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People often say, "I tell them repeatedly, and they still don't do what I ask." I've been guilty of this myself. I've found that the more I repeat myself, the less attention I get, and the more it feels like I'm being ignored. For example, I get little response when I casually tell children to pick up their backpacks or stop whining. Similarly, my words go unnoticed if I keep telling my team, "We need to work together on this project," without clarity or authority. When these words are spoken with little or no authority, nothing happens. After the tenth time, I get loud and "go out of control to gain control." What an ineffective means of communication. Have you ever noticed how a foggy mind can spread confusion? When I achieve personal clarity, it's like turning on a light in a dark room—everyone around me can see more clearly, too. Here's why getting clear myself can help align and focus my team, friends, and family. I communicate more effectively when I clearly understand my wants, needs, values, and plans. This clarity in communication ensures that everyone understands the direction and objectives. It eliminates guesswork and prevents misunderstandings. Clarity also fosters confidence. I inspire confidence in others when I know what I want and how to get there. They trust my decisions and feel secure in following my lead. My clarity sets a precedent. Those around me begin to value and seek clarity in their tasks and roles. This can lead to healthier, more open communication in personal relationships and drive productivity and innovation in professional settings. My clarity acts like a ripple in a pond, spreading outwards and influencing those around me. My key is to be clear and assertive. Unsurprisingly, my words get ignored when my instructions are vague or lack conviction. How about you? Are your requests or orders clear or confusing? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for you feedback, I appreciate it. Please like, share or comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Too often, I notice things aren't going well and realize that change is necessary. I find myself stuck in a rut, wishing someone else would change so I could stay the same. Surely, I'm not alone in feeling this way. Change feels unnatural and rigid, making me think it would be easier if others would change instead. I am too familiar with the saying, "Nothing changes as long as nothing changes." It's a simple yet profound statement that underscores the importance of taking action. Whether it's personal growth, career advancement, or improving relationships, staying stagnant ensures that no progress will be made. I resist change because I find comfort in familiarity and fear the unknown. But staying in my comfort zone can lead to complacency and stagnation. If I want different results, I have to take other actions. (Now that's profound.) What if getting uncomfortable is the first step to change? It might be scary initially, but stepping out of my comfort zone is the key to growth and improvement. The more worthy and comfortable I feel, the easier the change becomes. I've realized that wanting others to change while I am staying the same doesn't work. I've come to understand that the more I change myself, the more I can influence others in their changes. If I'm unhappy with my current job but don't improve my skills or seek new opportunities, I'll stay unhappy. If I'm dissatisfied with my health but keep the same habits, my situation will likely get worse. The cycle continues until I decide to break it. Embracing change also involves a shift in mindset. It's about being open to new experiences, learning from failures, and constantly seeking ways to grow. It's about recognizing that discomfort is a sign of progress and that every small step is a step toward a better version of myself. Remember, "Nothing changes as long as nothing changes." How about you?  What small changes in yourself would open big doors in your life? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, it is very important to me. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Bay Harbour UMC celebrates Memorial Day by placing crosses and flags on the lawn. These crosses and flags represent the ones who lost their lives serving our country. Our veteran group, Transition-Plus, desires to place these crosses as a reminder to our community that freedom isn't free. I like to delve deeper into Memorial Day. The lives lost, those who gave everything, deserve the utmost honor. Each death carries with it collateral damage—the pain and grief felt by those left behind. We can imagine this impact in concentric circles. At the heart of this loss are the immediate family members: mothers, fathers, spouses, children, and close relatives, who bear the brunt of the sorrow. Their lives are forever altered, their grief a constant companion. The next circle encompasses close friends, coworkers, other relatives, and neighbors, all deeply affected by the loss. Finally, the outer circle includes the broader network of acquaintances and extended family, each person touched by the sacrifice in their own way. Everyone is grief-stricken initially. Over time, those in the outer circle resume their daily lives, and their grief starts to fade. Letting go is more challenging for those in the middle circle, and their suffering lingers longer. Understandably, those in the center circle have the most difficult time letting go. Their grief feels like a heavy lead blanket. Within that circle, parents and spouses struggle the most. Typically, mothers hold on the longest. They cling to anything that reminds them of their loss—a shirt or jacket hanging in the closet, photos that never seem enough. When a mother speaks of her loss, her voice resonates with profound pain and reverence, reflecting the depth of her sorrow. As you revel in the freedom our country offers, I urge you to remember the ones who have paid the ultimate price, and those who continue to do so. In your celebrations, take a moment to pause, reflect, and honor those who have and continue to sacrifice for our beautiful country. Please take a few minutes this Memorial Day to pause and reflect on why we enjoy all our freedoms, remembering that freedom is not free but paid for by the ultimate sacrifice. Watch for the blind spots. Video : Americo Zapata a Senior at Arizona State University is playing Taps. Thank you for your feedback. Like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I was talking with a young man with two early teens. He and his wife have built a stable family with God at its center. He shared that, for a while now, almost every night, the kids come downstairs for a drink or a snack. Inevitably, they wander over to where he's watching TV or reading and end up conversing about their day and asking questions relevant to their situations. They hang out for 10 to 15 minutes and then return to their rooms. How amazing is that? How many parents do you know who have that relationship with their early teens? The level of trust I see in this family is truly remarkable. My boys didn't come to me in the evenings like that. They were smart enough not to wake the sleeping ogre, even though I wasn't actually sleeping. Feeling accepted and loved opens many doors to parent-teen communications, and trust is the key that unlocks them. I loved my boys to the max, but I don't think they trusted that I would accept what was troubling them or provide helpful feedback. My harshness kept them at bay. I was not equipped to create the inviting atmosphere they needed so greatly. [Blind Spot] This dad created a safe environment for communication. Below are a few key elements I observed with this dad and his teens: Showing genuine interest in their lives, avoiding distractions, and validating their feelings. Avoiding criticism and judgment fosters a sense of safety and shows enthusiasm for their interests. Understanding and managing emotions to respond thoughtfully and model respectful, honest, and open communication. Being reliable in responses and encouraging deeper conversations with open-ended questions. Giving them time to express themselves without rushing. Building this kind of a relationship requires time, early connection and relationship development. The good news is that we can always create new beginnings. How about you? Reflecting on your parenting, can you learn from this dad's example? I certainly can. Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Imagine a large branch falling from a tree into a flowing river. As it drifts, it gets snagged on rocks or other low-hanging branches. It might get pushed into still waters where it could remain indefinitely, potentially becoming waterlogged and sinking, never to continue its journey. It might get caught in small eddies or whirlpools and detained for an unknown period. This drifting branch can symbolize my journey through life. Often, I fail to recognize the forces pushing me off course. Without a clear direction, how can I know where I am going? I get sidetracked by circumstances or people who exploit me for their gain. Without a strong sense of self and purpose, it's easy to veer off course, get snagged, interrupted, or caught up in unwanted situations. I often find myself pushed or pulled into places that don't align with my desires. I believe in having clear targets on life's highway. Knowing what I want to achieve helps me use my time and energy best. Identifying the things that drain my time and energy—like mindless TV, YouTube videos, social media, and other distractions—can hold me back or derail me from my destiny. So, what do I want? What's my plan? What am I waiting for? Who am I, and where am I going? These are the questions I need to answer so I can get on the course and realize my destiny rather than being a drifter. Don't get caught in life's drift. Be intentional and strategic about your destiny. I've declared that I will spend the next 20 years leaning forward, significantly impacting myself and everyone I encounter. How about you? Are you drifting? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I have often found myself stuck in a situation where I have yet to measure up to the world's standards. In school so many years ago, I measured myself against the grades of others and usually found myself being left behind. I would be hyper-critical and focus on my limitations. At times, I considered myself unintellectual and limited in my abilities. Because my thinking was fixed, I could not rise above my supposed intellectual skills. However, as I pursued my education over time, I could get excellent grades despite my previous beliefs. In Carol Dweck's book Mindset, I am fascinated by her distinction between fixed and growth mindsets. Dweck reports people with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities and intelligence are static traits. They think you are born with a talent or not, and no amount of effort will change that. This mindset leads to a fear of failure and a tendency to avoid challenges. Dweck notes that those with fixed mindsets often feel threatened by the success of others, viewing it as evidence of their inadequacy. Early on, this description fits me perfectly. In contrast, Dweck's concept of a growth mindset is based on the belief that dedication and hard work can develop abilities and intelligence. People with growth mindsets embrace challenges, persist in the face of setbacks, and see effort as a path to mastery. She emphasizes that those with growth mindsets are likelier to achieve their full potential because they view failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Carol Dweck's research offers profound insights into how my mindsets can shape my life. By understanding and adopting a growth mindset, I can unlock my potential and embrace a lifelong journey of learning and improvement. I have found that any negative thinking or conversation sets me in a fixed mindset. Resilience and the search for opportunity point me to growth. How about you? Do you need to shift your mindset and transform your approach to challenges? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp #blindspots #mindset #mindsetmatters #growthmindset #fixedmindset

Oh wow, I don't know about you, but I grapple with being judgmental. I quickly categorize, separate, and compare—actions that often stem from my pride and a need to feel superior. [Big Bad Blind Spot] I am bombarded with diverse perspectives and unique experiences. I see and witness many things I would never think or say. Adopting the mantra "Be curious, not judgmental" can significantly alter how I interact with my surroundings and the people within them. This simple yet profound approach encourages me to embrace openness and curiosity, leading to more prosperous and empathetic relationships and a greater understanding of this complex world. My judgment often shuts down conversation and exploration. It puts a full stop where there might have been an opportunity. On the other hand, curiosity opens up a dialogue. It invites a story that is rich with different shades and colors. How can I judge another without walking in their sandals? Curiosity drives me to ask questions, seek understanding, and explore the reasons behind people's actions and beliefs. This demystifies misconceptions and reveals the richness of human experience. Replacing judgment with curiosity teaches me about others, the world, and myself, fostering empathy and personal growth. It also paves the way for genuine, meaningful conversations, which are the foundation of solid and healthy relationships. Choosing to be curious is a conscious decision to challenge my beliefs and biases and open myself to new ideas and experiences. It is a commitment to personal growth and a pledge to contribute to a more understanding and less judgmental world. I must continue to remind myself to be curious, not judgmental. It's about making the world a little less harsh and a little more forgiving, one question at a time. How about you? Can you "be curious, not judgmental?" Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Often, I catch myself wanting to save, lose, or produce more, and these aspirations tend to float around in my head. To alleviate this, I turn to the phrase, "If you want to change something, measure it." By tracking my activities, I gain a clear view of where my time, effort, and resources are spent, enabling me to redirect my efforts more effectively. In my book, "Blind Spots," the chapter titled "The Weekly Display" illustrates a powerful point echoed by Jim Rohn: small, deliberate changes over time can lead to incredible outcomes. This is all about maintaining focus and adopting a purposeful and strategic approach towards achieving one's goals. If I am looking to make a change, I track it to measure it! This principle is deeply ingrained across various fields, from business to personal development, and it's a simple yet powerful tool in the quest for transformation. Whether I aim to enhance productivity, lose weight, or refine a process, measuring lays down a foundation for monitoring progress over time. The act of measuring can influence the behavior of people being measured. Known as the Hawthorne Effect—the phenomenon where individuals modify an aspect of their behavior in response to their awareness of being observed—measurement can lead to significant improvements. In a work setting, when employees know that specific metrics are being measured, they are more likely to improve these metrics consciously. Measurements mirror the current situation, eliminating guesses and assumptions and replacing them with solid data and facts. For example, a business that aims to improve customer satisfaction must first understand current levels through surveys and feedback. This data then provides a benchmark which all future improvements can be measured, ensuring targeted and effective enhancements. In personal endeavors like weight loss, the same principle holds. By consistently tracking metrics such as weight, calorie intake, and exercise progress, individuals can clearly understand their progress, celebrate targets attained, and see how much further they need to go. How about you? Is there something you need to measure? Watch for the blind spots. Below is link to download your Weekly Display: https://tinyurl.com/2hkz7ps6 Below is link to download Weekly Display filled out for example: https://tinyurl.com/mwhmf44f Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Wow, she raised six of us, each about two years apart. From when the oldest was born to when the youngest graduated, she spent nearly 30 years actively parenting. Although she was a stay-at-home mom initially, she worked for the majority of those years and afterwards. She devoted herself tirelessly, giving everything she could. She rarely complained while managing a restaurant all those years and spending most of her long days on her feet. Her selflessness was indeed a sacrifice. Although our family wasn't religious, Mom quietly and respectfully ensured we knew about Jesus, providing us with that foundational belief. Thank you, mom. I remember the night she passed away. I was on a business trip in central Texas. That evening, we dined at a charming little restaurant. The waitress there reminded me so much of mom. She hustled around, balancing more plates than seemed feasible, serving everyone efficiently while remaining engaged. As I admired her flow while working so diligently, I did not know Mom had passed. Looking back, it felt as though my mom had appeared to say goodbye, assuring me she would always be with me. It was an emotional yet beautiful dinner. Today, I reflect on how mom was tirelessly hardworking, selfless, dedicated, and loved each of us equally. She weathered our mistakes, shortcomings, and the moments we let her down. Yet, despite her high expectations for us, she was always quick to forgive. Mom was the unsung hero of our lives. She was our first teacher, our confidante, and our staunchest supporter. She expected much from us, and it was all for the better. Her influence profoundly shaped who we are.  Mom had an incredible capacity to nurture and heal. Whether mending a broken toy or a broken heart, Mom had a gentle, healing touch that made everything feel better.  During the hard times, she was there with reassurance, saying, "It will be okay." Those words continue to ring in my mind. I love you, Mom, miss you terribly, and will always be grateful for your influence on my life. How about you? Is there something you need to tell your mom before it's too late? Watch for the blind spots. Thank you for your feedback, please like, share and comment. I appreciate it. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

My voice is not merely a tool for speaking; it's a powerful instrument of influence and leadership at home and in the workplace. Using my voice can inspire trust and respect or foster discord and dissatisfaction. Whether I know it or not, my voice does go with them. At home, my communication style significantly shapes the emotional climate of our family. As a pivotal figure in the household, how I use my voice to guide, support and affirm plays a crucial role in strengthening our bonds and fostering a nurturing environment. My words can empower my family members, aiding their development into confident and resilient individuals. It's important to reflect on whether my communication is clear and consistent, calm, and supportive, or if it sometimes carries undertones of negativity, control, or harshness. In the workplace, the tone of my voice profoundly impacts my team's culture and overall morale. As a leader, the way I communicate can either build confidence and drive productivity or create chaos and dissent. By using my voice positively and clearly, I lead by example, creating a collaborative and creative environment. Conversely, negative communication can lead to confusion and undermine team cohesion. I need to harness the power of my voice to foster a sense of unity and shared purpose among team members. The voice that 'goes with' our family members or colleagues can be a beacon of encouragement or a shadow of negativity. In both settings, the power of my voice lies in its ability to affect change and drive positive outcomes. When I am fully aware that my voice will go with you, I feel responsible for giving my best. How about you? As you send your voice to others, what do they take away? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback, please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Too often, I find myself in an awkward situation where I need to make quick decisions. After I began my career as a therapist, I had an office in Lake Jackson, TX. One morning, I was talking to a couple. They were talking about their circumstances, which was very difficult for them. I found myself jumping past the story's teller and began to offer opportunities for resolution. After demonstrating my expertise, I heard the end of their story, which changed my perspective on the problem and solution. [Blind spot] Had I fully listened to their story, they would have felt, heard, and appreciated rather than interrupted and devalued; I would have talked about something entirely different. How embarrassing. Any time I make a mistake like that, I want to take it back. How would I do it if I could go back and do this differently? This question creates a learning opportunity for me. When I experience this kind of situation or see another make this blunder, I ask, "If I could go back and do this again, "do-over," how would I do it differently? It will not help me in the current situation, but I can process it as a learning opportunity because situations and events reappear. I get out my 3 X 5 note cards to overcome these embarrassing situations or conversations. At the top of each card, I write what someone might say or do and how I would respond underneath. I get another card and do the same. I write as many cards as I can on the subject. This prevents me from ambush or surprise comments and allows me to prepare for the future and make informed choices next time. It reinforces my ability to learn from mistakes and adapt, increasing my self-assurance for future endeavors. Each do-over is a chance to refine my skills, develop as a person, and enhance my readiness for whatever comes next. How about you? Can you learn from your mistakes by processing a "do-over”? Watch for the blind spots. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Please like and share. Thanks. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. You will discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

For the longest time, I was unaware that pride was a blind spot for me, intricately linked with my ego and emotional survival. Dominated by my need to be right and in control, my thinking was driven by a compulsion to demonstrate my expertise.  Little did I recognize that others around me feel wrong when I'm right and others feel controlled when I'm in control. Wow, I don't like to feel wrong or controlled. [Blind spot] Yet I put others in that experience. Pride is that emotion associated with a heightened sense of self-esteem and satisfaction derived from my accomplishments or the accomplishments of those I am closely connected to. Pride has many meanings. I can be proud of my family, team, or achievements. However, when pride causes me to appear arrogant, haughty, elite, or holier than thou, it becomes a significant problem. It was natural for me to compare myself to others and boast about my accomplishments. Little did I recognize the impact it had on myself and others. Today, I focus on humility, a personal quality characterized by a lack of arrogance or an absence of ego. It involves recognizing and accepting my limitations and imperfections while also valuing the worth and contributions of others. Unlike pride, which often focuses on my self-celebration and sometimes self-importance, humility is more about maintaining a realistic perspective of my importance in relation to the broader aspects of life. Humility involves an accurate and occasionally sober self-assessment, acknowledging strengths and weaknesses without undue emphasis on either. While humility may include recognizing one's limitations, it doesn't mean a lack of confidence. Instead, humble people possess a quiet confidence that doesn't need to be loudly proclaimed; they are secure in their values and capabilities without being boastful. Being humble also means being open to new ideas, feedback, and possibly making mistakes. Humility allows me to be teachable, adaptable, and flexible. Better yet, it helps me to laugh at myself. How about you? Can you replace some pride with humility? Watch for the blind spots. Thanks for your feedback. Please like, share and comment. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp