I live, the more I appreciate mothers. They work tirelessly and without us having a clue, sacrifice and give up things for themselves so we, as their children, don't go without. I love my mom and miss her dearly. I hope your moms were recognized for all they did for you without you even knowing it. It is never too late. Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. Get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #Mothersday2023 #mothersday #mothersdaybrunch #mother #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #empathymatters #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #therapy

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, and forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 God’s grace is free and abundant. We pay no price, nor can we earn it. It is freely given. Grace in relationships refers to extending kindness, forgiveness, and understanding to others, even when they may not deserve it. It involves approaching interactions with empathy and compassion and striving to maintain a positive and respectful demeanor, even in the face of conflict or disagreement. My friends Ralph and Robin are as human as they come. They practice great things and suffer from their own mistakes, as we all do. Both have been hurt by the other’s mistakes, choices, and failures. The beauty of their relationship is they are still extremely gracious to each other. Just as God’s grace is unearned, Ralph and Robin apply this in their relationship. It is impressive when one shows the other grace, how the other wants to step up and show their love and appreciation in return. It has been my experience that the more couples lean on God, the more solid and healthy their relationship becomes. When practicing grace in relationships, we strive to avoid judgment and criticism and instead aim to listen and understand the perspectives of others. We are willing to acknowledge our own faults and shortcomings and work to make amends when necessary. Grace in relationships can profoundly impact the quality of our connections with others. It can help foster trust, deepen emotional intimacy, and create a sense of mutual respect and admiration. It can also facilitate healthy conflict resolution and promote forgiveness and healing in times of strife. Ultimately, practicing grace in relationships requires a willingness to prioritize the well-being of others and to approach interactions with kindness, compassion, and understanding. By doing so, we cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections with those around us and contribute to a more harmonious and peaceful relationship. How are you showing grace? I know it is something I can continue to work on. How about you? Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. Get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #communication #communicationiskey #marriage #selfempowerment #fridayinspiration #changeyourmindset #changeyourlife #mindset #thinking #Grace #graceupongrace #GraceofGod #mindovermatter #kindness #empoweryourself #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #resetyourmind #Friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #leadershipcoaching #buildabetteryou

My friends Ralph and Robin have been hurt and in pain for the last 2 to 4 years. They have very young and challenging children, and most of their focus and attention at home involves raising them. Young children have many needs and wants. Appeasing them can be intrusive to a marriage. The emphasis shifts to the children, and the pursuit of their marital connection takes a back seat after some time. It is a slow and deadly erosion, and because of this, their relationship grows cold. Together they sought an outsider's view of their circumstances. They knew that letting go of relational pain would be challenging but essential in moving forward and finding healing. They looked for sage advice and support. Having someone to listen, initiate new strategies, and provide comfort and encouragement was difficult but helpful to hear. They began to focus on the following: They started to express and feel the emotions connected to the suffering, such as differing parenting methods, feeling unpursued, despair, or disappointment, in a healthy way rather than trying to hide or reject their feelings. This was done by talking about themselves and not the other. "I'm frustrated; I'm confused; I'm hurt; I do not feel pursued." Acknowledging rather than holding or stuffing pain can provide necessary relief. Initiating self-care by attending to themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, exercising, practicing prayer, mindfulness, and meditation. Practicing forgiveness. This is not about condoning the other person's behavior but rather about releasing themselves from the anger and resentment they were holding. This involves writing a letter to the person or simply letting go of the negative emotions associated with the relationship. Focusing on the present and refusing to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Instead, focus on the present moment and the things they can control. Remember, letting go of relational pain is a process that will take time. Be patient with yourself and continue to take steps toward healing and growth. Are you now, or have you in the past experienced this Ralph and Robin story? There is still time to go back and implement the items listed above. Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #russelltomlinson #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #dothingsright #NetworkingDoneDifferent #businesscoaching #relational

Empathy is a critical component of healthy and fulfilling relationships. It involves the ability to understand and share another person's feelings, which can help build trust, intimacy, and emotional connection. It is like being in their skin, thoroughly allowing and appreciating their experiences. We are so different and sometimes feel that everyone sees and processes experiences just as we do. [Blind Spot] Being in another's shoes is not enough. Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy is the formal expression of pity or sorrow for someone else's misfortune. In relationships, empathy can help partners feel seen, heard, and understood. When someone is going through a difficult time, expressing empathy can provide comfort and support, strengthening the bond between partners. Similarly, when someone is happy or excited, sharing their joy through empathetic listening and conversation can help them feel valued and appreciated. "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it." ~ Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Empathy requires effort and attention. It involves actively listening and tuning in to body language and nonverbal cues. It bears repeating; empathy is putting oneself in another person's skin to understand their perspective. Sometimes, it can be difficult to empathize with a partner's emotions, especially if they are feeling upset or angry. In these situations, it's essential to remain calm, patient, and nonjudgmental to create a safe and supportive space for them to share their feelings. Using gently curious questions and not fixing them is also helpful. Overall, empathy is a vital component of healthy relationships. By cultivating empathy, partners create a more profound sense of emotional intimacy and connection, which help them navigate the challenges and joys of life together. Want to improve your relational connection? On an empathy scale of 1 to 10, give yourself a rating. Regardless of what rating you gave, what can you do to move the rating up just half a point? Healthy relationships take work. Are you coasting? Watch for the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. You can get a your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #empathy #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #empathymatters #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshiprevolution #russelltomlinson #relationshipcoach #therapy

Stress in relationships is a common phenomenon that can arise for various reasons. It can be caused by external factors such as financial issues, job-related stress, health problems, parenting disagreements, and many more. Stress can also be induced by internal factors such as communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and differences in expectations or values. Robin and Ralph, my favorite couple, have been struggling with financial stress. Like many couples, this can get out of control quickly. They are both aware of it, but neither is talking about it. Whenever other issues arise, like problems with the children or work, both are very short-fused and quickly get into an argument. The source of the argument is their unresolved financial issue, but disagreements appear, masking the real problem. Because they cannot see the real source, stress permeates their thinking and behavior. [Blind Spot] This financial stress is harming them. As witnessed in their current struggles, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and resentment resulting in a relationship breakdown if left unaddressed. They fear bringing it up will cause worse problems, so the finances go unaddressed. [Blind Spot] This is a classic situation where it's not what we say, it is what we don't say that causes relationship problems. It is a perfect time to tell each other what they think about this haunting issue. For some reason, this conversation is avoided. I'll let you guys apply their stories to your own lives. When issues go unresolved, we set our relationships up for degradation, if not failure. Talking is the key to reducing stress, and facing problems as a team rather than enemies can facilitate resolution. When managing stress in relationships, it is essential to identify the root cause and communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Ultimately, managing stress in relationships requires effort and commitment from both partners, as well as a willingness to communicate to find solutions and overcome challenges. How about you? Are there masked situations in your relationships that are causing stress and resentment? What is not being said that needs to be said? Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #communication #communicationiskey #marriage #selfempowerment #fridayinspiration #changeyourmindset #changeyourlife #mindset #thinking #MindOfChrist #mindovermatter #empoweryourself #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #resetyourmind #Friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #leadershipcoaching #buildabetteryou

[Anger or bitterness at having been treated unfairly.] Resentments in relationships are the accumulation of negative feelings you have toward your spouse, boss, employee, teammate, stepchild, stepparent, or others that stem from unresolved acts, deeds, conversations, or unmet needs. Without a resolution, these resentments accumulate and silently deteriorate the relationship, creating distance over time. Vulnerability ceases to exist due to trust being broken. I call resentments rust in relationships. Just as a fine piece of steel can be damaged if neglected and allowed to rust, so are resentments in relationships. As they arise, they begin to corrode closeness and understanding. It is a terrible blind spot to uncover because it feels so justified when someone is causing you emotional or physical pain. Like any adjective that describes a person, resentment is on a continuum from mild to chronic. A sad person can be a little sad or debilitated. An angry person can be slightly angry or enraged. Resentments can be large or small. Robin resents Ralph because he leaves his dishes in the sink or he will not stop texting the woman at work. The real problem happens when both parties in a relationship collect resentment toward the other. When one causes the other pain, it is easy to feel justified in becoming bitter and add to the resentment bag that we so smugly carry. Usually, resentments happen when someone's needs are conveyed, and they go unattended. After a few failures to get their point across, the attempt to get a resolution gets dropped from the conversation, but it gets added to the resentment bag. Resentments are created and resolved through communication. Failure to communicate resentments effectively is their source, and healthy conversation can reduce and even eliminate them. Here is an example of unhealthy communication. On the way home from a party, Robin and Ralph are silent. Both are telling themselves a story like this: Robin: "He did not speak to me tonight." Ralph: "I don't know what is happening with her, but I must steer clear." Here is an example of healthy communication. On the way home from a party, Robin and Ralph are silent. Robin begins to share "the story I'm telling myself" with Ralph: Robin: "I am hurt by your ignoring me tonight. I want something very different because it speaks to me that I no longer matter, and Ralph, that is not acceptable. I love you and care too much to be treated that way. I remember and long for how you used to treat me." Ralph: "Thanks for sharing that. I thought you were mad at me and I was giving you space. If I could do it again, I would have asked what you needed from me." When shared, "the story I'm telling myself" can be a powerful tool for preventing and resolving conflicts. When I share "the story I'm telling myself," it clears the air. Oh, what a difference it makes to clear the air, stop the assumptions, and operate from the facts. It is easy and even cultural to collect resentments, don't let rust take a foothold and begin corroding your relationships. Start with what stories you are telling yourself. Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #energy #energyhealing #marriage #selfempowerment #fridayinspiration #changeyourmindset #changeyourlife #mindset #thinking #MindOfChrist #mindovermatter #resentment #empoweryourself #bayharbourumc #RussellTomlinson #relationshiprevolution #Friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #leadershipcoaching #buildabetteryou

Robin and Ralph have been married for 15 years and notice they have gotten comfortable majoring on each other's minuses. It is easy to let the compliments and pursuits fall by the wayside as time together accumulates. It is excellent that they are looking at this now. Is it customary for us to catch people doing things right and well, either at home or away? When someone does something extraordinary, it's easy to compliment, do, or say something positive. We expect good behavior and actions from people. But when they are continually doing things right and well, it can become mundane and easy to miss, making the focus now on what they are doing wrong. Think about young children growing up. How much negativity do they hear or experience? Of course, children must be corrected and reminded of their well-being and safety. We work with them on correcting what is wrong and unhealthy. But I often wonder if I balance catching the wrong as well as catching them doing things right and well. We all need wins under our belt. I can especially be hard on myself and forget, "Do I catch myself doing things right, or am I my own worst critic? Do I celebrate my wins enough?" [Blind Spot] Spending so much time on the road, "Do I compliment drivers if I'm on the highway and they drive at the speed limit? Do I compliment them if I'm on the freeway and the slow traffic is in the right-hand lane? Do I compliment those who signal to change lanes and warn me of their intentions?" [Blind Spot] It goes without saying if I feel threatened on the roadway, I will do whatever it takes to escape harm. Those kinds of drivers are prevalent. I have noticed when I'm in a hurry or anxious about something, I am the most critical of others; this could be about their driving or mannerisms at home or in the office. [Blind Spot] When I am anxious, I don't see others do much of anything right, well, or worth complimenting. But it's interesting how I change and become much kinder and even more tolerant when things are going well, and I feel good about myself. [Blind Spot] How about you? Are you nervous Nelly, or anxious Andy? Are you looking for opportunities to catch people doing things right and well and compliment them? This is certainly something I can do more of; we all need to be caught doing things right and well. Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #russelltomlinson #relationshipcoach #therapy #familyfirst #dothingsright #NetworkingDoneDifferent #relationships #businesscoaching #personaldevelopment

I had the opportunity to be a guest speaker on “Networking Done Different” with Sara Blumenfeld. It was a pleasure to share on “Blind Spots in Relationships” and we touched on many of the principles and concepts to identify and expose blind spots. You can watch the episode by clicking below or here: https://youtu.be/Q3ivRK5JBME "Networking Done Different” offers techniques, processes, and interviews to expand your business and your life. Sara Blumenfeld has been a personal development coach and teacher since 2005. Her philosophy is that everyone has greatness in them, and clearing away the patterns and clutter picked up along life’s path can allow that greatness to shine. She also helps businesses examine and shift perceptions and ways of approaching challenges in order to thrive. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. You can get a your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #family #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshiprevolution #russelltomlinson #relationshipcoach #therapy #familyfirst #NetworkingDoneDifferent #relationships #businesscoaching #personaldevelopment

[The feedback definition in this scenario is to provide information regarding a person's reaction to their words or actions to improve the relationship.] Ralph and Robin are discussing replacing her car with a newer one. Ralph becomes agitated and explains his point of view with every comment Robin makes. She gets frustrated, and he continues to be right and combative while she tries to make her point during this 30-minute conversation. Frustrated, Robin drops the "feedback bomb," "You don't ever listen. You are a know-it-all." We know his next comment, "No, I'm not." Both feel justified and have valid points of view. Robin attempts to tell Ralph that he is challenging to talk to when discussing serious financial matters. Ralph feels attacked and becomes defensive. This locks up any opportunity to solve replacing her car and change to a different subject altogether. Now the conversation is about who is right. Ralph has missed an excellent opportunity for great feedback, and she feels restrained because she only wants him to understand her frustration. Rather than defending himself, he passed up an opportunity to be the hero of this story, despite his disagreement with her. His words—" You are right, Robin. I sometimes feel bad when we can't get the car you want." or "Can we start over or take a break and reconvene a little later?"—would have made it about him not blaming Robin. Robin's attempt to give feedback could have been better formulated and less critical. She could have said, "I get frustrated and don't know how to get my point across when our emotions escalate?" This makes the issue about her, not Ralph, and shows that she is considering her emotions rather than blaming them. Feedback is an opportunity for growth and connection. If it is said with angst, it will be met with angst. If it is said in a strategic and meaningful way, it can be heard in a manner that provides connection. To step back and become gently curious about her feedback would give both a chance for understanding. It's crucial to consider the outcome after offering feedback. Do I want to criticize and express my discontent, or do I want to present feedback that leads to connection and understanding? When I need to be defensive and attack, can I pause, get out of my emotional self, and look for ways to de-escalate the conversation? Healthy relationships require feedback, and it takes practice to master it. Whether giving or receiving feedback, it is critical to do it in a manner to foster growth, not negativity. Are you good at giving and receiving feedback? Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share these posts. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #bayharbourumc #russelltomlinson #marriageadvice #mindset #feedback #feedbackmatters #feedbackwelcome #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #resetyourmind #buildabetteryou #thankfulwednesday #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdaymotivation #WednesdayThoughts #people #choices #choicesmatter

—an area where a person's ability to see other people's reactions is hindered or where a person lacks understanding— I have been writing about blind spots for quite some time. I want to review a few examples of not being able to recognize blind spots in relationships: Feeling distance or lack of closeness Feeling "cut from the herd." Not feeling confident and not knowing why Remember, blind spots are what we say and do that push people away, and we don't recognize why. I may feel totally validated in my conversation but am entirely ignorant of how I am presenting. Take, for instance, the Know-It-All—If I am accused of being a know-it-all, I may be showing up as having all the answers, giving rebuttals for all my reasons, being intrusive, and interrupting the conversation. I create an unpleasant atmosphere for others who don't know it. Being incessantly right is another, and like the know-it-all, I can argue others into oblivion. I can rationalize, minimize, and justify anything. This is my inability to accept criticism or another person's viewpoint without allowing it to make me feel inferior, guilty, or ashamed. From always being late or too chatty, to not standing up or belittling myself or others, blind spots can create quite a destructive path. Blind spots may only occur a small percentage of the time, but they are annoying enough to make a huge difference. When my blind spots are obvious to others, they can help me recognize or endure them. I have seen it in my practice; blind spots are endured for decades, years, months, weeks, hours, or just a few moments. It depends. Sometimes we meet someone and are immediately turned off by their character, whether it is their words or actions. I had seen poor behavior endured in marriages for decades before they were dealt with either through changing disruptive behavior or the finality of divorce. Often, people give up trying to bring out something limiting our effectiveness in relationships, especially when we continually dismiss, deny, or justify it when it is pointed out. What a waste of living. Blind Spots are countless. To make matters complicated, we do not all have the same ones, but there should be a drive in us to always seek them out. We won't find them all, but together the journey is incredibly healthy and emotionally maturing. Keep exposing the blind spots. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. You can get a your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #family #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshiprevolution #russelltomlinson #relationshipcoach #therapy #familyfirst

Robin was having a dreary day. This was odd because she generally began her day with vigor. She decided to take a mental health day, rest, relax, and see if she could return to her former self because she was feeling rundown. Ralph returns home from a long commute and day of work to find the house in a mess. He has little tolerance for this disarray but clenches his jaw and does not say anything initially. He had anticipated that Robin would welcome him home and the two would have a nice evening together. As he continues gaining evidence about things that did not get done or that were not done well, he finally expresses his exasperation to Robin, "Looks like you had a productive day today." "Ouch," Robin feels the bite of his words and stays quiet. Robin had anticipated that Ralph would return home and support her. Ralph continues with a laugh and says, "What's the matter? Can't you take a joke?" Robin is not in a joking mood. After all, he didn't know her day was miserable or even question if anything could happen to her. He was not thinking of her feelings or her experience of the day. He was in his world. [Blind Spot] Ralph uses sarcasm as a passive-aggressive means of expressing his discontent. He made his first error in assuming that Robin simply sat around doing nothing. His second mistake was to express it with sarcasm. Asking ourselves what our expectations are and conveying them to another is a great way to be understood. This experience set the tone for the evening to be distant from each other rather than enjoy each other. One of the definitions of sarcasm is to cut or tear flesh. Ouch! Sarcasm is so culturally accepted that it is not viewed by some as hurtful in relationships. Others feel the cut and tear and don't speak up even though it is painful. Most of us love a good joke. A joke means that everyone laughs. If all do not laugh, it falls into the sarcasm category. Being intentional in bringing humor to a relationship is extremely healthy. Do you lead with sarcasm or jokes? Watch for the blind spots. Please comment, like, and share, I appreciate your input. You can get a copy of my book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about Myself #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #energy #energyhealing #marriage #selfempowerment #jokes #jokesonyou #sarcasm #fridayinspiration #changeyourmindset #changeyourlife #mindset #thinking #MindOfChrist #mindovermatter #empoweryourself #bayharbourumc #RussellTomlinson #relationshiprevolution #Friday #fridayvibes #fridaymotivation #leadershipcoaching #buildabetteryou