Jerry Clark
- Sep 28, 2022
- 2 min
Blind Spots Series 2—Bay Harbour UMC
This Sunday was the second in the series of co-presenting Blind Spots at my home church, Bay Harbour UMC, League City, Texas. Sr. Pastor Stephen spoke on blind spots from the perspective of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. I addressed Global Thinking, what Pastor called "mental bouncing"—identifying life’s issues that key up anxiety, stress, and worry. Global Thinking is a wicked paradox, but there is a simple exercise that can help. "Martha, Martha, you are worried and trou
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 26, 2022
- 2 min
The double bind.
Sandy and Rex have been in a relationship for about 18 months. They have a fun relationship and enjoy each other’s company. Rex likes to use sarcasm and it is offensive to Sandy. She confronts him with the statement, “You are very sarcastic, and I don't like it.” He retorts, “What’s the matter can’t you take a joke?” She turns away in frustration and emotionally steps back from him. Nothing gets resolved and the relationship continues in a damaged state. This is the slippery
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 23, 2022
- 2 min
Offense, not defense.
Yes, it is the season. And I got to thinking about how football relates to the game of life. It is essential that I live my life being intentional and strategic— it's not the easiest way, it takes courage, planning, and knowing what I want to accomplish in the end. I need to know who I am and where I'm going, or I will take the path of least persistence. Yes, persistence. It is easy for me to be lazy and make excuses to simply act, react, or play to the moves and timing of ot
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 21, 2022
- 1 min
Blind Spots Series—Bay Harbour UMC
I have the privilege of co-presenting a series on Blind Spots at my home church, Bay Harbour UMC, League City, Texas. Sr. Pastor Stephen will be speaking on the blind spots of the leaders in the scripture. I will be addressing today's worldview perspective on blind spots that I have observed in my life and practice. It is a powerfully collaborative series that I'm thrilled to share with you. The video below is the 9 am Traditional Service. You can listen to the full message o
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 19, 2022
- 2 min
So what, now what...
Holding grudges is like being very ill and not seeking medical assistance. Joe and Janice have been arguing about the same thing for over a week. The argument is not that important, but they just keep it going. How long will this last? Who is at fault? What will it take to begin to move forward in the relationship? Small things that get carried along can morph into larger things as they continue to persist. Being able to resolve these small skirmishes will be a gift to the fu
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2 min
What is the Price of a Poor or Broken Relationship?
Have you ever looked at the cost of a broken or fractured relationship? If it leads to a divorce, it can be horribly expensive in both dollars and emotional pain. They can cost tens of thousands of dollars in addition to excruciating emotional anguish. Divorce doesn’t just affect two people. It can be a traumatic experience for children, and no one can put a price on the children's tears or the concern of those who care about the two of you. I have witnessed too many tears du
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 14, 2022
- 2 min
Listen to Yourself.
Couples and families come into my office locked into arguments that create defensiveness and emotional pain which is difficult to dispel. In this instance, we only see and hear what the ‘other person’ is doing to contribute to the difficulty in this situation. Many years ago, I recall a single mom who had a 9-year-old son. She reported that her son was very disrespectful and argumentative and whenever an argument ensued, he would run to his room and hide under his bed. She sa
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 12, 2022
- 2 min
The balance of the three-legged stool.
Have you ever found yourself in conversations doing any of these things? Filibustering or trying to convince Avoiding or abandoning the conversation Becoming argumentative or angry Pleasing or placating Using humor Notice these are things that we learn as children. It is my observation that learning to reduce stress as children, we found ourselves doing these things: Temper tantrum Yelling Getting quiet or alone Causing a distraction by pleasing Using humor to break the tensi
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 9, 2022
- 2 min
Do you like Superhero movies?
Superman, Ironman, Spiderman, or Flash? What's not to like about a hero who wears a cape and can fly in to save you from grave danger at a moment's notice? There is another hero to consider, a Greek hero, Achilles. He was the son of an immortal goddess named Thetis and a mortal man named Peleus. When Achilles was born, Thetis thought she could make him immortal by submerging him into the River Styx. As legend has it, Thetis held Achilles by his heel when she dipped him into t
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 7, 2022
- 2 min
Listen beneath the words.
Bob and Amy have been married for five years. He had to go into the office early and was required to stay late, it’s been a long day. On the drive home, Bob is trying to clear his mind of work clutter, because he is ready to get home and feel the comfort of his family. Upon his arrival, Amy meets him with the statement, “you are late!” He immediately flares back, “I've been working all day, and this is the way I get greeted?” She retorts “Well, why didn't you call?” He knows
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 5, 2022
- 2 min
Two dollars’ worth of guff for a nickel’s worth of offense.
Joe and Janice have been married for 11 years. They have a fractured relationship, and it has been eroding for the past three. It has been going downhill so slightly that neither is aware of their current circumstances. So, Joe comes in and the first thing Janice mentions is that he forgot to do something she asked him to do earlier. Joe loses it and shouts, “You only look at what I don't do, not what I do. I am the one who makes this household run as it does. You are only cr
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Jerry Clark
- Sep 2, 2022
- 3 min
"Courage, dear heart..."
You have a strong sense of self-worth; you know what you want and how to get it. You are assertive enough to get people's attention, but not so aggressive that you scare them away. Your life is going exactly as you planned, and you are truly happy—AND THEN—something completely unexpected comes at you like a ton of bricks and sends stars whirling around your head. Someone draws your attention to a behavior that is obvious to everyone but you. You are shocked, perplexed, and le
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 31, 2022
- 3 min
How does your garden grow?
Early in a relationship...the seed. I meet someone and feel a mutual attraction. On the first date, I throw out all the hamburger sacks tossed in the back seat of my car. I wouldn’t want them to think I might be a slob. We talk about who we are and have a lot of fun getting to know each other. I find myself wanting to spend more thyme with them. It's simple to dig into a conversation and ask questions, to be accepting, positive, and interested. It's so appealing to feel a con
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 29, 2022
- 2 min
My Transition to Humility
Growing up in the 50s with five other siblings was tough on me. I was very frail, small, and constantly picked on. We didn't have the most stylish clothing, so again I received a lot of teasing. Teasing, shame, and embarrassment were confidence thieves for me. My desire to be liked and accepted was very important. I would make every effort to come across as likable as I could in any social situation or environment. I never let any shortcomings or flaws show because that was h
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 26, 2022
- 3 min
Are You Nose Blind?
I read in an article that before Febreze was a “cleaning staple” sold at groceries across America, Procter & Gamble declared it a dud and nearly pulled it from shelves. In the launch research, marketers talked to a park ranger who said her love life was ruined because everything around her smelled like skunk. She began crying as she told them how the spray had changed her life. Drake Stimson (Senior Brand Manager) sniffed the air inside her living room. He couldn't smell anyt
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 24, 2022
- 2 min
Stop. Pause. Observe.
I am reminded of a story that was sent to Dear Abby. Dear Abby, a young man from a wealthy family was about to graduate from high school.
It was the custom in that “affluent neighborhood” for the parents to give the graduate an automobile.
"Bill" and his father had spent months looking at cars, and the week before graduation, they found the perfect car.
On the eve of his graduation, his father handed him his gift.
He reluctantly opened the present, which contained a Bi
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 22, 2022
- 2 min
If I could do it again...
Occasionally situations arise and we look back and see that they didn't turn out the way we would have liked. It is easy to feel frustrated or ill-prepared when these circumstances arise. The other day I was in the mall needing to get a new screen saver on my phone. I was shopping on “no tax on back-to-school items”, so the mall was packed. I was under the weather and feeling bad physically. I had tested for fever and covid—both were negative. Did I mention I had already deal
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Jerry Clark
- Aug 19, 2022
- 3 min
47 on the Algebra Test
I was privileged to work in a hospital setting getting the experience of all kinds of psychological matters. I facilitated multifamily groups of adolescents, children, and their parents. These children and adolescents were there for issues of behavior, drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety, or other circumstances that cause life and families to be out of balance. Many wonderful things happen in multifamily groups that do not happen in regular family groups. In multifamily group
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 24, 2022
- 2 min
Alleviate Anxiousness
I think we have all been there, our son, daughter, or someone we care about comes to us and says, “I am not smart enough!”, “I am not pretty.” “I can’t do anything right!” And before they can even get the words out, we are like, “Oh yes you are! You are the smartest young man I know!” or “You are very pretty.” “You can do it and you will!” We grab at the low-hanging fruit thinking “I got this!” and in our haste to make them feel better, we do the opposite. We invalidate their
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 21, 2022
- 2 min
BLAME
You are in a classroom where students are working on a group project. The deadline is approaching, but they are far from finishing and the teacher is inquiring about their status. Immediately the students start to explain themselves, everyone starts to point fingers and the discussion goes round in circles as they try to avoid the blame and pin it on someone else. “Not MY fault” Ouch! [Blind Spot] Blame avoids culpability. Blame means I do not need to change because if you wo
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