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Go big or go home. We have all heard it, tried it, or failed at it. Truth be told too many times when you "go big or go home" you often end up at home. I see it in my office often, people convince themselves that massive success requires massive action. Instead of taking it one step at a time, they force themselves into unrealistic improvements believing it will get them there faster. This is the tortoise and hare story. People who have achieved greatness have learned a crucial lesson: take tiny steps. While taking tiny steps may seem like a passive way to achieve a goal, doing so actually entails sticking to the processes and making the necessary efforts to achieve them. Most failures are not the result of a lack of willpower or courage, but a lack of consistency. All these tiny steps are held together by consistency which results in success. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” —Mark Twain I am stuck until I change myself. [BLIND SPOT] Changing your actions and behaviors to change your habits is a deliberate and strategic approach that provides you with the prescription you need to make major changes that will impact you for the rest of your life. The "Weekly Display" worksheet will guide you through the process of changing your actions and behaviors in order to change your habits. On this worksheet, you will write in what goal or goals you want to attain at the top of the sheet, then identify activities you can do each day to direct your efforts towards reaching the goal. These activities could be measured in hours, minutes, miles, pounds, pages read, or any other things that you would like to measure. Set a goal of how many times per week you would like to perform this activity. Break this small goal into daily activities. Review your activities each morning and each evening, and log your results. Be as realistic as possible with the results. This is not to give yourself a grade, it is just to see how you are doing and correct your course if needed. At the end of the week, summarize your achieved results and compare them to your weekly goal. Follow up with these questions…what worked well this week, what didn’t work well, and what do I want to focus on next week? This is a great way to track your progress and hold yourself accountable. The “Weekly Display” is the best key, I have found, to focus on changing habits and creating new ones. I would like to challenge you to download it and get started. Remember, tiny steps consistently over time lead to success. I cannot wait to hear what you accomplish. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #counselingworks #leadershipcoaching #mentorship #communicationiskey #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #emotionalintelligence #tortoiseandhare #smallstepseveryday #smallstepstobigchange #smallstepstosuccess #gobigorgohome #consistencyiskey #familytherapy #bettereveryday #slowdown

My friend Paula made this comment on the “Blame” post: “This is a great one! Would you please do a blind spot post on defensiveness? While reading this (post on Blame), I imagined addressing the blame issue with someone, but they might get very defensive, and bringing a blind spot to someone's attention might go awry. And maybe my own, trauma-driven, response to having to always defend myself, ha-ha. If someone brought to my attention a blind spot, I might have a knee-jerk reaction of defensiveness.” Yes, Paula! This is a very worthwhile quandary. How do you get someone to see their blind spots? Remember, blind spots are the things that are said or done that cause others to feel pushed away from us. To make someone aware that they are causing us to experience something harsh or unpleasant is a delicate task. Defensiveness comes when you want to point out a blind spot and the other feels attacked and denies the accusation, they try to defend themselves from feeling angry, hurt, or ashamed when they perceive the other as critical. They have difficulty with “constructive criticism” and may mistakenly take it as a perceived threat. Anyone can be provoked by a personal issue that causes them to have a defensive reaction. Most of us want to hear good things about ourselves and when we hear negative things, it puts us into a recoil state. Defensive behavior triggers people’s fight, flight, or freeze response, which is generated by the reptilian brain. Receiving criticism can be very challenging, especially if there is any possibility of low confidence or shame. It is hard to hear what I call “negative feedback” as loving and caring. It does not draw you closer, and it's mostly heard as nagging, complaining, demeaning, or belittling. Just remember in any relationship, one size does not fit all. What works for one person may not work for another. It is imperative that you stay agile as you work to get your point across. Listening and remaining calm are valuable resources in a defensive situation. But don’t relent, if you relent, it is much more difficult to go back and restart the process and if you submit to it, it will continue to haunt both of you. To help someone overcome a blind spot means that you want to help them create an opportunity to connect and be close as opposed to creating distance. It creates an opening where both people benefit and win. The magic question is, “How do I get this idea across without creating a threat?” The objective is to be able to develop an offering that would reduce fear and start a line of communication. Let’s look at a situation where someone has just been told they are controlling. What they may hear is that they are being blamed for being controlling “all the time.” But when they reflect on their past, they realize how frequently they have given in without receiving recognition for it. At this moment, anxiety overrides intellect making it challenging to absorb this remark. “You” statements come across negatively, putting others more on the defense. Often in my practice, I hear these statements. “You are controlling.” “You never listen.” “You are getting loud.” “You are being mean.” These are “igniting” statements and when you are trying to create an environment where there are no defensive knee-jerk reactions, these are best avoided. Making statements that are directed toward "you" helps diffuse tension and makes the other less defensive. “I am feeling pushed away.” “I want something better for us.” “I want to feel safe in your presence.” “I want to feel special again.” Making the statement, “I'm in a double bind here, I’m danged if I do and danged if I don’t. I am afraid it will upset you if I tell you I am offended. If I don't tell you I'm offended, I'm afraid you'll continue to offend me, and it will cause more and more problems down the road.” You are “asking” them to join you in this dilemma and collectively work through this issue. Being inviting is the key. In healthy relationships, one partner does not want the other to be in a bind and will do whatever is necessary to relieve the pressure. In a defensive situation, emotional maturity—being able to recognize and control your own emotions and have the capacity to identify the others’ emotional state and respond effectively—is highly valuable. If I make a suggestion and they do not respond amicably, I must keep out of any argument and try to rephrase the statement or request in a way that will diffuse the situation. If this process takes too long, perhaps professional assistance is required. The ideal situation is not to allow blind spots to exist, because if they continue it will be the downfall of the relationship. Being able to offer empathy and respect to those around you will also go a long way to avoiding the trap of defensiveness. Great question Paula, I pray this was helpful. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #counselingworks #staypositive #keeptalking #leadershipcoaching #mentorship #resilience #communicationiskey #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #defensivenessbuildswalls #defensiveness #blame #constructivecriticism #emotionalintelligence

Relationships become predictable when we do the same thing repeatedly, even if it doesn't work. You say this…I respond with that… I do this…you do that… These predictable conversations or actions create an “orbit.” An orbit is a perpetual elliptical path that one object in space takes around another. It is the same in relationships, we create an orbit that moves in the same trajectory path and becomes predictable in nature. When engaging in these familiar activities, we never resolve any issues, and actions usually end with disappointment and without closure. This is the beginning of a fractured relationship. It is vital to start fresh discussions or take new actions that can lead to resolutions in order to get over this. I call this flying in a new orbit. Problems arise when one partner endeavors to make a change for the better but the other feels uncomfortable and they try everything within their power to return the relationship to its familiar old orbit. We tend to hang out in what is familiar rather than what is good for us. If I choose to show up differently in my relationships to create a win-win for us, it is imperative that I stay in this new orbit even if things don't improve right away. When I choose something new to promote this win-win without putting the other in a defensive mode, I have established a new orbit. This could be that I choose not to allow an argument to get out of hand, or that I will not allow someone to bully me or defame me. After choosing the new orbit, I must ACT in a manner to show the other I am serious about what I need for a win-win. Another example could be a debate that fuels polarization, anxiety and worry. If this dispute was written on a tablet instead of speaking, it might be handled differently. As a result, anxiety may decrease, and reason and intellect may be better employed. Sustained change is the secret to success when you choose a new orbit. It is necessary to stay on the new path until the other sees the advantage of the new way of doing things. Thus, a new orbit is created. Is this easy? No. Is it fruitful in building a stronger relationship? Absolutely. Be open to recognizing and even celebrating what makes each of you healthier in this relationship. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #counselingworks #staypositive #keeptalking #leadershipcoaching #mentorship #resilience #communicationiskey #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey

Repeat phrases often enough and they will become true; don’t major on your minuses. This is “automatic” negative self-talk. “Yeah, but I….” “If only I.…” “I am such a (negative)….” “I’ll never….” Having pejorative thoughts about ourselves produces limiting beliefs that create blind spots. Sometimes we drowned in negative thoughts that affect us externally without even noticing. When we internalize negative comments from others, it is like the story of the frog in a boiling pot, the more negative things we tolerate, the more they become the things we begin to believe. “It’s not what happens, it’s what you do about it.” —Jim Rohn You must remember that the hard days are what make you stronger. Without the bad days, you don’t realize what a good day is. If you never had any struggles, you would never have felt a sense of accomplishment! Identify 100 good things about you and write them down. When you fill your self-talk up with so many positives, you start to employ them in your life. Now create a mantra that is inspiring. A mantra is a positive statement that can help you to challenge and overcome the minuses. It is a breath prayer that is repeated over and over when you find yourself entertaining your minuses. When you repeat these good things and believe them, you can start making major changes. “I am beautiful, loving, caring, and intellectual.” “I am courageous, committed, generous, and passionate.” "Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving, I get stronger and more resilient." “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the plane takes off against the wind, not with it.” —Henry Ford Consider just how extraordinary you are. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #counselingworks #staypositive #keeptalking #mantras #leadershipcoaching #jimrohn #froginapot #mentorship #resilience #communicationiskey

I think we have all been there, our son, daughter, or someone we care about comes to us and says, “I am not smart enough!”, “I am not pretty.” “I can’t do anything right!” And before they can even get the words out, we are like, “Oh yes you are! You are the smartest young man I know!” or “You are very pretty.” “You can do it and you will!” We grab at the low-hanging fruit thinking “I got this!” and in our haste to make them feel better, we do the opposite. We invalidate their emotions and tell them they are wrong about how they feel. When someone says they are not smart, pretty, handsome, good enough, or right, it is because in their mind; they are very troubled, frustrated, or may even have a logical example that backs up their statement. They are not wanting to be changed. They are expressing what they feel now and reaching out for connection. I had always assumed they needed me to step in and make it right. Not so, they are wanting to be heard, understood, and do not want to be told what to do. They are needing to hear their voice. They are attempting to reduce anxiety and stress by talking it out. What I choose in this situation goes a long way to determine who they are, how they see themselves, and what direction things will go. The more they can talk about what is going on inside, the better they begin to understand themselves. Ask gently curious questions to help them. "How long have you been thinking this way?" "What else can you tell me about this?" "What do you need from me?" Gently curious questions provoke them to seek and process what they are facing. We must remember that this is not the time to debate their feelings but to encourage and support them, to drill down and help them identify what they are experiencing. After the conversation has ended, I suggest waiting a minimum of two hours, then going to them and asking a question like, “Remember when you said you were not handsome, would it be okay if I did not agree with that?” Letting time pass fosters connection; now they can hear what they could not hear earlier, which will very likely dispel some of the anxiety they experienced. I have to remind myself; that safe listening, ‘gently curious’ questions and time are keys to helping others alleviate anxiousness, allowing them to hear who they are. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #guardyourheart #takecontrolofyourlife #counselingworks #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #inspirationalwords #selfawarenessispower #communicationiskey #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #anxietyrelief #anxietyisreal

You are in a classroom where students are working on a group project. The deadline is approaching, but they are far from finishing and the teacher is inquiring about their status. Immediately the students start to explain themselves, everyone starts to point fingers and the discussion goes round in circles as they try to avoid the blame and pin it on someone else. “Not MY fault” Ouch! [Blind Spot] Blame avoids culpability. Blame means I do not need to change because if you would just do things correctly, there would be no problem. (By the way, I determine what is correct) [Blind Spot] When something goes wrong, it can be tempting to self-protect and blame somebody else. The situation suffers if everyone is more concerned with assigning blame than finding a solution. Laying blame leads to toxic relationships as people turn against each other and attack one another. Benjamin Franklin stated, “Blame-all and Praise-all are two blockheads." [Blind Spot] Blame is fascinating, you can see how it shapes our lives as an amicable way of positioning ourselves, a gentle spar or wisecrack. Blame is a shame monster. It will break apart marriages and wreck relationships. Continuous blame is a form of bullying and bullying produces shame which is a confidence thief. Blame immobilizes social programs; desecrates corporations; can unseat and overthrow governments; start conflicts and justify murderous acts on humanity. It offers no solutions. It’s a trap. A blind alley. Though blaming is common and natural, we must learn not to trade in it. There is no finer source of joy than being present, taking responsibility for things that are not working well, and finding opportunities and solutions with others. Is blame a blind spot for you? Perhaps it might be healthy to ask the ones closest to you. Avoiding the trap of blaming, improves your emotional maturity, quality of life, and effectiveness. Responsibility is the art of leaders! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #guardyourheart #takecontrolofyourlife #counselingworks #workculture #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #inspirationalwords #selfawarenessispower #communicationiskey #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #balancedlifestyle #buildabetterfuture

Life, love, and the “pursuit” of…. relationships. There is nothing more thrilling, more exciting than the feeling that “the one” is attracted to you and the pursuit begins. You become completely wrapped up in one another’s lives, inseparable. Yes, life cannot be sweeter. But it is just a memory because you have been feeling for the past few months, maybe even years now stuck in a rut, the chemistry is toned down, communication is off, and something just feels adrift. Now you seem to only pursue jobs, dinner, kids, school, and events, and along the way, your world has turned into a continuous daily grind. You feel underappreciated and like all your efforts go unrecognized. This is not the way it used to be. You ask yourself, “what happened to us?” How did it go from “Every little thing she does is magic, to "You’ve lost that loving feeling?” You must recognize that life is constantly changing. Many times, in my office I am asked a question, “Why am I the only one who has to change?” or “Why don’t you pick on him/her?” The major issue is wanting the other person to change. After all, change is horribly difficult and when I see that the other person can change and cause our life to be more pleasant, balanced, and joyful, it makes sense for them to change. Interestingly enough, they do not want to change for the same reasons. I have discovered the secret to this dilemma is to change myself. We all go through rough patches in our relationships—every relationship—not just marriage. Reclaiming and restoring pursuit in relationships is vital; it is a huge missing piece. No matter how you move forward, remind yourself that all relationships take work, it does not mean it is over… it is just a chance to grow. It is not so much the grand gestures as it is the, I see you’s, the thanks for all the seemingly small, simple things that get done that truly hold us together. Long, happy relationships are about working together, committing to improvement, being
 compassionate, showing appreciation, life, love, and the pursuit! Have you ever felt you weren't pursued in your relationships? Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #guardyourheart #takecontrolofyourlife #counselingworks #workculture #emotionalmaturity #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #personaldevelopment #changeyourmindset #pursuitofhappiness #selfawarenessispower #communicationiskey #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #balancedlifestyle #buildabetterfuture

We put up walls to keep the pain out and wind up cementing the hurt in. We keep emotional pain inside and build walls around us thinking it will keep us safe, secure, and protected. We learn to expect little from others, and we settle for not expressing our emotions because talking about them makes us feel vulnerable. We may have felt betrayed, loss of trust, or have had our hearts broken. As these experiences happen, we begin brick by brick to build emotional walls of self-preservation. Whatever our reasons for building them, they are good ones. These preemptive walls serve an important purpose at first—they help guard us from any further onslaught while we are tending to the wounds that require immediate attention. These walls initially constructed to provide a safe place, if left unchecked, unintentionally become our own self-built glasshouse. Any possibility of connecting is exchanged for the illusion of protection. It hurts to hurt, no doubt. But when we allow our emotions to become “walled off”, we pay an even heavier price. It is caustic to any meaningful, supportive relationships, or feelings of purpose and direction. When the walls we build go from keeping us safe to isolating, trapping, and keeping us from reaching out, we have to think long and hard about why we have built them up, and decide if they are doing more harm than good. “The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.” —Jim Rohn Walls don’t protect us, they keep us locked in a struggle of our own creation. Let’s put our guard down, chip away at the walls, and let the light in. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #BetterEveryDay #counselingworks #parentingtips #parentinglife #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #changeyourmindset #selfawarenessispower #truthoftheday #emotionalintelligence #consistencyiskey #jimrohn #mindsetmastery #ahamoment

Individuation is a process by which a person becomes an “individual.” It is a separation of intellect, emotion, and independence of self from others. It means being able to be guided and in charge of your own thoughts or emotions and not others’ expectations or emotions. The greater the level of individuation, the more you can act from your own core under any circumstance. Being fused is the opposite of individuation. If you are “fused,” whatever is going on around you is impacting and influencing your thinking and your choices. If you are individuated, you can think alone, making your mind up about what you need, value and desire. It is essential for the individuation process to mature independent of the pressures and loyalties of the family social system. Individuation is a process that brings “stability and balance” to every area of your life. Think of a gyroscope. (Later replaced by a ring laser gyro.) When not in motion there is nothing special about it. However, when it is spinning, an energy is created that allows it to remain stable, moving in its own momentum, it is very hard to steer it off course. Regardless of whatever it is attached to—robots, planes, boats, or any other navigation system, it remains steady. If an airplane is on autopilot and it leans to the right the gyroscope reorients to level and balance the plane. This is only one of many functions it has for auto-correction. The gyroscope “holds steady” in times of great chaos and unpredictability. Individuation is your inner gyroscope; allowing you to maintain stability and balance, survive, and even prosper as your belief systems, fears, anxiety, finances, and relational situations fluctuate. Through this process of individuation, we cultivate wholeness and become authentic emotionally mature human beings. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #individuation #emotionalhealth #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #gyroscope #balancedlifestyle #buildabetterfuture

Riddle me this—what takes effort to build, is easy to ruin, and is essential to any emotionally healthy relationship? TRUST. Trust is the cement of relationships. It is the foundational principle that holds it all together and is an indispensable component in effective communication. To trust someone means you can depend on them, are comfortable confiding in them, and feel secure with them. Without trust, it can be hard for relationships to grow and progress to a deeper level. Trust is something that takes effort to establish and when trust is fractured or shatters into pieces, it is difficult to reset. This might sound like a no-brainer, but belittling, criticizing, and yelling fracture trust—fast. I see it often, a relationship without trust is insecure, chaotic, and becomes dysfunctional. We are fallible and will make mistakes that can inevitably shatter the trust between us. Trust is the cement and cement is solid and unwavering, but if neglected, and without due care and attention it can fracture, crack, and collapse under pressure. You have seen holes, divots, or damaged joints repaired in highways, sidewalks, or patios only to see them fail again days or weeks later. Failed repairs are not uncommon. Fractured trust is the same. You cannot just throw cement down, and smooth it over—it must be cut back, poured again, and allowed time to reset. How the fracture is repaired is key to reinforcing the relationship. A sincere apology, (WHICH CHANGES BEHAVIOR), and forgiveness are a great start; learning not to blame, project, or minimize is an emotionally mature skill when it comes to fortifying resilient relationships. It may take some time, but it is possible to reset the bond together and into the future. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #trustinrelationships #trusttheprocess #counselingworks #forgiveness #communicationiskey #emotionalintelligence #emotionalmaturity #guardyourheart #takecontrolofyourlife #buildabetterfuture

Think of a bouncing ball. When a ball hits the ground, the force or pressure causes it to bounce back. That is what resilience means—the ability to bounce back. Resilience is the capability to withstand adversity in difficult life events, personal crises, abuse, bullying, job loss, financial instability, and any other life circumstances. Resilience is not something that you are born with. Resilience develops as people grow, gain knowledge, better thinking, and emotional maturity. Believe me, it is not adversity that makes people stronger—it is the “process” of facing life, learning, and persevering. In this process, people experience their “own” capabilities and gain confidence about overcoming future difficulties. In the big playbook, Jesus gave us a key to being resilient, “In the world, you have tribulation, trials, distress, and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted!] For I have overcome the world.” —John 16:33 AMPC Resilience is the power to overcome setbacks and live the life we have imagined. It reminds me of Thomas Edison. He made thousands of prototypes of the light bulb. Despite struggling with "failure" throughout his entire working life, Edison never let it get the best of him. All of these "failures," which are reported to be in the tens of thousands, simply showed him how not to invent something. His resilience gave the world some of the most amazing inventions of the early 20th century—the phonograph, the telegraph, and the motion picture. It is hard to imagine what our world would be like if Edison had given up, not taken courage, and stayed confident and undaunted after his first few failures. It forces us to look at our own lives. Resilient people do not crumble in times of crisis, they regroup and move forward. Do you have the resilience to overcome your challenges and bounce back? Think of what you will accomplish if you do not give up. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #blindspots #bettereveryday #resilience #resiliencecoach #counselingworks #familytherapy #communicationiskey #comebackstronger #comeback #BounceBack #failforward #dontgiveup #nevergiveup #morethanaconqueror #undaunted

I just happened to hear a conversation that was taking place and this sentence captured my attention, “I heard her smile”, they said. "I heard her smile." I wrote it down so I would not forget it, it made me smile and they did not even know. The power of their words was not only on the giving end but also on the receiving end. They had given words or a word that caused a reaction in her and they received back “without seeing” because of the closeness of the relationship. They “heard” her smile. Words are a big deal, how that sentence affected me shows their power. I counsel and mentor people every day and one thing I notice time after time is how much power our words hold. We use a lot of words every single day, and like stones thrown into a lake, we do not always know how far our words may ripple out. All their effects cannot be foreseen, and way too often, we do not even think about what we are saying. Words affect your emotions and the emotions of others; they empower or disempower. It is all too easy just to blurt out your emotions and thoughts; it takes control, fortitude, and integrity to express your words in an emotionally mature way no matter what the situation. “There are two ways to speak the truth: as bullets or as seeds...” —Gary Chapman Stop and take a breath before you speak. “I heard her smile.” What would it be like to say that about an experience in your relationship? What powerful “seeds” were spoken to emit the smile that was heard? Paying attention and being able to understand emotions from “hearing”, is vitally important, especially since a lot of your conversations take place without any direct contact. Think about how you communicate. Be attentive to the words you speak, so you too “hear” the smile. Your words are not just for now, your words go beyond you. Someone is always listening. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #beliefsystem #corebeliefs #blindspots #responddontreact #dailyfocus #changedaily #opportunity #mindsetmastery #counselingworks #relationshipgoals #focusonyourself #weeklyhabits #dailyinspiration #communicationiskey #emotionalmaturity #BetterEveryDay #counselingworks #passiveaggressive #assertivecommunication #mentalhealth #communicationmatters