Jerry Clark
- Jul 14, 2022
- 2 min
Self-built glasshouses of pain
We put up walls to keep the pain out and wind up cementing the hurt in. We keep emotional pain inside and build walls around us thinking it will keep us safe, secure, and protected. We learn to expect little from others, and we settle for not expressing our emotions because talking about them makes us feel vulnerable. We may have felt betrayed, loss of trust, or have had our hearts broken. As these experiences happen, we begin brick by brick to build emotional walls of self-p
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 14, 2022
- 2 min
Individuation
Individuation is a process by which a person becomes an “individual.” It is a separation of intellect, emotion, and independence of self from others. It means being able to be guided and in charge of your own thoughts or emotions and not others’ expectations or emotions. The greater the level of individuation, the more you can act from your own core under any circumstance. Being fused is the opposite of individuation. If you are “fused,” whatever is going on around you is imp
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 7, 2022
- 2 min
“I heard her smile”
I just happened to hear a conversation that was taking place and this sentence captured my attention, “I heard her smile”, they said. "I heard her smile." I wrote it down so I would not forget it, it made me smile and they did not even know. The power of their words was not only on the giving end but also on the receiving end. They had given words or a word that caused a reaction in her and they received back “without seeing” because of the closeness of the relationship. They
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Jerry Clark
- Jul 5, 2022
- 2 min
Manipulation
Manipulation is a tactic someone uses to “pull your strings” and gain control over you by making you feel bad about your “authentic” thoughts, feelings, and actions. They use strategies like lying, gaslighting, passive-aggressiveness, and "the silent treatment," among others, to get you to believe that you are wrong and that they are right. You may feel confused, caught off guard, uncertain about what to think or feel, and find yourself apologizing for something that is not y
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 30, 2022
- 2 min
Rear-view mirror as big as the windshield
Are you driving down life’s highway with a rear-view mirror as big as the windshield? Sounds silly but we do not realize what a blind spot this is and how it puts us on a collision course in life. The rear-view mirror in your car was created small compared to the windshield because we drive looking ahead, not behind. We can spend so much time looking at what is behind us and find ourselves stuck, or worse, crash because we are not focused on where we are heading. Sometimes we
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 28, 2022
- 2 min
Passive. Aggressive. Assertive.
We have all experienced them, the friend that fly’s off the handle at a waiter, the roommate that leaves notes instead of talking, the coworkers that refuse to stand up for themselves no matter the personal cost. All of these scenarios represent an inability to properly communicate emotions in a productive way. Emotions make us human, but they can get the best of us, especially when communicating. Intense emotions can lead to unhealthy interactions with others if unmanaged. D
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 26, 2022
- 2 min
Don’t measure yourself by someone else yardstick.
Emotionally mature people can tell the difference between constructive and destructive feedback. Constructive feedback helps us identify blind spots. Destructive feedback comes across as controlling and belittling. Too many people are saying, “You need to do it this way, you shouldn’t do that. Well, that didn’t work well. You definitely should have studied harder.” What we hear is we are not enough; we don’t measure up to their standards. Then we feel bad because it’s difficu
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 23, 2022
- 2 min
You got to know when to hold'em
Sometimes unkind, sarcastic, antagonistic comments are thrown in your direction and as culture would have it, you ‘immediately’ react. [Blind Spot] This reaction usually exacerbates the situation and creates even more chaos and more relational disconnection. Hold’em—the ability to let these words go past your ears and into the abyss, the wall, or thin air. I know this can be tremendously difficult, but it is indisputably the most successful way to handle it. Do not engage, si
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 21, 2022
- 2 min
The Morale Booster podcast
I had the pleasure of speaking on “The Morale Booster Network—Dr. John Ughulu” It is a platform for entrepreneurs, career professionals, leaders, and the general public to give back to the society through coaching and mentoring. Dr. Ughulu is an Atlanta-based Best-selling Author, Public Speaker, Strategist, and Professor of Entrepreneurship helping individuals on a daily basis take charge of their lives, businesses, and career. It was a pleasure to get to share this message o
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 19, 2022
- 2 min
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a great battle he would face. The grandson sat down to listen. He was eager and curious – what was the great battle he would face? “My grandson,” he began, “The battle is between 2 wolves that live inside you.” “One is Evil—anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” “The other is Good—joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kin
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 16, 2022
- 2 min
Let me tell you what I need from you...
“Let me tell you what I need from you before I tell you what I’m gonna to tell you.”
—Jerry D Clark When you begin to talk and do not declare what you need from the listener, it can create chaos and disconnection. If your desire is to vent and get things off your mind, but the listener thinks you need to be fixed or receive suggestions to take care of your situation, anxiety will arise. Telling what you need will give both directions for a healthy conversation. It allows fo
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 12, 2022
- 2 min
got blinders?
I got to thinking about horses wearing blinders. Blinders keep horses narrowly focused on the task or road ahead. It reduces their field of vision so they do not get easily distracted or spooked. Blinders can prove enormously useful…or become problematic, which is precisely why they were made for horses and not humans. But you've heard of someone described as "having blinders on?” When we wear blinders we cannot see what’s going on around us or behind us, it limits the view t
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Jerry Clark
- Jun 9, 2022
- 2 min
Turning frustration to fascination
Think of the last time you were disrupted by something outside of your control. It might have been bumper-to-bumper traffic, being late for an appointment, someone cutting in line, or being convinced that the slow driver in front of you is doing it on purpose. How did you respond? We are going to have challenges or adversity to deal with, usually when we least expect it or least want it. “You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will being frustrated by it.”
—Ji
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 14, 2022
- 2 min
Emotionally Constipated
With no teaching or training in emotions growing up, in school, or in the Marine Corps, I pushed through life emotionally unaware. Not knowing how to effectively express emotions and share feelings, caused me to be completely blind to how they were impacting my choices, actions, and behaviors. I was ill-equipped to handle being a husband and father, and after 13 years, my first marriage failed. I attempted counseling but it was not for me, and it didn’t work. I did not recogn
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 12, 2022
- 2 min
When you don't know what you don't know
So there you are, and all of the sudden you hear ‘that song’ that reminds you of ‘that person.’ And you are emotionally hijacked—just like that. Good or bad, the song interacts with the emotions you have connected with it and it bugs you all day long. “How could they leave?”, “What did I do?”, “Could things have been different?” Or perhaps you walk into work and, without you realizing it, you are put off by a coworker's expression because it makes you think of your father whe
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 10, 2022
- 2 min
Yep, blind spot
Did your mom or dad ever scold you as a kid and tell you they don’t know why you are so hot-headed —as they are screaming at you for being hot-headed? [Blind Spot] Maybe you have told your friend that they always seem to be distracted on their phone when you are trying to talk to them — while you are in the same habit of scrolling through your phone as they talk. [Blind Spot] When you hear something over and over again from different people and in different contexts, it is th
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 7, 2022
- 2 min
Blind Spots like a Mac Truck
Blind spots are the Mack truck that drives through your life, revealing your weak spots, and limitations and humbling your reactions. I was in a conversation with a very dear friend on the way back from a trip. We discussed many situations and things we had experienced in a seminar attended that weekend. In the midst of the conversation, he said, “You know, you have very limiting beliefs.” WHHAAAAT?! I was immediately defensive and began to read him the riot act on how he was
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 5, 2022
- 1 min
...into the "looking glass"
"If you’re interested in “building a better you”, the dynamics in Jerry Clark’s book will definitely be a good beginning on your journey to self-awareness and building more positive relationships in your life. The author invites us to take a good look at our reflections in the mirror, in fact, he even encourages the reader to take a step into “the looking glass”, to explore the myriad of opportunities we all have in our lives. Well written, entertaining, and insightful…"Blind
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Jerry Clark
- Apr 3, 2022
- 2 min
Yikes, I checked...
Welcome to Monday. Got up, got breakfast, and headed out the door. Got in the car, started the engine, pulled out of the drive, and got on the road for a great day at the office. I checked my rear-view mirror and both side mirrors. Everything looked clear. I started to get into the next lane…YIKES, I am met with a blaring horn from the car I was cutting off. I swerved back as the other car roared past, the driver giving me the “glare.” You know the one like I deliberately set
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Jerry Clark
- Mar 31, 2022
- 2 min
Finding Joy
Knowing the contents of the Bible—God’s Word—propels me into living a wonderful life. It is the best playbook I have ever studied and drawn on. Based on where I am in my life, the meaning, or the contents of the Bible speaks to me differently. Example : Paul was able to find joy in prison. He did not get bitter, but rather he wrote about his joy! Hearing this in my early life was inconceivable to me. How is that even possible? He said, “I’ve learned by now to be quite conten
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