

Jerry Clark
- Oct 28, 2022
- 3 min
The Confidence Thief
I know the importance of reminders and today is a reminder of a blind spot that I see rear its ugly head day after day in my office. SHAME [SHām] NOUN 1. a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior: As I have mentioned, I grew up in West Texas in a family of six children. I was the fifth in line. I was small in stature, and we were not the wealthiest family around. Within the family, there was a lot of teasing, s
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 24, 2022
- 3 min
Respect.
I must admit my own judgment, or misjudgment has gotten me into trouble too many times. I developed a false preconception due to bias, prejudice, and stereotyping. I hate it when I am wrong, especially about others. A couple of weeks ago, my friend Kevin asked to hear more about respect. I certainly appreciate these requests. I find it easier to relate to these types of inquiries by explaining what it means to me, and for me, it is easier to identify what things are by first
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 17, 2022
- 3 min
Pride versus Grace
There are many definitions of pride. In this case, I’m using pride as related to being haughty or arrogant. This could mean that I'm better than you, that what I have is superior to what you have, or that I'm more important than you are, so please step aside. Yes, pride can be related to, I'm proud of my family or my team or my contributions, but I'm talking about pride that relates to arrogance, egoism, and a holier-than-thou attitude. Grace is the opposite. I'm referring to
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 14, 2022
- 3 min
Silent Killers
Resentments are the quiet thoughts or feelings we harbor against another person because we consider them responsible for an act of indignation, animosity, or ill will. Susanne and Jeff, you may recall, have been married for about ten years with two children and have grown resentful of one other over time. Resentments surface when we are hurt or offended, and when we try to convey them, there is a refusal to listen. As a result, we go silent. Jeff has been attempting to let Su
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 12, 2022
- 2 min
An invaluable resource...feedback.
Happy Wednesday. I want to thank you for joining me on this journey. For the better part of a year, I've been selecting topics to post about and guide us toward discovering and exposing blind spots and building a better you. Wow, the time has flown, and what a pleasure it is to share with you my story, strategies, and principles. I am reaching out to see how things are going and to see if there are any issues, concerns, or challenges you may be facing that you would like addi
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 10, 2022
- 3 min
3x5 Cards
I was speaking to a woman many years ago before cell phones became so popular. Judy was complaining about a family member (I’ll call her Sandy) who had very caustic mannerisms when she called. Judy stated that Sandy's comments were rude and attacking and that she continued to hold her own and make the conversation uncomfortable. Judy claimed that every time the phone rang, she would wish it wasn't Sandy and that she felt humiliated after the call. I told her about the princip
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 7, 2022
- 2 min
I call it Rationalize, Minimize and Justify
People who rationalize minimize and justify are almost impossible to communicate with and do not know it. They can appear self-righteous, unattractive, and totally unaware. (I have been guilty of this, you?) For example, Suzanne and Jeff have been married for 10 years and have two small children. The relationship, like so many, has its ups and downs, but Suzanne seems to be pulling away. She's not feeling as close as she once did and withdraws emotionally from Jeff when she a
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 5, 2022
- 3 min
Poverty—the absence of presence.
At times, our lives are busy, and time is in short supply. Many of us live far away from or have strained relationships with spouses, family, and friends and many people feel lonelier and more isolated than ever before. We live in an age of ultra-connection, yet we have an absence of closeness. We can be together, but not close or present. What a contradiction – right? I frequently ask this question, “How do you evaluate your ability to perform your roles in relationships?” I
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Jerry Clark
- Oct 3, 2022
- 2 min
The Oxymoron.
I don’t know if you have ever gone out of control to gain control. I have and it was my intention to try to control others or situations in which I had no control. In the TV series, Funniest Home Videos, I am reminded of the man who is trying to start his weed eater. After pulling the rope multiple times and it not starting, he began to bang the weed eater on the concrete, turning it around, hitting the non-compliant engine as hard as he could, and bending and breaking every
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 30, 2022
- 2 min
My Challenge
I remember a debate in college. We were debating whether there was a heaven. I recall one person who spoke up and said, “The proof is in the older and wiser men and women whom all seem to focus on their spiritual life.” Another quickly retorted, “Yeah, they're just cramming for finals.” Perhaps that is true for some, but I have this strong desire to live my next 20 years leaning forward and making a difference in the world around me. At my age, it is customary to implement th
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 28, 2022
- 2 min
Blind Spots Series 2—Bay Harbour UMC
This Sunday was the second in the series of co-presenting Blind Spots at my home church, Bay Harbour UMC, League City, Texas. Sr. Pastor Stephen spoke on blind spots from the perspective of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. I addressed Global Thinking, what Pastor called "mental bouncing"—identifying life’s issues that key up anxiety, stress, and worry. Global Thinking is a wicked paradox, but there is a simple exercise that can help. "Martha, Martha, you are worried and trou
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 26, 2022
- 2 min
The double bind.
Sandy and Rex have been in a relationship for about 18 months. They have a fun relationship and enjoy each other’s company. Rex likes to use sarcasm and it is offensive to Sandy. She confronts him with the statement, “You are very sarcastic, and I don't like it.” He retorts, “What’s the matter can’t you take a joke?” She turns away in frustration and emotionally steps back from him. Nothing gets resolved and the relationship continues in a damaged state. This is the slippery
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 23, 2022
- 2 min
Offense, not defense.
Yes, it is the season. And I got to thinking about how football relates to the game of life. It is essential that I live my life being intentional and strategic— it's not the easiest way, it takes courage, planning, and knowing what I want to accomplish in the end. I need to know who I am and where I'm going, or I will take the path of least persistence. Yes, persistence. It is easy for me to be lazy and make excuses to simply act, react, or play to the moves and timing of ot
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 21, 2022
- 1 min
Blind Spots Series—Bay Harbour UMC
I have the privilege of co-presenting a series on Blind Spots at my home church, Bay Harbour UMC, League City, Texas. Sr. Pastor Stephen will be speaking on the blind spots of the leaders in the scripture. I will be addressing today's worldview perspective on blind spots that I have observed in my life and practice. It is a powerfully collaborative series that I'm thrilled to share with you. The video below is the 9 am Traditional Service. You can listen to the full message o
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 19, 2022
- 2 min
So what, now what...
Holding grudges is like being very ill and not seeking medical assistance. Joe and Janice have been arguing about the same thing for over a week. The argument is not that important, but they just keep it going. How long will this last? Who is at fault? What will it take to begin to move forward in the relationship? Small things that get carried along can morph into larger things as they continue to persist. Being able to resolve these small skirmishes will be a gift to the fu
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2 min
What is the Price of a Poor or Broken Relationship?
Have you ever looked at the cost of a broken or fractured relationship? If it leads to a divorce, it can be horribly expensive in both dollars and emotional pain. They can cost tens of thousands of dollars in addition to excruciating emotional anguish. Divorce doesn’t just affect two people. It can be a traumatic experience for children, and no one can put a price on the children's tears or the concern of those who care about the two of you. I have witnessed too many tears du
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 14, 2022
- 2 min
Listen to Yourself.
Couples and families come into my office locked into arguments that create defensiveness and emotional pain which is difficult to dispel. In this instance, we only see and hear what the ‘other person’ is doing to contribute to the difficulty in this situation. Many years ago, I recall a single mom who had a 9-year-old son. She reported that her son was very disrespectful and argumentative and whenever an argument ensued, he would run to his room and hide under his bed. She sa
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 12, 2022
- 2 min
The balance of the three-legged stool.
Have you ever found yourself in conversations doing any of these things? Filibustering or trying to convince Avoiding or abandoning the conversation Becoming argumentative or angry Pleasing or placating Using humor Notice these are things that we learn as children. It is my observation that learning to reduce stress as children, we found ourselves doing these things: Temper tantrum Yelling Getting quiet or alone Causing a distraction by pleasing Using humor to break the tensi
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 9, 2022
- 2 min
Do you like Superhero movies?
Superman, Ironman, Spiderman, or Flash? What's not to like about a hero who wears a cape and can fly in to save you from grave danger at a moment's notice? There is another hero to consider, a Greek hero, Achilles. He was the son of an immortal goddess named Thetis and a mortal man named Peleus. When Achilles was born, Thetis thought she could make him immortal by submerging him into the River Styx. As legend has it, Thetis held Achilles by his heel when she dipped him into t
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 7, 2022
- 2 min
Listen beneath the words.
Bob and Amy have been married for five years. He had to go into the office early and was required to stay late, it’s been a long day. On the drive home, Bob is trying to clear his mind of work clutter, because he is ready to get home and feel the comfort of his family. Upon his arrival, Amy meets him with the statement, “you are late!” He immediately flares back, “I've been working all day, and this is the way I get greeted?” She retorts “Well, why didn't you call?” He knows
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