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Ugh, that pesky "little light." Did it make you pause and cause a little anxiety? You have already got enough going on, right?! Now, this?! Acting out of my anxiety is what I call “going out of control to gain control.” Have you ever gone out of control to gain control? I have many times and didn’t know it. My intentions had to do with controlling others or a situation in which I had no control. I sometimes say God did not give me a “check engine” light. If I did have a check engine light that showed my anxiety is overriding my intellect, it would be easy for me to recognize, disengage, and be sure that I do not cause more damage to myself, the other person, or the relationship. When I feel stressed or attacked, it brings rise for me to need to get bigger and louder. Going out of control to gain control takes me out of the logical, rational part of my brain. It ensures I will become much less "emotionally mature" and feel I must resort to "survival mode." Now I recognize God did give me a “check engine light.” Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. I can begin to seek self-control and identify what is going on with my body, and mind. I have to remember the only thing I have control of is me. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #fridaymotivation #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader

Looking back, I could rationalize, minimize, and justify anything. [BLIND SPOT] The more hidden the blind spots, the more I say and do things that I will feel remorse about later. People who rationalize, minimize, and justify are frustrating to attempt to communicate with and do not realize it. They utilize the 'filibuster,' an excessive use of words to deflect meaning or place decoys that draw the focus on the perceived accusation. I see them as slippery fish, wiggling, struggling, jerking, trying to get away without connecting. I have found in myself and others that acting more emotional than intellectual during the height of anxiety causes regretful actions and decisions. In 'anxiety up' situations, we need to stop, focus and gain control as quickly as possible—not discussing anything further until we feel more in control. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader

I encourage you to stay on the curious side, not the fixing side. I do not want the ones that I love to be sad, in a negative mood, or emotional. Too many times 'fixing' is my intent when I see someone suffering. If their emotional state makes me emotional, I may want to help override their emotions by fixing or offering suggestions to get them out of that emotional state. [BLIND SPOT] Asking what I call 'gently curious questions' is often a fun and beneficial way to bring something to the table which causes their mood to shift. 'Gently curious questions' softly probe the thoughts and ideas of a person in a way that causes them to learn more about themselves. It allows them to drill down and get to the deeper meaning of the circumstances that may be contributing to their problems or conditions. A few examples of GCQ's are: • What do you need from me? • I’m confused, can you elaborate? • Help me understand? 'Gently curious questions' gives me knowledge I do not obtain if I am always trying to fix people. Stay on the curious side! Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people

Let us look at a situation where my 5-year-old son was being overly active at the breakfast table. There was great laughter and an interchange of fun conversation. Suddenly he accidentally knocks over a glass of milk. Regardless of how I act, in the next 10 seconds, he will remember this moment for a lifetime. So how will he feel when this spilled milk situation ends? It will depend on how I express my feelings toward him. The milk spilled...no one can go back and unring this bell. Nothing can change the circumstance, so do I express my frustration, and react by going out of control to gain control, [Blind Spot], or do I 'respond' in my rational, logical, reasonable mind, and use this as a learning opportunity to grow, teach, reinforce, and correct in such a way that he can learn from it and do so with confidence? Paying attention to my emotions, allows me to be in control of my choices and enables me to build a better me. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

You remember the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz? If he was out in the elements or neglected and not protected he would rust. The longer that rust exists without attention, the more damage it causes. If left unmaintained, it will ruin. I call ‘resentments’ rust in relationships. This is a term I have coined to compare relationships that are in trouble. Rust is silent and destructive. Resentments are the same. Poor communication in our culture seems to me to be the largest contributor to creating this kind of rust. Resentments in relationships create avoidance, distance, and misunderstandings. [Blind Spot] If poor communication creates a rusty relationship, then it stands to reason healthy relationships are a result of honest open feedback. What was it that the Tin Man needed to resolve his rusty situation? OIL!! I like to say that the ‘oil’ that prevents rust (resentments) in relationships consists of honesty, compassion, openness, and emotionally mature conflict resolution. Let us look for opportunities to connect, rather than create more resentment and corrosion. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

In my practice, I notice families are fractured by their many differing points of view. Some are more focused on themselves than the family. Unity and cohesion are missing. They start to blame, condemn and become critical of their perception of family members and situations. [Blind Spot] When this arises, I like the idea of utilizing the “spirit of the family.” The “spirit of the family” might be words like respect, peace, harmony, joy, love, care, or any word that the family could rally around to encourage and create solidarity. When the constructive idea of the “spirit of the family” comes along, there is a choice in the way the family interacts, communicates, perceives, and feels toward one another. Knowing that with every breath, and every word spoken, we are intentionally choosing the potential outcome of family members to feel safe, secure, and healthy. The "spirit of the family" creates a household where we, “stop examining each 'them', and start examining ourselves.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

‘Why’ in relationships is caustic. We can be quick to ask the ‘why’ questions. "Why did you not call?" "Why are you late?" "Why are you looking at me that way?" Did it make you feel a little defensive reading those? It's because the ‘why’ question is charged with frustration, emotion, hidden agendas, and sometimes anger. It is cultural to look at the other person rather than to look inside. [Blind Spot] ‘Why’ provokes and puts people on the defensive. ‘Why’ is asking for justification that cannot remedy the anxiety being expressed. What can we do instead? Let’s flip the script on the ‘why’ questions. Rather than saying, "Why are you late?" I could say—I was worried, I wanted to hear your voice, I missed you, I was afraid something could have happened to you—showing you care and empathize. Small adjustments that bring radical change in relationships. Flip the script today, the change you experience will be amazing. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement

I have found that acting more emotional than intellectual during the height of anxiety causes regretful actions and decisions. The more anxious I am the less intellectual. The more intellectual I am the less anxious. I view anxiety and intellect as inversely proportionate. When one goes up, the other goes down. The key to this concept is knowing when anxiety has overridden intellect. When you find yourself in this situation, remember, that you are in peak performance to make the best, healthiest, most productive choices when your intellect is equal to your emotions. Operating within this “balance” enables you to master your skills in decision-making. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset

This is my “West Texas” term, referring to isolation, dismissal, or rejection. “Cut from the herd” is when one member of the family is excluded from the rest. In nature, animals establish herds for protection against their predators and are safe because the herd protects each other. It is necessary to 'cut' someone because of their poor choices, such as drugs, alcohol, verbal, or physical abuse to name a few. Cutting someone for these reasons protects those within the herd, and helps teach the person who has been ‘cut’ that this behavior weakens and threatens the health of the herd and will not be tolerated. Strong herds are powerful and regenerate strength. Strong families are the same. Have you ever found yourself cut from the herd? Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset

Knowing the contents of the Bible—God’s Word—propels me into living a wonderful life. It is the best playbook I have ever studied and drawn on. Based on where I am in my life, the meaning, or the contents of the Bible speaks to me differently. Example : Paul was able to find joy in prison. He did not get bitter, but rather he wrote about his joy! Hearing this in my early life was inconceivable to me. How is that even possible? He said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through…” Today, I see that there are many ‘prisons’ I find myself in where I too can 'choose' joy. That means I need joy, when I am stuck in traffic, waiting on someone, feeling like I don’t have control, or in disagreement with someone I love. Don’t get locked in a prison-like state of mind—stuck within a trial that ‘appears’ to be closing in. [Blind Spot] I like the following quotation from Darren Hardy’s podcast Darren Daily, “I can find my way through, change my frustrations into fascinations and be joyful.” Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

Welcome to Monday. Got up, got breakfast, and headed out the door. Got in the car, started the engine, pulled out of the drive, and got on the road for a great day at the office. I checked my rear-view mirror and both side mirrors. Everything looked clear. I started to get into the next lane…YIKES, I am met with a blaring horn from the car I was cutting off. I swerved back as the other car roared past, the driver giving me the “glare.” You know the one like I deliberately set out to crash into them this morning?! BLIND SPOT…the hidden area in between the perspective of all my mirrors. It was not on purpose, but it would have been a disaster if I had continued to move into the lane. This is often how you can live your life, caught off guard by your blind spots and crashing into them again and again, wondering why you are wrecking things. If you avoid checking your blind spots, you run the risk of damaging yourself or others. When you meet with the 'blaring horn' in your relationships that seems to come out of nowhere, take a second look, adjust and make a change. Recognizing your blind spots ‘steers’ you to a deeper understanding of yourself improves your communication, and connection, and builds a better you. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #darrenhardy #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart #joyinthejourney

"If you’re interested in “building a better you”, the dynamics in Jerry Clark’s book will definitely be a good beginning on your journey to self-awareness and building more positive relationships in your life. The author invites us to take a good look at our reflections in the mirror, in fact, he even encourages the reader to take a step into “the looking glass”, to explore the myriad of opportunities we all have in our lives. Well written, entertaining, and insightful…"Blind Spots in Relationships: What I don’t know I don’t know about myself” gently encourages us all to look for and discover our own blind spots." ~John Mc—US Marine Corp/Vietnam What an honor. I want to thank you for sharing and taking the time to let me know. Keep looking for the blind spots and building a better you. Feel free to share your thoughts, like, and share these posts. PLEASE NOTE: Sign up to publish your comments. Login with your email, this gives permission and authentication to publish your content on the site. Click "Sign Up" and login with your email and confirm, once you are signed in you will not have to do it again when you return. It only takes a sec and I want to thank you for your feedback. If you haven't already gotten your copy of my new book, it's available below. Blind Spots in Relationships What I don't know I don't know about myself #bettereveryday #blindspots #mindsetmastery #leadershipcoaching #counselingworks #buildingrelationships #communicationiskey #inspiration #leader #people #anxietyawareness #stressmanagement #emotionalintelligence #anxietycoach #growthmindset #executivecoaching #relationshipsuccess #mindset #blindspots #joyfulheart