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Life is more enjoyable if you steer clear of other people's business. This is a good place to start looking for [Blind Spots] Discovering and overcoming hidden blind spots is a vulnerable process. Trust me, I have been completely unaware of destructive habits and behaviors which were causing me problems in relationships. Let's start making a conscious choice to steer clear of other people's business and see just how enjoyable and freeing it can be when we mind our own. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #depression #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #counselingworks #inspiration

Pride is what you feed on to justify to yourself why you didn’t get what you wanted. [ Blind Spot ] Blind spots cause enormous difficulties because we are unaware of their influence on our behavior. At the end of the day, all I can do is change my reaction, response, and behavior. No one else can do that for me or make me do it. Discovering and exposing hidden blind spots doesn't happen overnight. If you will consistently change a few small actions or behaviors daily you will create successful new habits. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself NOW AVAILABLE in "eBook" format on Amazon kindle. #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching

Often, we desire to hang on to the truth we know, seeking to prove the other wrong, as opposed to graciously considering their differing perspective or point of view. I can respect your point of view and keep mine also. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself NOW AVAILABLE in "eBook" format on Amazon kindle. #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching #respect #truth

We do not have to make a decision for change to happen. It happens with or without our consent. While every relationship experiences change over time, not all relationships experience growth. Why? Growth is optional, it only happens with our consent and when we make the decision. We must keep looking for the blind spots, our finest discovery in establishing emotional maturity and growth. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching

Ugh, that pesky "little light." Did it make you pause and cause a little anxiety? You have already got enough going on, right?! Now, this?! Acting out of my anxiety is what I call “going out of control to gain control.” Have you ever gone out of control to gain control? I have many times and didn’t know it. My intentions had to do with controlling others or a situation in which I had no control. I sometimes say God did not give me a “check engine” light. If I did have a check engine light that showed my anxiety is overriding my intellect, it would be easy for me to recognize, disengage, and be sure that I do not cause more damage to myself, the other person, or the relationship. When I feel stressed or attacked, it brings rise for me to need to get bigger and louder. Going out of control to gain control takes me out of the logical, rational part of my brain. It ensures I will become much less "emotionally mature" and feel I must resort to "survival mode." Now I recognize God did give me a “check engine light.” Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. I can begin to seek self-control and identify what is going on with my body, and mind. I have to remember the only thing I have control of is me. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #fridaymotivation #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader

Looking back, I could rationalize, minimize, and justify anything. [BLIND SPOT] The more hidden the blind spots, the more I say and do things that I will feel remorse about later. People who rationalize, minimize, and justify are frustrating to attempt to communicate with and do not realize it. They utilize the 'filibuster,' an excessive use of words to deflect meaning or place decoys that draw the focus on the perceived accusation. I see them as slippery fish, wiggling, struggling, jerking, trying to get away without connecting. I have found in myself and others that acting more emotional than intellectual during the height of anxiety causes regretful actions and decisions. In 'anxiety up' situations, we need to stop, focus and gain control as quickly as possible—not discussing anything further until we feel more in control. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader

I encourage you to stay on the curious side, not the fixing side. I do not want the ones that I love to be sad, in a negative mood, or emotional. Too many times 'fixing' is my intent when I see someone suffering. If their emotional state makes me emotional, I may want to help override their emotions by fixing or offering suggestions to get them out of that emotional state. [BLIND SPOT] Asking what I call 'gently curious questions' is often a fun and beneficial way to bring something to the table which causes their mood to shift. 'Gently curious questions' softly probe the thoughts and ideas of a person in a way that causes them to learn more about themselves. It allows them to drill down and get to the deeper meaning of the circumstances that may be contributing to their problems or conditions. A few examples of GCQ's are: • What do you need from me? • I’m confused, can you elaborate? • Help me understand? 'Gently curious questions' gives me knowledge I do not obtain if I am always trying to fix people. Stay on the curious side! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people

Let us look at a situation where my 5-year-old son was being overly active at the breakfast table. There was great laughter and an interchange of fun conversation. Suddenly he accidentally knocks over a glass of milk. Regardless of how I act, in the next 10 seconds, he will remember this moment for a lifetime. So how will he feel when this spilled milk situation ends? It will depend on how I express my feelings toward him. The milk spilled...no one can go back and unring this bell. Nothing can change the circumstance, so do I express my frustration, and react by going out of control to gain control, [Blind Spot], or do I 'respond' in my rational, logical, reasonable mind, and use this as a learning opportunity to grow, teach, reinforce, and correct in such a way that he can learn from it and do so with confidence? Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

You remember the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz? If he was out in the elements or neglected and not protected he would rust. The longer that rust exists without attention, the more damage it causes. If left unmaintained, it will ruin. I call ‘resentments’ rust in relationships. This is a term I have coined to compare relationships that are in trouble. Rust is silent and destructive. Resentments are the same. Poor communication in our culture seems to me to be the largest contributor to creating this kind of rust. Resentments in relationships create avoidance, distance, and misunderstandings. [Blind Spot] If poor communication creates a rusty relationship, then it stands to reason healthy relationships are a result of honest open feedback. What was it that the Tin Man needed to resolve his rusty situation? OIL!! I like to say that the ‘oil’ that prevents rust (resentments) in relationships consists of honesty, compassion, openness, and emotionally mature conflict resolution. Let us look for opportunities to connect, rather than create more resentment and corrosion. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

In my practice, I notice families are fractured by their many differing points of view. Some are more focused on themselves than the family. Unity and cohesion are missing. They start to blame, condemn and become critical of their perception of family members and situations. [Blind Spot] When this arises, I like the idea of utilizing the “spirit of the family.” The “spirit of the family” might be words like respect, peace, harmony, joy, love, care, or any word that the family could rally around to encourage and create solidarity. When the constructive idea of the “spirit of the family” comes along, there is a choice in the way the family interacts, communicates, perceives, and feels toward one another. Knowing that with every breath, and every word spoken, we are intentionally choosing the potential outcome of family members to feel safe, secure, and healthy. The "spirit of the family" creates a household where we, “stop examining each 'them', and start examining ourselves.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

‘Why’ in relationships is caustic. We can be quick to ask the ‘why’ questions. "Why did you not call?" "Why are you late?" "Why are you looking at me that way?" Did it make you feel a little defensive reading those? It's because the ‘why’ question is charged with frustration, emotion, hidden agendas, and sometimes anger. It is cultural to look at the other person rather than to look inside. [Blind Spot] ‘Why’ provokes and puts people on the defensive. ‘Why’ is asking for justification that cannot remedy the anxiety being expressed. What can we do instead? Let’s flip the script on the ‘why’ questions. Rather than saying, "Why are you late?" I could say—I was worried, I wanted to hear your voice, I missed you, I was afraid something could have happened to you—showing you care and empathize. Small adjustments that bring radical change in relationships. Flip the script today, the change you experience will be amazing. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

I have found that acting more emotional than intellectual during the height of anxiety causes regretful actions and decisions. The more anxious I am the less intellectual. The more intellectual I am the less anxious. I view anxiety and intellect as inversely proportionate. When one goes up, the other goes down. The key to this concept is knowing when anxiety has overridden intellect. When you find yourself in this situation, remember, that you are in peak performance to make the best, healthiest, most productive choices when your intellect is equal to your emotions. Operating within this “balance” enables you to master your skills in decision-making. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset