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Grit is the cornerstone of success in both professional and personal pursuits. Grit is that steadfast resilience and unwavering perseverance. In the workplace, grit is the invisible force driving individuals toward their goals, regardless of setbacks or challenges. Similarly, in personal life, it becomes the guiding principle that propels one forward, even when faced with adversities. Years ago, I observed two young men who were equally talented and skilled. Ralph was armed with grit, while Ed was lacking in this attribute. Both were on their respective journeys down life's highway. The difference in their paths became evident as they passed through the challenges of work and personal life. Ralph, equipped with grit, approached his work with unwavering determination. When faced with setbacks or hurdles, he didn't falter. Instead, Ralph saw them as opportunities to learn and grow. He remained persistent, tirelessly refining his strategies, and pushed forward. This perseverance propelled him to overcome obstacles, achieve his goals, and earn professional respect. His resilience allowed him to weather storms, tackle difficulties, and maintain healthy relationships in his personal life. His grit guided him through tough times toward personal fulfillment. Ed lacked grit and struggled in both his career and personal life. Although he possessed talent and intelligence at work, he quickly became discouraged when challenged. Setbacks caused him to lose sight of his goals. He gave up quickly, lacking the resilience to bounce back from failures. This hampered his progress and prevented him from reaching his full potential. In his personal life, this lack of perseverance manifested through struggles in maintaining relationships and pursuing personal goals. The contrast between Ralph and Ed emphasizes the pivotal role that grit plays in shaping outcomes. While talent and intelligence lay a foundation, grit determines how far one goes. Armed with grit, we can excel in our professional endeavors and maintain a balanced approach to personal challenges. On the other hand, the individual lacking in grit might need help to make significant strides in both. Grit permeates every aspect of life. It drives success, enabling individuals to persevere, adapt, and thrive professionally and personally amidst adversities. Have you ever evaluated your level of grit? Watch for the blind spots. I sure appreciate you spending your valuable time with me. Thanks for sharing, commenting and liking these posts. Christmas is coming! Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships, it’s a great stocking stuffer or ebook. Get a conversation started this holiday season. Also, if you purchased your book on any of the online bookstores would you rate and write a review, especially Amazon. I certainly am grateful for all the ones out there and appreciate you all so much.

My Toastmasters Club (Clear Lake Area Chamber of Commerce Toastmasters) has a theme for each meeting. Last week, the theme for the day was "Progress, not perfection." I love this approach to life. It reminds me of my many years of struggle with perfection. Shame was the monster that pulled me back in life. The thought of being perfect would mean no one could spot my blemishes, so that perfection would disallow any feelings of shame. Nice try, Jerry. [Blind Spot] The illusion of perfection was an alluring trap that enticed me into its grasp with promises of flawlessness and unattainable standards. This pursuit sent me into frustration, anxiety, and a relentless cycle of self-criticism. Instead of embracing progress, I fixated on perfection, setting myself up for disappointment. Perfection becomes the unclimbable mountain that continues to move away as I inch forward. Perfectionism is a mirage that closes my eyes to the beauty of small positive steps toward progress. When focusing solely on achieving perfection, I overlook the invaluable lessons along life's journey that come from making and learning from mistakes. Pursuing perfection is like standing at the starting line, endlessly checking my gear while the race has already begun. Conversely, progress is about stepping forward, learning from mistakes, and adjusting along the way. It's a continuous improvement process, embracing imperfections as part of the journey rather than seeing them as failures. Failure isn't the endpoint; it's a steppingstone toward progress. The pressure to be perfect can lead to stress, burnout, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. In contrast, focusing on progress allows me to celebrate small victories, appreciate the journey, and maintain a healthier perspective on my goals. By taking steps toward progress, I become open to growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. Today, I trade the pursuit of perfection for the embrace of progress, knowing that each small step forward brings me closer to my aspirations. Operating from my free spirit permits me to welcome my mistakes as I learn from them. How about you? Does perfection cloud your journey forward? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please comment, like and share. Christmas is coming! Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships, it’s a great stocking stuffer or ebook. Get a conversation started this holiday season. Also, if you purchased your book on any of the online bookstores would you rate and write a review, especially Amazon. I certainly am grateful for all the ones out there and appreciate you all so much.

In the early 90's, our church moved into our new sanctuary. A small church near us had burned and the members did not want to rebuild, so they joined our church. That is where I met my late friend JD. I have written about him before in Do I have to. Our church started a mixed slow-pitch baseball team. The team was terrible. JD was our pitcher because he couldn't run very fast or throw very far, but he was one of our better players. Our team wasn't in contention to win the league championship, but we had a great time. JD was an unconventional man. He always wore a tie to church, and it revealed what he had for breakfast. Eggs, jelly, honey, and sometimes untraceable spots decorated his tie. He was very outgoing and would joyfully walk around the sanctuary before service began, introducing himself and welcoming people. One Sunday, I was at the back of the sanctuary, talking and laughing with my friend Bert. The conversation became somber as Bert asked, "I wonder why God put JD in my life." Oh my! What a riveting question. My laughter stopped, and I began to have all kinds of emotions. I was simultaneously embarrassed, humbled, shocked, and shamed. [Blind Spot] "Why did God put him in my life?" What a great question. This was one of those life changing moments. It was an awakening to my immature, judgmental behavior. I had to acknowledge my 'holier than thou attitude." What a less-than-honorable character I become when I don't ask this question. When I compare or condemn others, I think of that Sunday morning all the time. It is an easy pit to fall into, yet totally against who I want to present. How about you? Have you ever asked, "Why did God put this person in my life?" It can be life changing. Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please like, share and comment. Christmas is upon us! Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships and get a conversation started this holiday season. It's the perfect stocking stuffer or ebook.

Oh, the holiday season is here! It is synonymous with family, joy, and festivities, yet the tasks of maintaining a clean home, preparing meals, and wrapping presents can lead to overwhelm and feelings of stress. [Blind Spots] can overshadow the peace, joy and happiness meant for this time. It's likely that you've already heard the advice "Don't stress" countless times, and it's easier said than done, right?! I want to emphasize that this is a wake-up call for me. I also wanted to share some tips to help us navigate this holiday season together. It's important to acknowledge that moments of stress and negativity are bound to happen. Let’s make this a stress less holiday, watch for the blind spots. Yo! Download the Navigate the Blind Spots this Holiday Season printable page and begin your stress less journey. Christmas is upon us! Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships and get a conversation started this holiday season: https://tinyurl.com/4w22ccut #blindspots #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #betterme #saturdayvibes #saturday #christmastime #holiday #holidaystress #holidaystressrelief #familylife #mindsetiseverything #toastmasters #stressfree #StressFreeHolidays #businesscoaching #successcoach #dailyinspiration

I often look for ways to help families bond and find richness within. Family history usually fades away, and so do the memories. Maybe not in all families, but I notice that children and even adult children are unaware of the lives their parents experienced. What was it like growing up, attending school, playing sports, getting disappointed, and other vital life issues? I was talking to a mom of three adult children. She had spent an afternoon with them, sharing memories of her childhood. She said the afternoon began by sharing events that she had never shared with them. She talked about how powerful their connections became as she delved into her past. She told me there was nothing profound or wrong about her life, yet they were fascinated to discover who she was and what her young life was all about. As I listened to her share, it became apparent how sharing her personal stories opened the doors for deeper connections. In these shared moments, we unveil our vulnerabilities, joys, and struggles, inviting others to understand us deeper. I like using old photos and videos to jog the memory of past events and special times that sometimes fade. I have enjoyed my trips down memory lane with old photos and would like to have more. Old photos and videos become more than mere pictures. They are nostalgic images containing cherished memories. Recalling memories together creates a unique intimacy. Whether recounting childhood adventures or reliving significant milestones, these shared stories connect our hearts. As we listen to someone's recollections, we step into their shoes, seeing the world through their lens. By disclosing these experiences, we unearth the gems of joy, finding comfort in the shared laughter and hardships. These experiences become supporting pillars, nurturing relationships through understanding, compassion and deepening the sense of belonging and togetherness. How about you? Have you taken the ones you love down memory lane? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please like, share or comment. Christmas is coming! Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that can be holding you back from the relationships you desire. #blindspots #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #betterme #MemoryLane #reminiscing #nostalgia #oldpictures #vintagephotography #memorykeeping #memorablemoments #counseling #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #communication #mindsetiseverything #toastmasters #businesscoaching #successcoach #dailyinspiration

I just watched the movie, Freedom Writers. It has a beautiful story about how hate fosters hate and how a young schoolteacher could recognize this and turn around her young students. This story is true, and the results of her efforts continue to grow 20 years later. She turned haters into heroes. This movie reminds me of how hate can slip in and create such painful experiences that generate more hate. Hate permeates our politics, families, and workplaces, leaving scars deep into our emotional and spiritual selves. In politics, hate breeds division, creating an us-versus-them mentality that retards progress. It blinds us to reason and fuels retaliation, turning governance into a battleground rather than a forum for collaboration. Hateful rhetoric poisons the minds of the masses, sowing seeds of distrust and animosity among the people. Within families, I witness hate fracturing the bonds meant to provide comfort and support. Regardless of the source, unresolved conflicts, envy, or differences in beliefs, hate tears apart the relationships that should offer shelter. Its presence decays communication, festering wounds passed down through generations, preserving a cycle of animosity and pain. In the workplace, hate creates a toxic environment that stifles productivity and innovation. When colleagues harbor resentment or engage in malicious gossip, it poisons team dynamics and destroys morale. The vicious nature of hate breeds a culture of fear, hindering collaboration and suffocating creativity. The impact of hate on our emotional and spiritual well-being is profound. It festers within, consuming us with negativity, anger, and bitterness. It blinds us to empathy and compassion, robbing us of the ability to connect with others on a deeper level. Hate feeds on our emotional vulnerability, leaving us spiritually drained and disconnected from peace within. Escaping the clutches of hate requires a concerted effort to cultivate understanding, empathy, and forgiveness. It requires a collective commitment to rise above divisiveness and embrace unity. Healing the wounds inflicted by hate demands courage, resilience, and a steadfast dedication to fostering an environment of love and acceptance. The movie illustrates how hate can be interrupted with knowledge and understanding. The absence of hate requires leadership, education, and a desire to understand and be understood. I find it difficult to hate if I know who others are and where they have been. "Any of us can turn on a small light in a dark room." ~Anne Frank How about you? Is hate an intrusion to your inner peace? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please like, share or comment. Christmas is coming! Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that can be holding you back from the relationships you desire. #blindspots #selfimprovement #bekind #humanitymatters #mindsetmatters #emotionalmaturity #perspectivematters #leadershipcoaching #leadership #bettereveryday #betterme #conversationsthatmatter #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdaymotivation #hatersgonahate #freedomwriters #empathy #forgiveness #forgivenessheals

I have mentioned our veterans meeting each Thursday evening at our church. It was formed to see what could be done about the veteran suicide rate. We wanted to know if we could help make a difference. Our group, transitionplus.org, is a group that gives veterans a safe place to come to receive or provide support for others, such as their military and war experiences. We focus on the principles of "The Serenity Prayer." Looking for solutions and not focusing on problems can be extremely healing. PTSD can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts about the event, often interfering with daily life and functioning. Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) speaks to personal development for mastering resilience to human responses to trauma. PTG involves various techniques aiding psychological recovery, such as: Mindfulness encourages present awareness, which is crucial in acknowledging and accepting emotions related to trauma. Journaling can concretize the ricocheting thoughts and organize them to enable us to better deal with them. Social support provides empathy and validation, fostering coping and finding meaning. Changing automatic negative thoughts into positive or affirming thoughts can pave the way for a positive perspective. Certain therapies offer interventions that address trauma-related symptoms and promote resilience. Self-compassion and forgiveness release emotional burdens, aiding growth. Physical well-being impacts mental health, contributing to emotional resilience. This is a potent tool for hope and healing. These techniques emphasize resilience, reflection, and meaning after trauma. However, each person's journey is unique, and seeking professional guidance is sometimes vital. Post-traumatic growth embodies hope, illustrating the potential for profound personal transformation amidst adversity. PTG can be utilized in any trauma experience. Every trauma has a unique impact on each of us. Our childhood experiences, education, previous life experiences, and social status are but a few contributors to how we handle major life trauma. PTG is not the answer to all trauma, but it is undoubtedly a positive and effective avenue for relief. How do you handle life's trauma and significant stressors? Watch for the blind spots. #mondaymood #mondaythoughts #mondaymotivations #bettereveryday #blindspots #toastmasters #emotionalintelligence #lifeisagift #successmindset #counseling #selfimprovement #mindsetmatters #bekind #relationshipadvice #veteran #VeteransFamilies #veteransupport #clearlakeareachamber #successcoach #successmindset #serenityprayer #ptsd #ptsdrecovery #ptsdhealing #posttraumaticgrowth

I thoroughly enjoy working with people. I often request people to focus on good things in their lives and how they experience gratitude. Here are a few of their stories: A young couple talked about the disaster of losing his job. They reported they had only been married a few years and wanted to start a family. They fell into financially challenging times, and like so many who lost their livelihood, it was easy to fall into despair. With their families and church families' support, they were encouraged to look to the future with gratitude. By creating a gratitude journal, they kept their spirits high. Gratitude became their lifeline. They clung to small blessings, their supportive community, and each other, and gratitude taught them resilience when they needed it the most. Another young couple reported that intentional gratitude brought them closer. "We make it a point to express appreciation daily. It's not just the grand gestures but the mundane—like thanking each other for chores or simply saying 'I love you.' It's strengthened our bond in ways we couldn't imagine." When I talked to a veteran about gratitude, he reported that he has continued to struggle with his past war experiences. He said that "Gratitude Therapy" helped him shift from the pains of the past to the generosities of the present. His gratitude journal helped him change his focus from his military experience to the simple joys of each day. He reported that the old memories are still present, but gratitude helps him find peace amidst the chaos. When asking an older gentleman about gratitude, he reported that he has experienced many facets of life. He has been given more than he deserves, not just material gifts. He has also experienced loss beyond belief. Now in his 80s, he reports that gratitude is his lifelong companion. He said it's not about what I have but my perspective. Gratitude brings me contentment and wisdom, allowing me to savor life's simple pleasures. 💡 Gratitude is the guiding light through life's ebbs and flows that profoundly influences my spirit. How about you? What would others say about how you embrace gratitude at home and work? Watch for the blind spots. ✍ Yo! I've created a simple Gratitude Journal printable page for you to download, duplicate, and begin your daily gratitude experience. Click here to download. #blindspots #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #journaling #gratitude #gratitudejournal #gratitudeattitude #journalinspiration #communication #betterme #mindsetiseverything #toastmasters #businesscoaching #successcoach #dailyinspiration

Have you ever thought you communicated effectively, only to find out later there were issues with tone, content, or volume? I know we have discussed this in a previous post, but it bears repeating. Recording conversations, especially when emotions run high, can offer valuable insights. This is why I encourage it. What you say?! Recordings are not ethical and are illegal in some settings. Yes, but I set boundaries that only allow recordings when all parties are aware. It is sneaky, underhanded, malicious, and damaging to effective communications to record in secret. Therefore, recordings must be disclosed. I often witness how what is said may be heard differently than intended, such as being listened to as harsh, attacking, or defensive. “The most important thing in communication is to hear what is not being said.” Peter Drucker As the speaker, I do not hear my voice as others may hear it. I recommend using recordings so that each person may hear the voice they haven't heard before, which is their own. Listening to the recording can provide effective feedback that goes unnoticed. As speakers, we frequently do not experience our own voices in the same way that others do. Recordings enable everyone to hear themselves objectively, providing comments that could otherwise be missed. The recording is not meant to gather information on others; it's a tool for self-assessment. Once everyone has listened to their own voice, the recordings must be deleted. When I talk about this, I hear, "Do you think I would say it or say it that way if I knew it was going to be recorded?" [Blind Spot!] This is a perfect realization of how obvious it is that recordings may show a side of us that we don't want to be revealed to ourselves or others. When presented in this manner, this powerful tool makes sense. However, it can be difficult to implement. It's not enough just to acknowledge its effectiveness, success comes from actually making the recordings. How about you? Would knowing you were recorded change how you communicate? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please comment, like and share. 🎅🎁 Christmas is coming! Get them a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships and start a conversation this holiday season! #blindspots #selfimprovement #bekind #humanitymatters #mindsetmatters #emotions #emotionalmaturity #perspectivematters #leadershipcoaching #leadership #bettereveryday #betterme #conversationsthatmatter #recordings #RecordingConversations #paytiforward #communicationiskey #communicationtips #conversationpractice #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdaymotivation #peterdrucker

Many years ago, a good friend of mine, JD, from our church was having kidney failure and had to go to dialysis three times a week. His wife would get up early and take him at 3:30 am. Several of us from the church would pick him up at about 7:30. He wanted to go to breakfast before going home. JD was usually in a grumpy mood after dialysis and rightfully so. Usually, when I would take him to breakfast, he would complain about where we went, how bad the breakfast was, or how it could have been better. His complaints would occur week after week as I picked him up usually on Wednesdays. If I was ever late, I was in trouble, which I understood. I heard how hard it was to wait and how he didn't know if I would be there. It was before cell phones. I would arrive early, sitting in the waiting room with dialysis patients. I began to meet many of them. I started to hear their stories: "I can't empty my dishwasher anymore, or I can’t reach the cabinets to put my dishes away, I can't vacuum anymore, I can't sweep, I hate it when the wind blows, and my trash cans go down the street, I usually have to get someone to go get them for me." This was the beginning of a significant shift for me. I wouldn't say I liked to put the dishes away. I didn't want to empty the dishwasher, vacuum, sweep, or chase the trash cans. As I sat there and listened to the stories, I began to look at my hands and feet. I began to think about how equipped I am and what a privilege it is to have health, strength, and ability. At that moment, I shifted from “I have-to to I get-to.” “I have to is a struggle. I get to is a privilege.” I get to empty the dishwasher, sweep, and chase the trash cans because I have a healthy body. I have two good hands and feet. If I think of it as a gift that I get to do something, life becomes easier. It is my choice to be involved and engaged in life. Today, regardless of how much I do not want to do a chore, I remember that “I get to.” What a privilege! What about you? Is life a have-to or a get-to? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, please like, share or comment. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't Know about Myself on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books a Million and more. Deep dive into the hidden behaviors that can be holding you back from the relationships you desire. #mondaymood #mondaythoughts #mondaymotivations #bettereveryday #blindspots #toastmasters #mentor #emotionalintelligence #successcoach #JoinTheRide #lifeisagift #seniorliving #gettingolder #rememberthis #successmindset #counseling #selfimprovement #mindsetmatters #bekind #relationshipadvice #havetovsgetto #relationshipcoach

Not long ago, I was talking to an elderly couple. I laughed and cried when I spoke to this couple who told me, "When we got married, we had nothing, and today we still have most of it." It speaks volumes about their journey, highlighting contentment, simplicity, and possibly a lack of material possessions, yet a wealth of something more profound. This statement describes a journey marked by resilience and shared priorities. It signifies a bond that has weathered life's storms. Building memories of love and companionship was more important than accumulating material wealth. The statement spoke to their ability to find joy and fulfillment in the simple things of their life together. Worldly pressures speak to the pursuit of material success. This couple reminds me that true wealth lies beyond what money can buy. It's about the strength of a partnership, the depth of connection, and the resilience to navigate life's challenges together. This couple might have accumulated only a few material possessions over the years. However, what they have retained is far more valuable—the essence of their journey, the love that has sustained them, and the experiences that have shaped their bond. Another thing that they disclosed was that their journey began with a biblical foundation then they persistently grew their faith and love of the Lord. This reinforces that I regularly witness couples who pray, and worship together have wealth richer than any material possessions. They might still have most of what they started with, but what truly matters—love, companionship, and shared experiences—has only grown richer with time. Their story inspires me, reminding me that the true treasures in life are not measured by the size of our bank accounts or the possessions we accrue but by a solid shared faith, a deep connection, and the richness of experiences where beautiful memories are accumulated. Their story reminds me that the most precious things in life are often the most basic, straightforward, and enduring. How about you? What are your treasures in life? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please like, share or comment. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that can be holding you back from the relationships you desire. #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #bettereveryday #blindspots #communication #betterme #clearlakeareachamber #rich #wealth #truelove #truelovestory #resilience #bible #worship #sharedfaith #relationalintelligence #marriage #marriedlife #emotionalintelligence #counseling #selfimprovement #mindsetmatters #bekind #toastmasters #relationshipcoach #jointheride #leadershipcoaching

In the past, I have let my circumstances dictate my mood, future, education, finances, employment, etc. Sometimes, circumstances seem so overwhelming that I am frozen in time or so reactionary that I make choices abruptly without adequate research. "Circumstances don't make the man; they only reveal him to himself." Epictetus Epictetus, the Greek philosopher, advocated for the mastery of one's mind in the face of external events. He emphasized the power of perception and choice, asserting that our responses to situations define our character. According to him, challenges, and adversities function as mirrors, reflecting our genuine selves. When confronted with trials, we either embrace resilience or succumb to despair—a testament to our inner nature. Today, I want to see my circumstances as mere occurrences. I want my reactions to them to sculpt my destiny positively. I want my challenges to unveil my strengths and weaknesses, and I want to see that circumstances serve as catalysts for growth, offering a glimpse into my potential. My willingness to be authentic and acknowledge my emotions and vulnerabilities becomes the cornerstone for growth when facing these challenging dilemmas. Who I am is not shaped by external factors but rather by how I navigate life's complexities. Adversity acts as a litmus test, exposing my core values, beliefs, and resilience. If I face financial turmoil, I can crumble under despair or channel my inner resolve, seeking opportunities amidst chaos. The circumstances remain the same, yet my responses unveil my true character. While these dilemmas may test me, my response, resilience, authenticity, and willingness to grow will ultimately define who I will be. Embracing this philosophy empowers me to navigate life's uncertainties with grace, knowing that within every challenge lies an opportunity for self-discovery. Viktor Frankl says, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." How about you? Do you allow your dilemmas to dictate who you are and how you show up, or do you use circumstances to sculpt your destiny? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your feedback, please like, share or comment. Get your copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that can be holding you back from the relationships you desire. #blindspots #selfimprovement #toastmasters #toastmastersinternational #bekind #humanitymatters #mindsetmatters #emotionalmaturity #perspectivematters #leadershipcoaching #leadership #bettereveryday #betterme #sculpting #mydilemma #epictetus #circumstances #circumstancesdontmatter #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaywisdom #wednesdaymotivation