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I have found that when someone is hurt, frustrated, or overwhelmed, they don’t need solutions; they need connection. One of the most powerful tools for creating that connection is asking gently curious questions.   These questions, especially when combined with safe listening , allow us to explore another person’s inner world without judgment or pressure. They create space for deeper understanding, both for them and for us.   An emotional person cannot hear facts. Trying to “fix” someone in distress usually backfires, raising their anxiety and triggering our own. That tension can lead to defensiveness, distance, or even arguments, exacerbating the situation.   For example, if someone says, “I’m not smart,”  our instinct might be to correct them: “Of course you are!” But that can feel invalidating. Instead, a gentle, curious approach might be:   “How long have you felt that way?”   “What do your grades tell you?”   “How come you think I see you that way?”   What else are you frustrated or worried about?   Notice the difference. We’re not correcting. We’re exploring. The more an anxious person hears their own voice, the more they talk themselves down.   It’s also important to avoid leading with “why.” “Why”  often sounds like a challenge: “Why are you late?”  or “Why didn’t you call me back?” can trigger shame or resistance. Try instead:   “Help me understand…”   “What else can you tell me?”   “What do you need from me right now?”   Let the answers guide your next gently curious question. This is not an easy concept to learn or practice. It is counterintuitive. Don’t rush to correct or advise. Trust the process. After the emotional energy has softened, perhaps in two hours, you can revisit the topic and offer your perspective with greater impact.   Our culture, because we don’t want to see our loved ones in pain or suffering, tends to fix the anxious person. Anxious people don’t want to be fixed; they want to be rid of their anxiety.   Gently curious questions don’t just reduce anxiety, they build trust, reveal blind spots, and create the safety that makes real change possible.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

This weekend reminded me how healing is possible, even in relationships once marked by distance and pain.   Not long ago, I sat with a father and son who were clearly struggling. Misunderstandings and past choices had driven a wedge between them. As I listened, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own journey with my older son. We, too, had gone through a difficult season; one filled with conflict, hurt, and long silences. It wasn’t easy, but over time, love found its way back. My relationships with all my sons are now filled with connection and peace. That’s why I believe healing is possible, not just for me, but for the father and son I met, and for countless others, also. It has taken time, patience, perseverance, and prayer. Today, I love every conversation and visit we have.   That hope was deepened this weekend when my sister came to visit. It had been almost two years since we had one-on-one time. She’s a few years older, with memories of our grandparents and early family life that differ from mine. As we flipped through old photo albums, we laughed, cried, and filled in the missing pieces of each other’s stories. There’s something sacred about old photographs, they unlock forgotten moments and remind us of stories that separate and heal. I call it a trip down memory lane.   I grew up in a family of six siblings, three boys and three girls, spanning twelve years. Like most families, we had our share of rivalries, but we were rooted in love. Our parents weren’t perfect, but they gave us what mattered most: belonging.   Today, only two sisters and I remain. We don’t gather often, but when we do, it’s a reminder of the bond we still share. I know not all families experience that kind of connection, but I also know it’s never too late to reach out.   Even if things are broken, peace can still grow. Healing may take time, but it begins with one small step. The door to restoration may be closer than you think.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Regrets in my life have felt like an ache buried deep in my bones, dull, persistent pain that never entirely leaves. I've sat with others who have told me they've carried regret for decades. Some mourn the things they did, the words they said in anger, the bridges they burned, and the people they hurt. Others ache for what they didn't  do, dreams they delayed, love they didn't express, risks they avoided.   Jim Rohn said, "We must all suffer one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons."  And those tons settle into my bones when I ignore life's quiet signals.   Darren Hardy reminds me that life compounds over time. Small daily choices either build a legacy or leave a trail of "what ifs."  Regret is often the accumulation of blind spots I ignored, the moments I didn't take the time to reflect on myself, the times I believed I had more time.   As I've written before, blind spots are the things I don't know, I don't know. They hide in my patterns and justifications. And when I finally see them, it’s too late, I realize the cost. The aches set in.   But here's the good news: while regret is heavy, it also serves as a compass. If I listen to it with courage and empathy, it shows me where I wasn't aligned with my deeper values. It calls me not to shame, but to action.  I can't undo the past, but I can learn  from it. I can close the gap between who I was and who I am becoming.   That's the work of emotional maturity: being honest about my choices, gentle with my humanity, and bold enough to do life differently.   If regret is aching in your bones today, I suggest you don't push it away. Sit with it. Let regret speak. Then, decide what you will  do while you still can.   Because nothing is heavier than the regret of a life unlived.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you ever been in a frustrating relationship where the other person didn’t understand your reasoning?   I certainly have. And more than once, I’ve fallen into the trap of thinking that if they would change, things would get better. I knew exactly what they should do to fix the problem. But the more I tried to convince them, the more they resisted. I would think, “What is wrong with them?”  Maybe they were stubborn. Perhaps they didn’t listen. Whatever it was, I would exhaust myself trying to get them to see things my way.   Looking back, I realize how blind I was to my role in the conflict. I was a one-trick pony, wanting it my  way, convinced that if I could persuade them, we would have peace. But pushing others rarely works. It often makes things worse.   That was one of my blind spots.   Now I can see this pattern so clearly in others, arguing about things that don’t matter while the real issue stays hidden. The elephant in the room is usually old resentments, unresolved hurts, or something that hasn’t been named or healed.   So, what is the answer?   It’s not out there, it’s with the person we see in the mirror. I’m the one who needs to change first. When I try to “win” by overpowering or outarguing the other, I usually end up losing and causing them to lose also.   But when I shift my focus from trying to fix them to asking, “What can I do differently?” , everything begins to change.   The real power comes from choosing a win-win approach.   I recently sat with a couple who were in conflict. But when they paused to name what they appreciated about each other, their entire energy changed. They smiled. They relaxed. The tension eased. Appreciation helped them reconnect.   Anyone can interrupt conflict by showing appreciation, listening deeply, praying out loud or simply being willing to see their part.   It’s not the typical response in a heated moment, but it works. Be different. Take the lead.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

A friend once told me he was going to try to run a marathon. I asked what his plan was.   "Well," he said, "I'm going to try running farther and faster every time I go out."   That one word, try, stood out to me. It was soft, uncommitted, and unclear.   I asked another friend who was training  for a marathon. She had a daily plan that included distances, paces, nutrition, and rest. She tracked every week. And when race day came, she didn't "try," she ran and finished strong.   The difference? Training is intentional. Trying is hopeful.   Words matter.   When I say, "I'll try to eat better" or "I'll try to get a new job," I often give myself unconscious permission to fail. Trying keeps my goals vague and my effort optional. It's like saying, "I'll dabble and see what happens."   But training sets me up for progress. It involves planning, action, review, and adjustment. It's less dramatic, but far more effective. It means choosing routines that support my goals and measuring them regularly. When I miss the mark, I don't beat myself up; I adjust and keep going.   Years ago, I trained for the Dallas White Rock Marathon. It wasn't glamorous. It was slow, steady, and full of early mornings and aching legs. But I had a pace chart, a mileage calendar, and weekly checkpoints. I certainly didn't win on race day; it was my training that allowed me to accomplish my personal best.   Now, I use the same approach in my daily life with what I call "The Weekly Display." I set clear intentions and create small daily tasks that build toward long-term goals. These routines become my training ground for a better life.   My words shape my mindset, and my mindset shapes my results.   Try gives me an exit.   Train gives me a path.   Which one are you choosing today?   Watch for the blind spots. Download "Weekly Display": https://tinyurl.com/4xekre8w   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

When I was a boy, my mom shopped at stores that gave out S&H Green Stamps, tiny rewards based on the amount of money spent. We collected those stamps in little books, and once we had enough, we could “cash them in”  for something you wanted: a toaster, a football, or even camping gear. It was a game of accumulation, spending, saving, and redeeming.   I’ve come to realize it is easy to do something very similar with emotions.   In my relationships, whether at home, at work, or in the world, it was easy to get hurt, feel disappointed, or be offended. But instead of dealing with the pain right away, too many times I have “saved”  it. I collected emotional stamps:  minor offenses, irritations, and moments of feeling overlooked or unappreciated. And like the stamp books of my childhood, I held onto them until one day, I had enough, and “cashed them in,”  often in an outburst or breakdown that surprises even me.   Emotional maturity teaches me to notice those moments before  they accumulate and become overwhelming. It helps me release pressure little by little, rather than letting it build up like a clogged pressure cooker that eventually explodes. Just like a pressure cooker has a release valve to prevent disaster, I also need emotional release valves.   One simple but powerful tool I use is the word “ouch.”  It’s a way to say, “Something just hurt,”  without blaming or attacking. It opens the door to resolution instead of resentment. When someone cares about the relationship, they’ll lean in and listen. If they don’t, I know to step back with awareness, not anger.   Emotional intelligence is not about never getting hurt;  it’s about learning how to express hurt in ways that build connection, not destroy it. The more I speak up early and honestly, the fewer emotional stamps I carry, and the more peace and self-control I experience in my life.   How about you? Sometimes it is easy to collect these emotional stamps without even realizing we are doing it.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

As we fire up the grill, enjoy watermelon, and gather with family under the summer sun, let’s pause to remember what we’re truly celebrating on the 4th of July.   On July 4, 1776, a brave declaration was made, thirteen American colonies claimed independence from British rule, and gave birth to a new nation. But freedom wasn’t just declared, it was fought  for. From 1775 to 1783, through mud, hunger, snow, and fear, ordinary people, farmers, blacksmiths, and shopkeepers stepped forward to defend that dream. Most had no uniforms, no shoes, and little training. But they had conviction. And they paid a high price: over 25,000 Americans lost their lives in the Revolutionary War.   Freedom didn’t come cheap. And it doesn’t stay free.   We often take for granted the very things our forefathers sacrificed for: the right to speak our minds, to worship, as we choose, to assemble and protest, to bear arms, to vote, and to disagree, sometimes fiercely. That’s the thing about freedom: it allows space for all voices, not just the ones we agree with. That’s not weakness, that’s the strength of a free person.   These rights don’t cancel each other out; they challenge us to listen more attentively, speak more kindly, and carry our freedom with greater responsibility. If we only defend the rights we like, we dishonor those who died to protect them all.   So yes, enjoy your day off. Laugh. Eat. Celebrate. But also take a quiet moment to honor those who walked barefoot into battle so you could walk freely today. Let your gratitude show not just in waving a flag, but in using our freedoms wisely, with humility, courage, and respect.   Let’s not just remember history, let’s be worthy of it.   Happy Independence Day.   Remember the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

It’s a simple question, yet a powerful one. Take a moment to reflect on your life. How old are you today? How long might you live? None of us knows the exact expiration date. Still, we can examine family history and life expectancy to get a general idea, assuming there are no unexpected events that may alter the picture. Now consider the gap between where you are today and that possible endpoint. What will you do with that time?   Too often, we drift through life without ever answering this question. We stay busy, take care of our responsibilities, and manage the day-to-day tasks. However, without identifying what we truly want and what truly matters, we risk ending up in places we never intended. If you don’t set your direction, life will choose one for you.   This question matters in every area of life: your work, your health, your relationships, your impact. Do you want to lead a team? Start a business? Heal a relationship? Travel more? Cultivate peace within yourself?  What you want may take many forms, and the more you identify those desires, the richer your life becomes.   Some things on my list may never happen, but they stay there because they remind me of what matters. If you haven’t named what you want, how will you know you’re getting closer to it?   Setting your sights on something meaningful doesn’t mean locking yourself into rigid goals; it means living with intention. It means defining success on your terms. When you know what you want, your decisions become more transparent and more informed. Your time becomes more precious. Your “yes”  has a purpose, and your “no”  carries confidence.   I’ve learned that naming what I want isn’t selfish, it’s responsible. It helps me live deliberately, not just reactively. It creates a filter for what belongs in my life and what doesn’t.   So, I’ll ask again: What do you want?   Write it down. Say it aloud. Revisit it often.   And watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I don’t know about you, but in my past, I’ve carried insecurity like an invisible weight, sometimes without even realizing it. Self-doubt, fear of not being enough, wondering if I belonged… all of it crept in and shaped how I showed up in relationships, both personally and professionally. I know what imposter syndrome feels like. In my close relationships, insecurity often looked like needing constant reassurance. I would overanalyze a comment or text, wondering if something was wrong. A delayed response could feel like rejection. I’ve caught myself comparing my journey to a friend’s success, and instead of celebrating them, I felt smaller. In my work life, it wasn’t much different. I sometimes held back ideas because I feared they weren’t good enough. I avoided asking for help because I didn’t want to seem weak. And I’ve taken feedback far too personally, even when it was meant to help me grow. The hardest part? The more I tried to hide these insecurities, the more power they had. They distorted how I saw others, and how I assumed others saw me. I became guarded when I needed to be open, defensive when I longed to connect. The result was tension, misunderstanding, and missed opportunities for closeness. But here’s the shift: I started noticing the blind spots. I began asking myself, Is this fear or fact?  I leaned into self-awareness, reached for tools like coaching and honest conversations, and slowly began to loosen insecurity’s grip. I’ve learned I don’t need to be perfect; I just need to be real. Facing my insecurities has brought more peace, more trust, and more genuine connection than pretending ever could. Maybe you’ve been there too. If so, you’re not alone. Insecurity doesn’t have to define us. We can see it, name it, and grow through it. Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

As a child, learning to ride a bike with training wheels was a significant milestone. I felt safe and wobbly but supported, like I had a backup plan if I tipped too far one way. My parents, bless them, stood nearby shouting encouragement and occasionally offering unsolicited advice that I mostly ignored.   Eventually, those training wheels had to come off. At first, I crashed like the rest of them. But that’s how I learned. And a funny thing: those same wheels that helped me in the beginning would have become a real hindrance if I had never let them go.   Life works the same way.   My emotional training wheels: those early years of support, protection, and influence, set the course for how I learned to steer through life, whether they steadied me or not. For others, they were bent, missing bolts, or weren't there at all. But regardless of how I started, it eventually became my bike to ride.   Sure, I could blame my parents for some of the potholes I’ve hit. I could say, “If they’d taught me better, I’d be cruising by now,” and that story might get a few sympathetic nods. But sympathy wouldn't get me down the road any faster.   At some point, I had to say: “Enough with the excuses.”  Even if my parents forgot or refused to take the training wheels off, it’s my job to do it now.   Do I want to keep riding in circles at five miles per hour, clanking along with those little side wheels scraping the pavement? Or do I want to go fast, take some risks, and feel the wind in my face?   I’m not a victim of my past. I am the one steering now, and if I want to grow up, I’ve got to stop leaning on old supports that don’t serve me. I can thank them, learn from them, and move forward. No more blaming. No more wobbling or poor me.   Just me and my grown-up bike on the open road.   Let’s go ride.   Watch for the blind spots.     👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you ever found yourself falling into the same pattern, approaching a familiar problem with familiar tactics? If things don't change, we'll double down or get louder, push harder, or justify more. I am guilty of this also. On paper, this makes no sense. But at the moment, it feels like doing something is better than doing nothing. And so, I repeat what's comfortable, even when it doesn't work.   But what if I were to invert my thinking?   What if, instead of blaming, I took responsibility for my part, no more, no less?   What if, instead of raising my voice, I softened it?   Instead of showing anger, I showed self-control.   Instead of hiding behind deception, I stood in honest clarity.   What if my default reactions could shift?   React → Reflect   Judge → Stay curious   Control → Influence through trust   Criticize → Encourage   Withdraw → Engage thoughtfully   Rush → Pause and breathe   Interrupt → Listen fully   Defend → Understand   Pretend → Be authentic   Demand → Request respectfully   When I look at that list, I see a roadmap for maturity. For connection. For peace. These are not just behavioral flips; they are invitations to grow.   It takes courage to be different than my normal. Resisting old instincts and trusting that a softer, more mindful response might bring a better result. It also means accepting that I have more influence than I think, not through force but through presence.   If I invert my thinking, I open the door to something new: new outcomes, new relationships, new peace within myself.   I don't need to become a different person; I need to choose a different way to show up.   And the beauty is I can start with just one shift. One moment of reflection. One pause before I react. One honest word in place of a protective mask.   Would this be easy? Absolutely not. It's not easy, but life-changing.   Invert the thinking. Change the result. And build a better me.   Watch for the blind spots. 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

The more I focus on the past, the less of the future I can see. I recently spoke with a man who had spent nearly four years in a painful, on-again, off-again relationship. He described the highs as magical and the lows as emotionally devastating. What stood out most was how often both partners kept revisiting old wounds, analyzing past arguments, questioning each other’s motives, and trying to rewrite history by proving who was “right”. The couple was trapped in a cycle. Every disagreement followed the same worn path until one of them would say something deeply hurtful, what I call an “Achilles Heel” comment, to end the fight. It became a predictable script. They weren’t moving forward; they were circling the same old pain. Watching this, it became clear to me: when I live in the rearview mirror, I am bound to crash. It’s like trying to walk down the road of life with my head turned backward. I don’t see where I am going; I trip over possibilities, and the future becomes something to survive, not something to build. Yes, “let the past be the past” sounds simple, but in practice, it requires courage. Courage to stop rehashing. Courage to release the need to be right. And courage to believe that the future holds something better. When I begin to look ahead with clarity and intention, relationships shift, and planning for the future invites collaboration. It creates space for hope, creativity, and anticipation. It transforms being stuck into action. I can’t rewrite yesterday, but I can design tomorrow. The question is: will I keep looking over my shoulder, or will I finally face forward and walk into something new? The more I focus on the past, the less future I can see. The future can’t start until I stop living in the past. Watch for the blind spots. Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Get copy today. 📚 http:// tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp