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Occasionally situations arise and we look back and see that they didn't turn out the way we would have liked. It is easy to feel frustrated or ill-prepared when these circumstances arise. The other day I was in the mall needing to get a new screen saver on my phone. I was shopping on “no tax on back-to-school items”, so the mall was packed. I was under the weather and feeling bad physically. I had tested for fever and covid—both were negative. Did I mention I had already dealt with the parking lot, and it was awful? Needless to say, by the time I got to my destination, I was out of patience. I believe that the person I was speaking with shared my frustration. I was irritated when we first started talking, and he was too. There were obviously more “emotions” driving our conversation than intellect. At the end of our transaction, I was asked to pay 20 more dollars than what I thought we had first agreed. After a round of frustrating words, I began to calm down and pay him what he was asking. He gave me a $20 discount and I gave him a $20 tip. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have been better prepared to deal with this situation without allowing my emotions to get the best of me. I could have taken a self-inventory and identified my potential short fuse. I could have presented myself in a way that made me look good and made him look good also. I love the question, ‘if I could go back and do it again’ because generally situations like this repeat themselves. Anytime I look at going back and doing it again I prepare myself for the next time. I can learn from the incident rather than go into “self-beat-up mode.” It is easy to get caught up in a relationship and say or do something that we feel was haphazard and perhaps not as intellectual or spiritual as we would have liked. When we look at the question ‘if I could go back and do it again, here's how I'd do it differently’ we open the opportunity to either, 1) go back and re-deal with that situation or 2) prepare ourselves for the next circumstance that may arise like this one. Healthy questions like this can posture us better for results in our future experiences. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #mondaymotivation #mondaymorning #mondayvibes #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #counselingworks #communicationiskey #leadershipcoaching #buildingrelationships

I was privileged to work in a hospital setting getting the experience of all kinds of psychological matters. I facilitated multifamily groups of adolescents, children, and their parents. These children and adolescents were there for issues of behavior, drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety, or other circumstances that cause life and families to be out of balance. Many wonderful things happen in multifamily groups that do not happen in regular family groups. In multifamily groups, the observers in the family can see the things that cause other people’s pain points and problems. This observation allows them to identify their own blind spots because they can see things that other people are doing that they cannot see in themselves or in their own families. About six adolescents and their families were present on a Saturday morning, and during this time, the adolescents kept the families informed. After the group began, a father who had arrived late interrupted by asking his son how he did on his algebra test. The boy replied, “47.” Immediately, the dad almost left his chair and began to berate the boy about not studying, not being engaged, failing in life, not having his priorities straight, and on and on and on. [BLIND SPOT] I noticed the boy wanted to say something but did not. I asked the young man what he had to say. Initially, he refused to reveal anything, but later stated, "I just wanted to tell my dad that 47 was the highest grade in the class." A hush fell on the group. The father sat back, his chin on his chest, and said nothing else. Sometimes it is easy to overreact or fly off the handle. Sometimes we don’t listen well. Sometimes our intention of being a great parent gets overridden by our emotions. This dad is not a bad dad. He genuinely wants his son to succeed, but he was unaware of how much he was impeding his son's success. This kind of sustained parental behavior is a good example of how a child or an adolescent’s spirit gets broken. This creates the opportunity for the son to feel worthless and go through life with that miserable feeling of I don't matter, I’m not enough, I could never please dad, boss, spouse, or myself. Family relationships are greatly impacted by times of conflict, anxiety, or chaos. To build a better family, we must include the emotional effects that permeate all social systems. We must also be aware of the emotions of others and deal with them appropriately. Failure to do so may cause the feeling of being controlled by others or create an opportunity for conflict. An emotionally mature family is not a collection of emotionally mature family members. Read that again. Just because you have emotionally mature individuals does not ensure an emotionally mature family. Every family experiences some level of underlying conflict and chronic anxiety, and if these issues aren't resolved, the family weakens and deteriorates. Families are intricate social systems that require self-control, especially on the part of the parents. All family members must exercise self-control in order for their families to be healthy and emotionally mature. A healthier family is the result of emotionally mature decision-making, increased creativity, original thinking, and higher morale. It promotes participation, cooperation, and collaboration and encourages each member to realize his or her full potential. Best of all, it builds trust. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #growthmindset #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #bettereveryday #counselingworks #communicationiskey #marriagefamilytherapist #marriagecounseling #leadershipcoaching #buildingrelationships #fridaymotivation #fridaythoughts #familytherapy #betterparenting

Yes, I recall the days driving my “beater car” down life's highway in San Angelo, Tx. The fenders were bent and dinged, the paint was rusted, and a couple of windows were cracked. It was a sight to behold. My “beater” bounced off guardrails, occasionally hitting the gravel just off the edge of the pavement, and I would hear it bang on the inside of the fenders. Now and again, my “beater” would skid into a ditch, and once or twice it had me headed in the opposite direction. In my “old beater,” this was normal travel. I blamed the guardrails for being too close to the fenders. I blamed the ditches and the potholes and even other drivers. And my "beater;" well, it only got worse for the wear. People didn't want to ride with me and when they did, they looked at me as if I were the problem. Really?! It made me take a closer look at my "beater," with its dings, scratches, dents, and cracks, and it hit me; the steering, braking, and gas pedal all shared one thing: ME. The car I drove down life’s highway was a “beater” because I failed to recognize "blind spots" that were negatively impacting me. My lack of self-control, faulting others, and ignoring road signs and speed limits all created obstacles along life's highway that were meant to keep me safe. I am personally responsible for the losses, tears, and inconveniences because of my recklessness in relationships, and I had to change. Now my contributions to the chaos are much clearer and I can see further ahead since these blind spots have been revealed. You see, blind spots are the things I don’t know I don’t know about myself and how I show up to others. By educating myself on how to navigate life's highway, listening to others, and making life course adjustments along the way, I have traded in my “beater” for a full-size comfortable SUV. It is a sight to behold, it shines and glistens. People smile and even wave at me now or take a lonnnnng look at my new ride. They don’t pass me real fast or look at me scared anymore. LOL Life's highway is now a multi-lane expressway with excellent signage and lighting for night driving. I traded my pride for a splash of humility, and it has been a profitable investment. I have declared that I am "not all that important," and it's nice to be welcomed and appreciated. I yield to others so that we can all get to our destinations safely and enjoy the ride. Yes, I am now “rich” in terms of relationships. What a gift it is to me and others to recognize my blind spots, and yield to them so that life’s highway is a smooth and enjoyable ride. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to comment, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdayvibes #wednesdaymotivation #lifeisahighway #communicationstrategy #HumilityOverPride #humility #sanangelotx #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #communicationiskey #blindspots #marriagefamilytherapist #marriagecounseling

You check your vehicle's tires, oil, and vital fluids for a reason. Unwanted wear and tear can result from a lack of attention. Marriages, also, require upkeep and care. Most couples enter marriage with engines revving and then discover that months or years later the relationship is idling, sputtering, knocking, squealing, stalling, or clunking. Imagine how many breakdowns in love, communication, and patience could have been avoided if a couple had taken the time to address them rather than ignore them. We put it on cruise control far too often, failing to actively seek to meet one another's needs or communicate our own. “We repeat what we don’t repair.” – John Gottman Whether you are just starting out, or you have been in it for a while, I recommend that couples ask these two marriage maintenance questions: 1) What do you need from me that you are not getting? Examples: You used to meet me at the door when I came home from work. I miss your laugh and humor. I liked it when we had a conversation after we went to bed. I miss us eating dinner as a family. It should be used to strengthen the relationship. Simply asking does not guarantee that you will receive it. However, it does provide each with a clear picture of what is missing. 2) What are you not talking about that we need to be talking about? Examples: I was upset after our conversation on Wednesday. I was upset when you forgot to call. I did not tell you how much it cost. I was afraid you would be upset. I was upset that I did not play golf/go shopping. Clearing the air about what was said or not said is critical for healthy relationships. Are you there, can you hear the clunk, sputter, knock, and or squeal? Don’t wait until the “check engine” light comes on. Preventative measures let you know if there are any issues that need to be addressed to avoid major problems later on. I suggest that no rebuttal or excuses are entertained until at least the next day. The possible connection can be thwarted by trying to prove the other wrong rather than listening to eliminate concerns or requests. Start talking more, sharing more, and living more—keep it tuned up. Maintaining your marriage requires the same attention to detail as maintaining your car and ensures it runs for a long time. I hope this helps you travel more happy miles in your marriage. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to ensure it is you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #communicationiskey #blindspots #marriagefamilytherapist #marriagecounseling #mondaymotivation #mondaythoughts #mondayvibes

It is safe to say that everyone wants life to be a little simpler. No one lays their head down at night and thinks, "You know, I wish today had been way more complicated and chaotic." Right!?? We know firsthand how quickly a day can throw a “plot twist.” It can throw instant chaos into work schedules, kids’ activities, household upkeep, and literally just trying to figure out what is for dinner—tonight. I hear it frequently, “Our lives are out of control, and we just cannot seem to get a grip; we are always gunning after the next “to do.” I utilize a principle to simplify the expectations and start looking for ways to simplify what is right in front of us, day by day so the haze can lift and the joy return. I call it “Calendar Night.” Usually, it is best when it occurs on Sunday evening when parents take the calendar and look at what each family member must do for the upcoming week. At this point, it is easy to talk about who will take care of what. Are there any events the parents can do together? It is time to look at any irregularities in work schedules that cause shifts in time or length of workdays. This is a good place to establish a date night and set up a time specifically reserved for the couple. The purpose of calendar night is to establish the week; it is strictly a 'plan' and is not set in stone. If any deviations occur, the family must be included. It is a good thing not only to have a mutual electronic calendar but also to have a printout posted on the refrigerator or in the family room where it is accessible by either parent or the children. After the week is planned, I recommend that you go out for six to eight weeks in general and look for upcoming events such as birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and other types of celebrations in the nuclear or extended family. Calendar night will keep you from running through your house trying to do EVERYTHING to only doing the IMPORTANT things. The first step…is deciding what you want to make time for. “Either you run the day, or the day runs you."—Jim Rohn Calendar Night will assist your family in being more intentional every day to execute, grow, and remain organized. I've discovered that it's a great time to start talking about upcoming events and start incorporating them into your conversations. Start your Calendar Night, the fall is gaining on us and setting priorities and boundaries will help alleviate stress and create forward momentum. Gather as a family on Sundays to ensure that none of you are sabotaged by unexpected appointments or events. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. P.S. This isn't just for families; you can apply it to your life, relationships, and business. I've made a couple of printable pdf calendars to get you started. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to make sure it is really you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #fridaymood #fridaymotivation #bettereveryday #blindspots #counselingworks #marriageandfamilytherapy #calendarnight #coachingtips #simplifyyourlife #simplifylife #communicationiskey #blindspots #marriagefamilytherapist

Imagine a large limb falls from a tree into a flowing river, as the limb floats the river, it gets stuck on rocks or by other low-hanging limbs. It could get pushed over into the non-flowing water and there remain for an inordinate period of time. It may become waterlogged and sink, never to go any farther down the river. It could be caught up in small eddies or whirlpools and be detained. The large branch in the flowing river is interesting because it sometimes represents us driving down life's highway. Without knowing where we're going or how we'll get there, we unconsciously fail to recognize the things that are pushing us off course. We get held back by circumstances or by people who only want to use us for their benefit. Without knowing who we are and where we are going, it's easy to get off track, snagged, interrupted, detoured, or caught up in things we don't want to happen. We are frequently pushed or pulled into situations that do not suit us. “Drifting, without aim or purpose, is the first cause of failure.” —Napoleon Hill I like the idea of having “identified targets” on life's highway. I want to know the things I want to accomplish so I can make the best use of my time and energy. I need to identify the things that suck time and energy from my goals. Mindless television, youtube videos, social media, and so many other things are what can hold me back or detour me from my destiny. Don’t get caught up in life’s drift. If I could restart my life's journey, I would first figure out what kind of lifestyle I want to live before deciding on a job. Then I'd figure out what kind of education I'd need to get ready for that job. I would ask what I want. What's my plan? What am I waiting for? Who am I and where am I going? Be intentional and strategic about your destiny. I have declared that I will live the next 20 years leaning forward making a big difference in all I come into contact with. Come with me! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to make sure it is really you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #WednesdayWisdom #wednesdaymotivation #counselingworks #communicationiskey #drifting #blindspots #marriagefamilytherapist #napoleonhill

Do you draw me in or repel me? The way you present yourself can either make you a larger-than-life figure in your story, or a background character. Some walk into a room and instantly put everyone at ease. Others seem to make you grit your teeth and eyes roll no matter what they do. School is gearing up; some have started, and others are getting ready. I am reminded of the Fifth-grade teacher who greeted his students with special handshakes every day before they enter class. This teacher not only puts his students at ease, but they establish their relationship from the first moment of class. I don’t know about you but that makes my heart smile. Life is precious and we are each faced with pain, suffering, shame, loss, and difficulty. Who doesn’t have their cross to bear? But in it all, people still need acknowledgment, recognition, and appreciation. Your ability to receive me, or others, will either make us feel special (and want to stay) or like a blockhead (and want to leave). This acknowledgment represents the giving and receiving in relationships; it is how I perceive myself in your presence. Acknowledgment is powerful. We must pay attention to all that is said and done; even what is unsaid, because it creates the “feedback loop.” When I am not well received in your presence, I can be left feeling rejected, dissed, or belittled and the feedback loop cannot be completed. There is interference and it can lead to disconnection. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. When you do not receive and acknowledge them fully, you train them to stop showing up for the relationship. Listen, we are all busy running off to this or that and have a LOT we need to get done. As stated in the quote below, those are not the things that are remembered, it is how you made them feel. "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel" - Maya Angelou. We will make mistakes. We are human, and things happen. That does not give us the license to treat each other poorly or make people feel less in our presence. In close personal relationships, we must ask how we want them to feel about themselves in our presence. If we want them to feel good, we must give them that experience. Otherwise, they will slip away and we will not know why. Do you attract or repel? [Blind Spot] At the end of the day, as trite as it may sound, follow the big playbook, “Treat others just as you want to be treated.” Luke 6:31 CEV We can lift others up with one message, one action – one person at a time. How will I feel about myself when I am in your presence? Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Scroll down to sign up and publish your comments. Click "Sign Up" and log in with "your" email and password. You will receive a confirmation email to make sure it is really you and avoid any discrepancies. Once you are signed up you will not have to sign up again, only log in if necessary. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #mondaymood #counselingworks #mayaangelou #feedback #marriagefamilytherapist #treatothersthewayyouwanttobetreated #treatotherswell

I am thrilled to announce the launch of my site, www.jerrydclark.com, and the launch of my new book, Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself. I have uncovered life-altering strategies, principles, and methods that have empowered and changed lives. My desire is to distill these insights to impassion you to reach your full potential without limits. I want to challenge you to drop the struggles of the past, lean forward, and build a better you. I refuse to sit back and allow life to happen but to stay heavily involved with making a positive difference for myself and others who will accept the challenge to look at their blind spots. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself Get Your FREE PDF ACTION GUIDE When you read or hear something of value to you, write it down. Take action to keep them where you can go over them again and again. This action guide will assist you in this manner as you explore the concepts in Blind Spots in Relationships. It will be your companion guide for growth, change, and emotional maturity. We have designed it for this reason: writing things down helps you to clarify and locate exactly what is happening the moment you are going through it. ​ *Action Guide Download 8.5x11, 88pg Printable pdf.

Life is more enjoyable if you steer clear of other people's business. This is a good place to start looking for [Blind Spots] Discovering and overcoming hidden blind spots is a vulnerable process. Trust me, I have been completely unaware of destructive habits and behaviors which were causing me problems in relationships. Let's start making a conscious choice to steer clear of other people's business and see just how enjoyable and freeing it can be when we mind our own. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #MentalToughness #servantleadership #depression #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #counselingworks #inspiration

Pride is what you feed on to justify to yourself why you didn’t get what you wanted. [ Blind Spot ] Blind spots cause enormous difficulties because we are unaware of their influence on our behavior. At the end of the day, all I can do is change my reaction, response, and behavior. No one else can do that for me or make me do it. Discovering and exposing hidden blind spots doesn't happen overnight. If you will consistently change a few small actions or behaviors daily you will create successful new habits. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself NOW AVAILABLE in "eBook" format on Amazon kindle. #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching

Often, we desire to hang on to the truth we know, seeking to prove the other wrong, as opposed to graciously considering their differing perspective or point of view. I can respect your point of view and keep mine also. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself NOW AVAILABLE in "eBook" format on Amazon kindle. #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching #respect #truth

We do not have to make a decision for change to happen. It happens with or without our consent. While every relationship experiences change over time, not all relationships experience growth. Why? Growth is optional, it only happens with our consent and when we make the decision. We must keep looking for the blind spots, our finest discovery in establishing emotional maturity and growth. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #inspiration #leader #mindset #blindspots #leadershipcoaching