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Have you ever considered living a life with no regrets? What an exciting quest this would be. I have lived many years and have accumulated many regrets. Regrets in life are the feelings of disappointment, sorrow, or remorse that arise when I look back on past decisions or actions and wish I had chosen differently. Regrets can create a burden of "what ifs" and "should haves," which may hinder my ability to embrace the present and move forward in life fully. However, regrets can also serve as valuable lessons, prompting self-reflection and offering insights that guide future decision-making. By acknowledging regrets, I can strive to make amends, take proactive steps toward desired goals, and make choices aligned with my values and aspirations. I have found work that isn't work at all, but doing what fulfills my soul. Work-life balance has been difficult because of my passion for it. My dad taught me to be an excellent worker, energetic, and unafraid to take on more significant projects. Thanks, Dad. As for spirituality, I have found that God's word is the best playbook for destiny. I marvel over God's creation in nature. I have become more thankful daily for those who have gone before me and influenced my path to follow Him. Thanks, Mom. My spiritual beliefs have allowed me to find calm in times of uncertainty and guidance in times of peril. Today I hang out in "the fourth quarter." Who knows, it may be the "two-minute warning." I am grateful that I have been given this life and humbly pray for those who suffer. I want to look back with a heart full of contentment. I have experienced the depths of love, achieved professional fulfillment, and cultivated meaningful relationships, all of which have nourished my soul. I want to live a life with no more regrets. I choose to be surrounded by loved ones and to leave a lasting legacy of love, inspiration, and fulfillment. I want to show others that it is possible to reach the finish line of life with no regrets by embracing the beauty of life we have all been given. How about you? Your legacy is being lived out today. How are you doing with regrets? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #communication #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #help #relationshiptips #businesscoaching #noregrets #noregret #regretnothing #Regret

Growing up, I experienced shame and embarrassment that left lasting imprints on my self-esteem. I struggled to find humor in myself because of the fear of being laughed at or judged by others. The mere thought of laughing at my mistakes or quirks would resurrect those old shameful feelings, reinforcing my insecurities. The path to being able to laugh at me was a challenging one. It required admitting that I had invented the concept of feeling blemished or unacceptable. I had to challenge this negative narrative I had internalized and redefine my perception of self-worth. Gradually, I realized that the ability to laugh at myself was not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of resilience and self-acceptance. A considerable shift for me came when I accepted and believed that God made me more than enough. I was equipped to be the man He made me to be. As I let go of the weight of shame, I found that laughter became a liberating force. It enabled me to accept and embrace my humanity, flaws, and all. Instead of dwelling on my mistakes or moments of awkwardness, I began to see them as opportunities for growth and valuable life lessons. Laughter became a tool to diffuse tension, build connections, and foster a lightheartedness that made life more enjoyable. The ability to laugh at myself has provided me with a sense of freedom and fun in my life. It has allowed me to approach challenges with a lighter perspective and a willingness to take risks. I've discovered that when I find humor in my missteps, I am less fearful of judgment from others. Laughing at myself has become an act of self-empowerment, reminding me that I am more than my mistakes and that vulnerability can be a source of strength. How about you? Did God make you enough or even more than enough? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #resetyourmind #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #mindset #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #communication #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #laughatyourself #laughingisgoodforthesoul #laughteristhebestmedicine #laughterheals #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #marriagecounseling #wednesday #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdayvibes

Let me tell you what I need from you before I tell you what I am going to tell you. This statement gives the listener a clear expectation of what the speaker needs from the conversation. By clarifying what they need from the listener first, the speaker sets the context or establishes a basis for their upcoming communication. It indicates that the speaker wants to ensure the listener understands their needs or preferences before further discussing or sharing additional information. Unless this statement proceeds the conversation, the following communication blunders can derail what the speaker is attempting to convey. I am getting unsolicited advice. Too often, the speaker gets interrupted with advice before making their point, or they get advice when they want validation or confirmation. I feel they are trying to fix me. Again, before the speaker has made their point, telling them what or how they should have handled a situation is degrading, embarrassing and pompous. I feel they are telling me how a situation should be handled. Here again the listener can cause the speaker to feel discounted, inept, and out of touch. I get no response. They have yet to give a response because none was requested. Here the listener might not know the expectations and listens. The speaker can construe this as that they need to pay better attention. Telling what you need before telling what you want to tell is a request that allows the speaker to feel heard. It gives the listener great instructions to be more strategic in their reply. This statement gives the listener instructions that if followed, can cause more connection and understanding. It promotes continuity in conversation. How are you at getting your needs understood before you begin your conversation? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #communication #communicationblunders #communicationiskey #communicationmatters #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #help #relationshiptips #businesscoaching

I want to write about something a little different, another blind spot for you to uncover. It's the blind spot of “natural gifting.” One of the joys of what I do is assisting people to recognize their natural gifts. When I point them out, they don’t think there is anything special about these qualities. They are such a natural part of their personality and character, they just see them as “who they are.” “He or she is a natural…” it’s built-in, hardwired, ingrained, and often taken for granted. [Blind Spot] If something comes that easily, we tend to overlook it or think it must not be valuable. Because it is hidden from us and because it is our nature, we don’t always recognize who we are and how we show up. So often we think that making masterful and worthwhile contributions must be difficult. If it is hard to achieve or do, it must be worthwhile to pursue and more valuable to others and the world. Sometimes what comes easy, yes, our natural gifts, can produce our greatest contributions. We strive, research, train, focus, and encourage ourselves primarily to carry out activities that do not come naturally. We are constantly looking for our strengths and the most valuable contribution we can make. Don’t take me out of context, there is nothing wrong with working hard and challenging ourselves. However, I think we need to be reminded of the things we do “with our eyes closed.” The things that energize us as we are doing them are often our strengths in nature and gifting—and all too often our blind spots. Let’s all challenge ourselves to do more of the things we are naturally good at, where we feel like we are just being ourselves and can see that our incredible talent comes from within. Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering their blind spots, share this post. Like or comment also, I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. #resetyourmind #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #mindset #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #leadershipdevelopment #communication #relationshiptips #marriageandfamilytherapy #success #motivation #inspiration #inthistogether #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #marriagecounseling #wednesdaymotivation

Here is the adult answer to the question, what does love mean? Love is a complex emotion that can be challenging to explain, fully encompassing many experiences and meanings. However, at its core, love can be described as a deep affection, care, and attachment towards someone or something. It is important to note that love can take various forms and be experienced in different relationships, such as romantic, familial, and platonic love. The experience and expression of love can vary greatly from person to person, and cultural, social, and individual factors influence it. Ultimately, love is a deeply personal and subjective experience that can bring immense joy, fulfillment, and meaning to our lives. Here are a few answers from the love experts who are not yet tainted with others' ideas. What does love mean? “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So, my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.” Rebecca 8 “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl 5 “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy 8 “Love makes you smile when you're tired.” Terri 4 “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy, and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure it tastes OK.” Danny 7 “Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby 5 “There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them.” Jenny 4 “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.” Noelle 7 “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy 6 “My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare 5 “Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine 5 “Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you've left him alone all day.” Mary Ann 4 “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren 4 “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen 7 “You really shouldn't say I love you unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica 8 “I let my big sister pick on me because my mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So, I pick on my baby sister because I love her.” Bethany 4 “Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris 8 How do you define love? Do you demonstrate it? What is holding you back? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #love #lovematters #Godslove #kids #counseling #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #people

On Jan 2nd, my post had to do with what you planned to accomplish in the coming year of 2023. I talked about my friends' year-end letters where they recap the previous year. I challenged you to write your December 2023 accomplishment letter in the first week of January 2023. What? You might say…go to the end of December '23 and look back in your mind and write the future? This may have seemed out of place, out of your normal rhythm. But I believed it had the potential to be fun, inspiring, and impactful. I mentioned it could be difficult but exciting to start today and write your story as if you've already reached your destination. I asked you to think about your goals, dreams, and desires for 2023. This required you to imagine yourself in late December 2023, and look back on the year to see what you've accomplished. Well, we are halfway into 2023. How are you doing? How are your dreams and aspirations going? Are you up to date and able to celebrate the accomplishments you declared in your letter? This may be startling to some. The point is to capture Steven Covey's second habit, "Begin with the end in mind." This process allows you to see yourself in the future, experiencing what you want to have happen. It is fascinating how we can dream, see what we want and then put that on hold and go quietly about life without making a conscious effort to allow it to become a reality. Writing these dreams and aspirations is the first step in accomplishing what we want to happen. Establishing a system that can be followed throughout the year is the key to success. Jim Rohn says, "Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day." Once you know what you want or where you are going, launching processes or systems to monitor progress is essential. Processes and systems keep you on track with your future visions. Look at what you wrote at the beginning of the year. You may be behind. I am. I need to catch up on a few things in my letter, and I still have plenty of time to catch them up. How about you? Watch for the blind spots. Please like, share and comment. I appreciate your feedback. #blindspots #beahero #inspiration #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #resetyourmind #changeyourlife #selfempowerment #mindset #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #planforlife #resetyourmind #livefulldieempty #LiveFull #getitright #counselingmatters #future #planyourfuture #getitdone #getorganized

It is easy to catch others doing things wrong. It is almost cultural. Children can grow up hearing more negative comments than positive ones. Have you ever been focused on how negative our conversations can be? Negativity can permeate a conversation, and without a balance of catching others doing things right and well, it can set a negative pattern in our lives. Individuals who expect the worst or are skeptical may feel better prepared for probable disappointments or avoid getting their hopes up. Interestingly enough, we naturally tend to pay more attention to negative information. Venting about problems or complaining about various aspects of life can offer a sense of catharsis, allowing individuals to relieve stress or momentary dissatisfaction. Expressing negativity can provide a temporary release of emotions and frustration. Engaging in conversations centered around complaints or criticism can create a sense of camaraderie as people bond over shared frustrations. In certain circles, this social reinforcement can make negativity appear more acceptable or desirable. While it's understandable why negativity can be more accessible and sometimes easier to embrace, it's important to recognize the potential pitfalls. Negativity can harm personal well-being, relationships, and overall outlook on life. It's crucial to strive for balance and actively cultivate positive thinking to promote mental and emotional well-being. Catching others doing things right and well is a great way to foster a positive and supportive environment. It will build self-esteem and confidence. Acknowledging people's efforts and achievements can boost morale, enhance teamwork, and encourage continued excellence. It can set the tone of the team or family. Paying attention to the actions and behaviors of those around us and noticing when someone goes above and beyond their usual responsibilities is an excellent opportunity to highlight them. Offering recognition as soon as possible shows you are attentive and appreciative of their efforts. Remember, catching others doing things right benefits and contributes to a supportive and high-performing work or social environment. Focusing on the positive and celebrating achievements can cultivate a culture of excellence and encourage continued success. How do you measure up acknowledging others doing things right or wrong? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone who could benefit from this post please share. Comment or like also, I appreciate your feedback. #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #letstacoboutit #communication #opportunity #success #people #culture #teamwork #environment #work #team #communicationiskey #letstalk #counseling #growtogether #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips

Sometimes things are not what they appear to be. It is easy not to see what you are not looking for. I was recently reacquainted with Anthony, who was in our veterans' group for several years. He is an amazing man who served in the Gulf War and is disabled due to PTSD. I first met him when he brought his friend to the group. I'll call him Mr. B. I didn't know Mr. B was blind for the first few meetings. The group averaged about 25 per meeting, and he was quiet and reserved until we got to know him. His blindness was due to cataracts, and because of problems with his discharge, he could not receive VA benefits. His doctor told him he would be blind beyond repair if he didn't get these cataracts removed immediately. With no insurance or VA benefits, blindness was his permanent destination. Anthony reached out, not for himself, but for Mr. B. because the process for restoring his VA benefits was going to take too long to save his sight. Through the group's efforts, two doctors who heard his story, volunteered their services. The Lions Club paid for the surgery facility. Anthony was personally responsible for Mr. B's new sight. He stuck by his side, oftentimes lacking in gas money, he drove Mr. B. to all his appointments, and made certain he attended the Thursday evening veterans' support group. This is only one of the things Anthony has unselfishly done to help others. He is the first to volunteer and recently spent countless days assisting the victims of the recent tornado in Pasadena. He is an example of sacrifice, and selfless serving. I was just apprised of his reaching out for help for himself. I had no idea he was suffering in his own home, which was in desperate need of repairs during the years he was involved with our veterans' group. This humble VETERAN deserves the best from us. I have reached out to several organizations for their support and am attaching his humble appeal for assistance. Please offer Anthony your prayers for a safe home for him, his daughters, and his mother. If you have the resources to assist him, please support him. Watch his video and be led by your heart. This man is legitimate. Here is the link for his gofund.me. https://gofund.me/7709ce93 Sometimes we have things going on in our backyard and we don't even know it. Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could help or support, share this post. I appreciate you getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #checkenginelight #checkengine #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #gofundme #gofundmecampaign #giveback #payitforward #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #networkingdonedifferent

Indecision is the greatest thief of opportunity. ~Jim Rohn Indecision refers to a state of hesitation or uncertainty. It is a common human experience that can arise from various factors, such as conflicting options, fear of making the wrong choice, lack of information, or personal doubts. Here are some ideas to help you avoid getting bogged down by indecision and missing out on opportunities: Identifying the cause of hesitation can be a great place to start. Is it conflicting options or fear of the outcome? Is it a need for more information? Information can lead to clarity. Does it positively meet your core beliefs? Does it fit with your long-term goals or aspirations? What do my trusted friends say about this? Is it conflicting with your intuition and my logical reasoning? When I face indecision, my anxiety goes up and my intellect goes down. Obtaining as many facts as possible is crucial to causing my intellect and emotions to be in balance. I want to write copiously as I try to figure out the answers to these four questions. 1) What do I know about this decision? 2) What do I not know about this decision? 3) What can I do about this decision? 4) What can I not do about this decision? The more I write, the clearer it is to me what to do. Indecision is a normal part of the decision-making process. It's okay to consider your options, but it's essential to choose and move forward at some point. Are you indecisive? Is it threatening your opportunity? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #indecision #decide #choosewisely #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferently #businesscoaching

This is a relationship-building question that often needs to be answered with more honesty. I often witness what is "not being said" as a major contributor to the demise of a relationship. Relationships drift off course due to poor communication. Communication is essential in any relationship, and when it declines or becomes less regular or meaningful, it can lead to feelings of distance and disconnection. As we grow and evolve, our priorities and interests may change. If both parties in a relationship prioritize different things or pursue different paths, it can create an unconscious sense of overlooking the necessity to keep communications fresh and ongoing. Busy schedules, demanding careers, and other responsibilities can consume significant time and energy, leaving less room for nurturing relationships. Emotional changes, such as personal growth, shifts in values, or evolving beliefs, can impact a relationship. If individuals don't address or communicate these changes over time, this can cause a "gradual drift". Sharing experiences and activities help foster a sense of connection and shared interests. When individuals stop engaging in these activities or don't create new ones, it can contribute to a "silent drift". Open and honest communication, quality time together, and mutual effort are key factors in navigating and overcoming poor communication. So, the real opportunity in a healthy relationship becomes talking about what is not being said. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excellent, what value would you give communications in your significant relationship? What are you not saying or asking that is left unspoken? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #wednesday #wednesdaymotivation #wednesdaymood #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #communication #communicationiskey #letstalk #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #businesscoaching

Ugh that pesky "little light." Did it make you pause and cause a little anxiety?You have already got enough going on, right?! Now this?! Acting out of my anxiety is what I call “going out of control to gain control.” Have you ever gone out of control to gain control? I have many times and didn’t know it. My intentions had to do with controlling others or a situation in which I had no control. I sometimes say God did not give me a “check engine” light. If I did have a check engine light that showed my anxiety is overriding my intellect, it would be easy for me to recognize, disengage, and be sure that I do not cause more damage to myself, the other person, or the relationship. When I feel stressed or attacked, it brings rise for me to need to get bigger and louder. Going out of control to gain control takes me out of the logical, rational part of my brain. It ensures I will become much less "emotionally mature" and feel I must resort to "survival mode." Now I recognize God did give me a “check engine light.” Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. I can begin to seek self-control and identify what is going on with my body, and mind. I have to remember the only thing I have control of is me. Keep looking for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots, like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. If you want to find out more about discovering your blind spots get your book below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #mondaymotivation #mondaymood #mondaymorning #mondaythoughts #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #checkenginelight #checkengine #bettereveryday #mindsetiseverything #bayharbourumc #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #buildabetteryou #buildabetterfuture #mentalhealth #relationships #relationshipcoach #emotionsmatter #networkingdonedifferent

Ralph and Robin were reminiscing over their past relationship experiences and discussing the progress they had made. Robin mentioned how she used to feel controlled by Ralph. Ralph laughed and was reminded of his terrible blind spot that was so unconscious to him but so apparent to Robin. His laughter was new because he didn't have to deny her experience as he used to. When the need for control in a relationship leads to a power struggle, it can undermine trust, autonomy, and the overall health of the relationship. If one partner feels the need to control the other, it implies a lack of trust and confidence in their choices and abilities. The power of control introduces feelings of resentment and lack of personal satisfaction for the partner who is being controlled. It also prevents personal growth, independence, and self-expression. Exploring and addressing the underlying reasons behind the power of control is beneficial. It may involve personal insecurities, past experiences, or a lack of confidence. Individual self-reflection can be a valuable tool in working through these challenges and fostering a healthier dynamic. However, some individuals may need to have power and control based on their past experiences. It can provide a sense of security and stability. Having control in a relationship may work well for some because it can create predictability and organization, which can be comforting in the relationship. A desire to be in control can also arise from a strong sense of responsibility and a desire to make thoughtful decisions that are in the best interest of the relationship. This works best when both partners are involved in the decision-making process and share a similar vision of their relationship. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, it is important to strike a balance between individual autonomy and shared decision-making. Open communication, trust, and mutual respect are crucial, it creates the power of love that is needed for both. Do you experience the power of control greater than the power of love? Watch for the blind spots. If you know someone that could benefit from discovering blind spots like, share or comment on this post. I appreciate your feedback and getting the message out. #thepoweroflove #powerofchoice #blindspots #counselingworks #mindsetmatters #bettereveryday #mindset #bayharbourumc #bekind #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #counseling #growtogether #fridayvibes #friday #fridaymotivation #mindsetiseverything #marriagecoach #relationships #relationshiprevolution #relationshipcoach #relationships #relationshiptips #networkingdonedifferent #businesscoaching