Jerry Clark
- Jul 14, 2022
- 2 min
Individuation
Individuation is a process by which a person becomes an “individual.” It is a separation of intellect, emotion, and independence of self from others. It means being able to be guided and in charge of your own thoughts or emotions and not others’ expectations or emotions. The greater the level of individuation, the more you can act from your own core under any circumstance. Being fused is the opposite of individuation. If you are “fused,” whatever is going on around you is imp
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 12, 2022
- 2 min
Trust is the cement...
Riddle me this—what takes effort to build, is easy to ruin, and is essential to any emotionally healthy relationship? TRUST. Trust is the cement of relationships. It is the foundational principle that holds it all together and is an indispensable component in effective communication. To trust someone means you can depend on them, are comfortable confiding in them, and feel secure with them. Without trust, it can be hard for relationships to grow and progress to a deeper level
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 10, 2022
- 2 min
Resilience
Think of a bouncing ball. When a ball hits the ground, the force or pressure causes it to bounce back. That is what resilience means—the ability to bounce back. Resilience is the capability to withstand adversity in difficult life events, personal crises, abuse, bullying, job loss, financial instability, and any other life circumstances. Resilience is not something that you are born with. Resilience develops as people grow, gain knowledge, better thinking, and emotional matur
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 7, 2022
- 2 min
“I heard her smile”
I just happened to hear a conversation that was taking place and this sentence captured my attention, “I heard her smile”, they said. "I heard her smile." I wrote it down so I would not forget it, it made me smile and they did not even know. The power of their words was not only on the giving end but also on the receiving end. They had given words or a word that caused a reaction in her and they received back “without seeing” because of the closeness of the relationship. They
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 5, 2022
- 2 min
Manipulation
Manipulation is a tactic someone uses to “pull your strings” and gain control over you by making you feel bad about your “authentic” thoughts, feelings, and actions. They use strategies like lying, gaslighting, passive-aggressiveness, and "the silent treatment," among others, to get you to believe that you are wrong and that they are right. You may feel confused, caught off guard, uncertain about what to think or feel, and find yourself apologizing for something that is not y
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 30, 2022
- 2 min
Rear-view mirror as big as the windshield
Are you driving down life’s highway with a rear-view mirror as big as the windshield? Sounds silly but we do not realize what a blind spot this is and how it puts us on a collision course in life. The rear-view mirror in your car was created small compared to the windshield because we drive looking ahead, not behind. We can spend so much time looking at what is behind us and find ourselves stuck, or worse, crash because we are not focused on where we are heading. Sometimes we
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 28, 2022
- 2 min
Passive. Aggressive. Assertive.
We have all experienced them, the friend that fly’s off the handle at a waiter, the roommate that leaves notes instead of talking, the coworkers that refuse to stand up for themselves no matter the personal cost. All of these scenarios represent an inability to properly communicate emotions in a productive way. Emotions make us human, but they can get the best of us, especially when communicating. Intense emotions can lead to unhealthy interactions with others if unmanaged. D
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 26, 2022
- 2 min
Don’t measure yourself by someone else yardstick.
Emotionally mature people can tell the difference between constructive and destructive feedback. Constructive feedback helps us identify blind spots. Destructive feedback comes across as controlling and belittling. Too many people are saying, “You need to do it this way, you shouldn’t do that. Well, that didn’t work well. You definitely should have studied harder.” What we hear is we are not enough; we don’t measure up to their standards. Then we feel bad because it’s difficu
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 23, 2022
- 2 min
You got to know when to hold'em
Sometimes unkind, sarcastic, antagonistic comments are thrown in your direction and as culture would have it, you ‘immediately’ react. [Blind Spot] This reaction usually exacerbates the situation and creates even more chaos and more relational disconnection. Hold’em—the ability to let these words go past your ears and into the abyss, the wall, or thin air. I know this can be tremendously difficult, but it is indisputably the most successful way to handle it. Do not engage, si
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 21, 2022
- 2 min
The Morale Booster podcast
I had the pleasure of speaking on “The Morale Booster Network—Dr. John Ughulu” It is a platform for entrepreneurs, career professionals, leaders, and the general public to give back to the society through coaching and mentoring. Dr. Ughulu is an Atlanta-based Best-selling Author, Public Speaker, Strategist, and Professor of Entrepreneurship helping individuals on a daily basis take charge of their lives, businesses, and career. It was a pleasure to get to share this message o
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 19, 2022
- 2 min
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a great battle he would face. The grandson sat down to listen. He was eager and curious – what was the great battle he would face? “My grandson,” he began, “The battle is between 2 wolves that live inside you.” “One is Evil—anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” “The other is Good—joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kin
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 16, 2022
- 2 min
Let me tell you what I need from you...
“Let me tell you what I need from you before I tell you what I’m gonna to tell you.”
—Jerry D Clark When you begin to talk and do not declare what you need from the listener, it can create chaos and disconnection. If your desire is to vent and get things off your mind, but the listener thinks you need to be fixed or receive suggestions to take care of your situation, anxiety will arise. Telling what you need will give both directions for a healthy conversation. It allows fo
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 12, 2022
- 2 min
got blinders?
I got to thinking about horses wearing blinders. Blinders keep horses narrowly focused on the task or road ahead. It reduces their field of vision so they do not get easily distracted or spooked. Blinders can prove enormously useful…or become problematic, which is precisely why they were made for horses and not humans. But you've heard of someone described as "having blinders on?” When we wear blinders we cannot see what’s going on around us or behind us, it limits the view t
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 9, 2022
- 2 min
Turning frustration to fascination
Think of the last time you were disrupted by something outside of your control. It might have been bumper-to-bumper traffic, being late for an appointment, someone cutting in line, or being convinced that the slow driver in front of you is doing it on purpose. How did you respond? We are going to have challenges or adversity to deal with, usually when we least expect it or least want it. “You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will being frustrated by it.”
—Ji
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 7, 2022
- 2 min
The tip of the iceberg...
I observe often that we do not talk in-depth enough, we talk on the surface and too much information goes unspoken. We hit the highlights thinking that is enough to build the personal relationships we desire. [Blind Spot] I call this “Iceberg Communication.” If you remember your science, only about 10% of an iceberg is above the waterline. 90% of the iceberg is under the waterline. Imagining our communication is the iceberg, the ‘words’ we are using and our ‘actions’ are visi
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 5, 2022
- 2 min
Who writes the script?
In today’s world, letting go for some parents is extremely difficult. I firmly believe parents do the best they know how to do with the idea of launching their young adults to be safe and productive citizens. In my practice, I love to paint a scenario of their son or daughter graduating high school. It’s a celebratory outdoor party with great food, laughter, and festivity. All the friends, family, and the graduate’s friends are present. The graduate stands up at one point, ta
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 3, 2022
- 1 min
Backyard Chat podcast
Recently I got to speak on Backyard Chat Podcast | @cbgumc with Melissa Harrison, Children’s Ministry Director, and Karen Tyler, Associate Pastor “The Experience.” They are equipping parents to take in God’s Word and live it out in their everyday life. It was a pleasure to be on the podcast and share about “Blind Spots in Relationships What I don’t know I don’t know about myself.” Part 1 Episode https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-2vk54-1223ca0 Part 2 Episode https://www.podbean.co
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Jerry Clark
- May 29, 2022
- 2 min
Build a better family
How do you build a family that meets life head on with strategic and intentional purpose? Families are complex social systems consisting of individuals with unique interpersonal struggles. As parents, there must be a clear line of communication and no competition between them. There must be understanding, support, common goals, and the ability to recognize their own strengths and weaknesses, melding them into a common future that unites and does not divide. Here are principle
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Jerry Clark
- May 26, 2022
- 2 min
Parents are the pinnacle of the household
Kids should be allowed to ‘go between’ parents but never allowed to ‘come between’ them. It seems almost innate for a child to ask one parent for something and if they do not get what they want, go to the other parent. Parents cannot be split in the decision-making process. When parents are not in harmony, requests by the children can cause parental conflict, allowing the child to get their way while the parent's debate, argue, fight or walk away and say nothing. In certain s
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Jerry Clark
- May 24, 2022
- 2 min
Good thoughts vs bad thoughts
I find that I get in my own head sometimes, and that can be a lonely place to be but it can also be a reckless place to be. Especially if I am consumed by negativity, it can be very hard to make good decisions. Without feedback, my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and what I think I know, can get me into trouble quickly if I don’t stop them from taking over. Researchers have found that the average person has 50,000+ thoughts daily. And of the “daily” thoughts, a staggering 80% is
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