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Zig Ziglar said, “If you are in it, get in it. If you are not, get out.”  Those words cut right through the fog of hesitation. Dabbling drains energy. It creates the illusion of progress while leaving me stuck in the same place.   I’ve noticed this in my own life. I’ll say I want to do something, like writing the rest of the year-end plan. If I approach it with a hit-and-miss attitude, nothing happens. The time I spend “thinking about it” feels wasted, and my energy is scattered. The truth is simple: indecision costs more than failure.   Darren Hardy offers a powerful solution for accomplishing tasks. Set aside blocks of time with no distractions.  Not partial time, not multitasking time, but focused, sacred time. No phones. No people. No interruptions. I need to protect that space like my life depends on it, because in many ways, my success does.   I’ve found that just one uninterrupted hour a day produces more momentum than a week of dabbling. In that one hour, my mind sharpens, my ideas flow, and I actually finish things. The results are tangible and motivating, and the sense of accomplishment fuels even more progress.   Here’s the question:  where in your life are you dabbling? A relationship? A project? A dream you keep talking about? Dabbling is a slow leak; commitment is a floodgate.   I need to step fully in or step out and free my energy. Halfway in is no way forward. One focused hour on a single project every day can transform my year, and perhaps my life.   Watch for the blind spots.     Think you’ve got it all figured out? 🤔 Your blind spots might have other plans. Dive into Blind Spots in Relationships  and find out what you don’t know you don’t know. 💡 Get copy today. 📚 http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Two friends attended the memorial service of Charlie Kirk; a young man whose mission left an indelible mark. His passion for Christ and his vision for our nation sparked something larger than himself. Even in his passing, he built memories that will ripple across lives for years to come. That is the power of a life well-lived; it creates memories that cannot be erased.   But building memories isn’t only for the big, public moments. It happens every day, often in ways we overlook. My grandchildren create memories daily with their laughter, their curiosity, and even their mischief. Yet if I don’t capture them, those treasures risk fading into the blur of time.   That’s why I value journaling. Words on a page can resurrect a moment years later with astonishing clarity. Add a picture, and suddenly the colors return. Add a short video, and you can hear the laughter again, see the sparkle in their eyes, and feel the warmth of the day. Journaling, paired with photos and videos, becomes a time capsule, a gift to our future selves and to those who will come after us.   Memories, big and small, drift away unless we give them a place to live. Recording them doesn’t just preserve them; it honors the life that created them. Without that effort, the wonders of life, as vibrant as they are in the moment, too easily get left behind. I am challenged to capture the moments, big and small, and not let the great things fade into oblivion.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today, http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often hear people talk about slowing down 🛑, stepping aside 🚶, or finishing their work 🏁 as if life has an expiration date on usefulness. But finding strength through struggles  has taught me one truth: I am not through yet.  💪 As I look back at my journey, a Marine Corps veteran 🇺🇸 with life lessons from service , thirty years in telecommunications 📡, decades as a counselor 🗣️, and now a coach 🎯, author ✍️, and speaker 🎤, I know this: resilience in everyday life  keeps me moving forward. There is still work to be done. The kind of meaningful work in every season of life  that shapes souls, mends relationships, and lights a spark 🔥 in people who thought their fire had gone out. This work doesn’t depend on my age, but on my willingness to keep showing up with heart, clarity, and courage. It’s about choosing to leave a legacy that inspires. Every day gives me 24 hours to trade. Some days I get it right, some days I stumble, but every day is another chance to learn 📚, to speak 🗣️, to write ✍️, to encourage 🙌, and to challenge. That’s the essence of life coaching for personal growth; choosing to show up and create impact that lasts. My calling isn’t about polishing a résumé 📄 or building a monument 🗿. It’s about serving, guiding, and leaving tools behind for others to pick up when I no longer can. I don’t want to arrive at my last day with empty hours behind me. I want to be doing something meaningful, even in the final stretch 🏃. Writing words that outlive me 📝. Creating books that inspire personal growth . Speaking to someone who needs a voice of hope. Sitting across from a person who needs to be heard. The work is never finished ♾️ because people are constantly unfolding. Every season of life offers new chances to learn, share, and grow. If I continue to pour out what I’ve been given, my life becomes more than a timeline. It becomes a legacy  👑, a story that continues to inspire ✨, encourage 💛, and uplift long after I’m gone. I am not through yet.   How about you❓ 👀 Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today, http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I’ve noticed something about life: I usually find what I am looking for. 🔍✨ If I’m dissatisfied 😤, I don’t have to search far to prove my case. The world seems eager to hand me evidence that supports my frustration. If I believe my job is unfair, I can notice every slight and every oversight. If I’m convinced the economy is broken 📉, I can line up articles, posts, and statistics that validate my view. If I think I can’t hold a job 🙅‍♂️, I can point to bosses 👔, coworkers 👥, or circumstances to substantiate my blame. The reverse is also true. If I choose to look for meaning in my work 💡, I’ll find reasons to like it. If I decide I’m capable, I’ll notice moments that affirm my ability. If I’m searching for kindness 💛, I’ll see it in the smile of a stranger 😊 or the patience of a friend 🤝. The mind 🧠 is a powerful filter. It doesn’t just record reality, it interprets it. Every day, I’m given both shadows 🌑 and light ☀️, and I lean into whichever one I’m focused on. When I say, “I can”, opportunities and encouragement come into view. When I say, “I can’t” 🚫, the world seems to echo back agreement. This doesn’t mean that hardships aren’t real. They are 💔. But even in the middle of them, I still get to choose what I’m scanning for 🔭: more reasons to quit ❌, or more reasons to keep going ⏩. I create or find what I am looking for. 🔎 That truth humbles me 🙏 because it reminds me that my perspective shapes my reality 🌍. If I want more hope , I get to look for it. If I want more courage 🦁, I get to notice it. And if I want more joy 🎉, I get to give it a chance to be found. ⚠️ Watch for the blind spots 👀. 👓 Clearing your vision and strengthening your relationships starts with my book, Blind Spots in Relationships . 📘✨ Get your copy today, http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I love the saying; The sun will come up in the morning.  It really speaks to me. There have been times when the darkness felt permanent, wreckage from accidents, storms I couldn’t control, and relationships that seemed to have no answer. In those moments, fear settled in like heavy fog and whispered there was no way out. Yet, again and again, something came to refill the emptiness or pain left behind. A stranger’s kindness. An unexpected call. A fix that appeared hours later. A calm morning after a restless night. Sometimes the rescue took days or months, but it always came. Small mercies became a foundation I could stand on. The image that stays with me is dawn after a storm. The wind may howl, and the rain may pound, but night never refuses to end. The sun shows up, steady and sure. That promise reminds me that circumstances are never final. They’re chapters, not the whole story. Resilience isn’t living without fear. It’s choosing to take one more step when the fog won’t lift. It’s gathering the ordinary things that heal, a word of grace, a meal, a laugh that slips back in, and letting them accumulate. Each one weakens the grip of the dark. When I feel trapped, I remember the mornings I once doubted I’d see. Something always came to ease the hurt. That memory steadies me now. The sun will come up in the morning, and with it, the quiet work of repair. In that light, I find reason to keep going. Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

September is Suicide Prevention Month. It is a time to confront a reality that is painful, complex, and often misunderstood. Suicide is one of the most devastating human tragedies. Some see it as a selfish act, while others know it as the desperate decision of someone who feels they can no longer find a way through their emotional pain. Whatever the perspective, suicide is not just an idea; it is a reality of life and death. The numbers are staggering. According to the CDC’s 2024 statistics, more than 134 people die by suicide every single day in the United States. Among veterans, the numbers are even more haunting: about 21 take their lives every day. These are not just statistics; they are sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, parents, and friends whose absence leaves ripples of grief and unanswered questions. My good friend, David Sanders, knows this pain firsthand. He has bravely written about the suicide of his 16-year-old brother in his newly released book, Bonded: A Brother’s Love .   This is a story of one bullet and a thousand echoes. It is one of the most gripping and unforgettable books I have ever read. David dares to revisit the deepest wound of his life—not only to free himself from its grip, but also to help prevent others from believing that suicide is the only answer. His story is raw, heartbreaking, and necessary. It reminds us that we are often closer to suicide than we realize, and that recognizing the warning signs could save a life. David, who proudly served our country as a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division at Ft Bragg at the age of 17, has now taken on another mission: to use his story to educate, raise awareness, and prevent future tragedies. His book is more than a memoir; it is a call to action.  One life saved means a thousand echoes of hope instead of despair. Watch for the blind spots. You can get David's book, Bonded: A Brother’s Love—One Bullet. A Thousand Echoes. today, https://tinyurl.com/mtz4yr5w 👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today, http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Over coffee the other day, a friend dropped a phrase that stuck with me: rigidly flexible.  At first, it sounded like a contradiction, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how powerful it is.   I remember a couple I worked with years ago. They had been married for over three decades and had weathered the storms of raising kids, career changes, and health scares. The husband was a man of deep conviction. He held firm to his promises, providing for his family, showing up for church every Sunday, and living with honesty. His wife, though, was the more adaptable one, ready to pivot when life didn’t go according to plan. But here’s the beauty: he wasn’t just rigid, and she wasn’t just flexible. Each of them had learned, in their own way, to be both.   One afternoon, they told me about a crisis with their youngest son. He had made a decision that deeply hurt them, violating everything they stood for. The husband was heartbroken, but instead of cutting off his son (rigidity without flexibility), he stood firm in his values while keeping the door of relationship open. “I will not support what you did, ” he told him, “but I will always be your father, and you will always have a place at my table.” That’s rigidly flexible.   It struck me: life constantly tests us with these tensions. Too rigid, and we break under pressure. Too flexible, and we lose our shape. But when we can be rigid in our principles and flexible in our approach, we create both stability and connection.   Maybe today you’re facing a situation where you’re tempted to snap or bend too far. What would it look like to stand tall in your values, but still bend with compassion?   That’s the invitation of being rigidly flexible, a strong spine with a willing heart.   Watch for the blind spots.   👀 Don’t wait to uncover what you don’t know you don’t know! 💡 Blind Spots in Relationships,  get your copy today,  http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Have you heard the phrase “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps?”  I think it’s meant to inspire grit, independence, and personal responsibility. But like many sayings, it carries both wisdom and pitfalls depending on how it’s applied.   On the good side, the idea reminds me that effort matters. It speaks to resilience, that inner determination to keep moving when life knocks me down. I think of times I’ve had to start over, whether in my career, my health, or my relationships. No one else could take my steps for me. I had to muster the courage to take the first steps, make the phone call, or try again after failure. The “bootstraps” message can light a spark, reminding me that while support is valuable, I am ultimately responsible for how I respond to challenges. That’s a healthy kind of ownership.   However, the negative side of the phrase emerges when it’s used to judge or dismiss others. Life doesn’t hand out equal opportunities. Some face systemic barriers, generational poverty, trauma, or health challenges that can’t be solved by “just trying harder.”  Telling someone to pull themselves up when they lack boots, or even straps, can heap shame on top of struggle. It risks ignoring the reality that we often need others, such as mentors, friends, therapy, community, or simply a helping hand.   Another danger is the myth of complete self-reliance. No one truly succeeds alone. Every achievement I can claim was made possible by the efforts of others before me. To act as though I’ve pulled myself up entirely on my own is not just unrealistic; it erases the importance of gratitude and interdependence.   The healthiest way to use the phrase is as an inward reminder, rather than an outward weapon. I can challenge myself to take responsibility for my part, while also recognizing that others may need encouragement, support, or compassion more than a lecture. I find the best way to “pull myself up” is to offer my hand so someone else can stand up beside me.   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Years ago, I stumbled across an idea that changed the way I view relationships. I call it the “Half a Vote Principle.” It’s simple, but not always easy: in every relationship, I only control half the vote. The other half belongs to the other person.   For a long time, I wanted the whole vote. If something wasn’t working, I thought I had to convince, persuade, or even outlast the other person until they agreed with me. You can imagine how well that worked, it led to frustration, distance, and more conflict. Then I realized, if I own half the vote, I also own half the responsibility. That means if I want change, the best place to start is with me.   I remember a time early in my marriage when my wife and I disagreed about finances. I was convinced my way was best. I argued, explained, and re-explained. The more I pressed, the more she resisted. Finally, I stopped. Instead of trying to win her vote, I took responsibility for my half. I asked myself, what can I change in me?  That shift, listening more, softening my tone, and asking her perspective instead of pushing mine, transformed the conversation. We didn’t just solve a financial issue; we strengthened trust.   The Half a Vote Principle works because it’s rooted in humility. When I stop trying to control the outcome and start working on my half, the whole dynamic shifts. Sometimes the other person softens, too. Even if they don’t, I’ve grown.   In every relationship, marriage, friendship, work team, or even with our kids, we each carry half the vote. We can waste energy trying to seize the other half, or we can invest in our own. Taking ownership of my half doesn’t guarantee I’ll get my way, but it does guarantee I’ll grow in patience, maturity, and connection.   This doesn’t mean I always relent, it means I know when to yield and when to hold fast.   When I find myself stuck in an argument or misunderstanding, instead of asking, how can I get them to change?  I ask, what can I do with my half of the vote?   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I love volunteering and being of assistance. Not long ago, I caught myself saying “yes” when everything inside me wanted to say “no.”  I had already committed my day to things that mattered to me, but a friend called asking for help with a project he had put off until the last minute. I hesitated, then gave in. By the time I finished, my own plans were shelved, and my energy was gone.   That night, I thought about what had just happened. “Your procrastination does not create an emergency for me.”  I knew that truth, but I hadn’t lived it. His delay had become my crisis. And the cost wasn’t just time; it was peace of mind. “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.”   I like helping others, but I’ve learned the hard way that givers need to set good boundaries because takers have none. Without clear boundaries, I invite exhaustion, resentment, and imbalance into my life. I had to face the fact that I was setting myself on fire to keep others warm.   That realization changed the way I respond. I don’t need to justify, explain, or over-apologize. “No is a complete sentence.”  It’s not harsh; it’s healthy. When I say no, I’m not rejecting a person; I’m protecting the best of myself so I can show up with energy, kindness, and honesty when it really counts.   The truth is that boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re a form of respect, for myself and for others. They define where my responsibility ends, and someone else’s begins. I can care without carrying. I can love without losing myself.   Every time I practice this, I get stronger. I’m less likely to trade my peace for approval, less likely to confuse sacrifice with love, and less likely to abandon what matters most to me.   The next time someone tries to hand me their emergency, I remind myself: peace is priceless, boundaries are necessary, and giving doesn’t mean burning myself out to keep others comfortable.   If it’s not a “hell yes,”  it’s a “hell no.”   Watch for the blind spots. Start learning how to identify, discover and expose hidden blind spots in your life. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

I often refer to some people as “sleepers.”  By that, I don’t mean it negatively at all. In fact, I see it as a deep compliment. A sleeper is someone whose presence doesn’t shout, but whose character quietly speaks volumes.   Too often, when I meet someone for the first time, the conversation begins with a list of accomplishments, titles, or impressive stories. Sometimes it feels like a résumé spoken aloud. I don’t doubt their experiences, but I often wonder if the story has been polished, embellished, or perhaps borrowed from another.   But then others don’t lead with hero stories or achievements. They introduce themselves with humility, even meekness. Those are the people who intrigue me, the ones I want to know more about.   Ron is a man I knew from church for several years before discovering who he really was. To me, he had always been a kind, thoughtful, soft-spoken person. Many years ago, while we were on a flight to Baltimore, he casually mentioned that he had flown F-4 jets in Vietnam. He had completed countless sorties over North Vietnam and provided close air support for troops on the ground. Later, he became a test pilot for the F-15, a fighter-bomber that set new standards in aviation.   What struck me most wasn’t his military service, though that was extraordinary. It was the fact that he had carried these stories quietly for years, never offering them as the first thing I, or anyone else, would know about him. He was also a deeply Christian man, and his humility seemed to be the thread that held all the parts of his life together.   That encounter taught me something invaluable. True strength doesn’t need to announce itself.  Humility and meekness can be the most powerful introductions of all. The most memorable people I meet are not defined by what they have done, but by who they are.   I often wonder: when I meet someone, do I lead with my accomplishments or my humility?  That choice shapes not only how others see me, but also how I see myself.   Watch for the blind spots.   Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp

Not long ago, I sat with an amazing man who was wanting some tips for his marriage. As we talked, I asked him to write a letter. Writing can clear the ricocheting thoughts in my mind that keep me from focusing on what I need to do to better myself. However, this was an unusual letter. I asked him to write a letter from God to him. The following week, he brought me this letter, which he agreed I could share:   December 18, 2017   Dearest Son,   I want to compliment you on your gentle and calm spirit. You know those are the qualities I covet for all of my children.   Gentleness is that part of love that I longed to see even in your marriage. By the way, I love your darling wife, more than words can say or more than I can fully describe or your understanding on earth's side of heaven.   I chose your wife for you so that you would have someone to care for and to love. Be gentle with her. I made her different from you. Allow those differences to be my way of showing you how my creation is unique and what I do best.   Be gentle and of a calm spirit with her. "Gentleness is a willingness to accept limitations and ailments without taking out your aggravation on her or others. Gentleness shows gratitude for the smallest service rendered and for tolerance for those, including your wife, who you may think do not always do it right. Being kind to your wife is the crowning mark of a good and gentle person."   You know my son Jesus when he walked the dusty roads of Palestine, was described as "gentle and humble of heart ” (Matt. 11:29). Humility is a word I wrote about in my last letter to you. Do you remember the words "the lower you bend, the closer you are to me."   My inspired word says, "Humble yourself under my mighty hand and I will lift you up in due time. Cast all your cares on me, for I care for you."  (1Peter 5:6). All of heaven's resources are available for you to love your wife with a kind, gentle, and humble spirit. Stay calm in the times of conflict and trust me to always be there in the midst of the storm.    I love you Son.   Your Heavenly Father.   Sometimes I need to relax and write my thoughts to see what "I CAN"  do. This letter is a great example.   Watch for the blind spots.   Get a copy of Blind Spots in Relationships. Discover the hidden behavior that could be holding you back from the relationships you desire. http://tinyurl.com/yc3usfsp